Rascals R Wee
by Her Sweetness
Summary: [Sequel to Motel 37] After a millennium mishap, the yamis get turned into chibis! Whats worse is that the hikaris LOVE it and REFUSE to change them back! What's a cute, little spirit to do? Be totally naughty.
1. Pretty Pretty Princess

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Really, I don't.**

Her Sweetness: Because I felt like it. Yes, I knew what you were asking me. "Why the hell would you post this crap?" And I also know what else you're saying. "This is the third one! I'm tired of it!" Are you really?

"…"

I didn't think so. So, relax while I soothe your soul with the ending of the Wish You Were Here Trilogy. Who knows? Maybe you'll laugh. Maybe you'll cry. Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken.

Enjoy.

* * *

Rascals R Wee 

Chapter 1:

"Eek! Justin Timberlake is so freaking hot!"

"No way! He's _so_ last Tuesday, that lead singer from Fall Out Boy is SO out of this world!"

"What? Ah ha! Yugi likes Patrick!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Will you two please stop, I'm trying to concentrate!"

On a cool, spring day in early March, three boys had decided to spend the day together. And since none of them really felt like doing anything outside, they were inside Ryou Bakura's room while he was at the computer, slaving away on an English Report. Malik and Yugi had been quiet for most of the day, but when Ryou turned on his stereo, they were beginning to fight over singers and bands.

Malik grinned, walking around the room, "C'mon, Yugi, everyone knows Justin totally kicks. I mean, even Ryou agrees with me."

Ryou didn't look up from the computer screen, "I do not."

"Yeah, sure." He went to the closet that was guarded by a fair amount of dirty clothes. Upon opening it, he revealed to Yugi that the entire space had Justin's pictures plastered all over it and a particularly large poster of him behind the dresser with blue lipstick marks all over it.

"Geez." Yugi raised an eyebrow.

"MALIK!" Ryou shouted, racing over to the door and shutting it, "You know no one's supposed to know about that!"

Yugi tilted his head, motioning towards the door, "That blue lipstick… Wasn't that _Tea's_?"

"…"

Malik nodded, "Yeah, Ryou challenged her to a duel for that poster and he totally kicked butt. She never had a chance."

"Hmm. You know, I dueled Tea for her new Fall Out Boy CD."

"Hey…" Malik tilted his head to the side, "And _I _dueled her for her plaid miniskirt."

"…"

"…"

Both boys starred at him for a second before Ryou laid a hand on Malik's shoulder gently, "Malik… Is there something you're not telling us?"

"W-What? N-No, that's not what I meant! I only wanted that skirt for the material! It was so nice!"

Yugi whispered to Ryou, "_Sure_ he did. Ryou, this is turning into a problem. Next thing you know, Malik's going to be carrying a _purse_ like Otogi…!"

"Well, Yugi, even I have a purse." Ryou pointed to the small, purple shoulder bag over by the computer with a 'You Know You Want This' keychain on the zipper. "I just can't go anywhere without it. And besides that, we have to have them for… that time of the month."

Yugi almost choked, "WHAT? W-What time of the month are you talking about?"

Malik and Ryou looked at each other, "You know? When girls get their periods! We carry mace in our purses to stop them from attacking us, cause they can get _really_ bitchy."

"… Oh… Um… I-I feel kinda at a loss for words…"

"Hey, wait a minute…" Ryou said, cautiously and tiptoed towards his closed bedroom door. He put his ear to it and listened for a second before giggling and turning to his friends, "Do you hear that?"

They looked at each other before looking back at Ryou, "Um… no…?"

"Exactly. They've stopped fighting!"

"Ah! Oh my gosh, really? I didn't even notice!" Malik rushed over to the door and put his ear right beside Ryou's. "Hey, they have! I don't hear a sound."

"I knew we'd be able to get them to settle down." Yugi nodded, smiling to them. After a second, though, he frowned, "Um… wait. What if… the only reason we don't hear anything is because one of them has _died_? More specifically _Yami_?"

Ryou blinked, sweatdropping, "Oh… Oh, Yugi, I'm sure that even _Bakura _wouldn't-"

"Tch. _Marik_ would." Malik informed him and they all looked at each other for a second before kicking the door open and running down stairs.

When they reached the wall separating the top half of the stairwell from the bottom, they peeked over the side. Yugi's head on the bottom, then Ryou's then Malik's as they looked down into the living room where three yamis were currently seated on the floor, in a row, in front of the television and Gamecube controllers were in their hands.

Sighing, Yugi nodded to the other lights, "He's okay, thank Ra." He whispered.

"They all seem to be doing well." Ryou affirmed, "Maybe this has been working better than we thought it would."

Malik smiled, "Apparently. Um, but, let's just watch a little longer just to make sure everything's okay."

"… Good idea."

Down in the living room, in front of the television were three boys playing Super Smash Bros Melee in silence. But it was not content silence, no, it was tension filled silence. The three were engaged in what was probably the toughest fight of their long lives. With Marik as Bowser, Yami as Kirby and Bakura as Princess Peach, there was no clear-cut winner.

Marik starred intensely at the screen, watching Yami and Bakura's every move. They had just entered Sudden Death. One false move and any one of them would be blown sky-high.

Unbeknown to Yami, Bakura and Marik had a secret alliance, one in which they would kill the pharaoh once and for all! Even if it was only Kirby…

Suddenly, a boom sounded and Peach went flying off the screen, a shrill cry following her as she left sight.

"…" Bakura looked to the left, to Yami, and said astounded, "You killed me."

Yami smiled, "That was fun."

"… YOU DORK, YOU KILLED ME!" Bakura screamed, lunging at the ex-pharaoh and strangling him while they rolled around on the floor and disappeared under the coffee table; Yami's cries for help and Bakura's shouts of anger following.

"I-I didn't mean to!"

"AND I WAS SUCH A _PRETTY_ PRINCESS TOO!"

"You're insane!"

"I'm _GORGEOUS_!"

Marik blinked, a bit confused, and then looked underneath, "Hey, Bakura! Get him around the throat! His throat's his weak spot!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying, but he keeps trying to stop me!"

"Oh, I wonder why." Marik rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, me too!"

"… You really don't get the whole sarcasm thing, do you?"

"LET _GO_!"

The sound of a single slap echoed throughout the room as Yami was seen getting out from under the table and dusting himself off. "Geez! Stupid tomb robber!"

Marik scowled, "What'd you do to him?"

"Nothing."

Suddenly, Bakura came rolling out from under the table, sobbing into his hands, "H-He hit me!"

Marik paused before looking at Yami then back at Bakura, "… So?"

"I'm a PRINCESS! You can't hit girls!"

"… Alright, Bakura's gone nuts."

Yami's expression turned from that of an almost content one, to that of a sad and depressed one as he knelt by Bakura, "U-Um, I'm sorry Bakura, if I hurt you. I didn't mean it."

Bakura sniffed, his eyes all watery, "R-Really?"

"Uh-huh. In fact, I've never meant any of those mean things I said about you, Bakura. I'd be your friend if you wanted me to."

"Oh, Yami, that's so sweet! 'Cause the truth is I like you, too! … Tch, NOT!" Bakura grinned viciously as he pounced on Yami and began to pull on his hair and spit in his eyes, "Ha ha ha! This idiot really bought it!"

Marik's eyes were dilating as he returned consciousness, "H-He's not the only one…"

Yami finally kicked the other yami off of him as he stood up yet again, shouting, "That was a really dirty trick, Bakura! I was willing to make friends with you!"

"Pheh! Here's how much I want to make friends with _you_, Pharaoh!" Bakura sneered, ripping his shirt open and pulling out his millennium ring.

"_Eek_, hey! Watch where you're pointing that thing! B-Bakura put it away, you can't-" He tried to hide behind Marik, but got a good kick in the groin for it.

"Stop right there, Bakura!"

All three yamis stopped in mid-argument and looked up at he stairwell, seeing their hikaris come down the steps, hands on their hips and stern looks on their faces. Ryou was the one who had called his yami's name, and was now standing in front of him. "Bakura! What do you think you're doing? You know what I said about Shadow magic!"

Bakura pouted and sighed, "Yes, Ryou, I know what you said…"

"Say it, then. Let me hear you _say_ what you _know_ is the rule in this house."

Feeling utterly mortified at being reprimanded by his lighter half, Bakura blushed, being laughed at by Marik and Yami didn't say anything, as he was too scarred to speak. Bakura grumbled something under his breath.

"I couldn't hear that."

He growled, "I'm not allowed to use the millennium ring inside the house, only _outside_ when there's nobody around, no cops, no children and no cats and I'm never, _ever_ allowed to use my magic to possess flavored condoms and make them dance."

Everyone kind of looked at Ryou funny.

"… What? I _had_ to make that rule after he scared the living-daylights out of a Sex Ed class."

Marik grinned, "Right on, Bakura!"

Bakura smiled.

Yami got all huffy and snorted, "Well, I think it's gross! _Ew_!" He stuck his tongue out at them.

"SHUT UP, YAMI!" Both of the other spirits pulled out their millennium items and manifested two balls of black magic out of them, directing the two sources at the ex-king and letting them go. Yami threw up his millennium puzzle to protect himself and one of the spheres bounced back to hit Bakura, while the other one hit Marik, yet hit the side of his millennium rod and sending it back to Yami.

A cloud of smoke and a large boom followed while the hikaris had already hit the deck and were under the couch.

A few minutes later, when the smoke wasn't so thick or heavy, Ryou shook his head and crawled out from under the couch, pulling out Yugi and Malik with him. They looked around for a second, fanning out the smoke.

"Marik? Hey, Bakura? Yami?" Malik called when he could see again, "Are you guys okay?"

Ryou whined, "I don't see them! Do you think they might be in the Shadow Realm or something?"

"Um… guys…" Came Yugi's voice from over by the coffee table. Malik and Ryou noticed the strange tone of his voice and walked over when he said, "I-I think we have a problem…"

Both boys blinked and looked underneath, almost falling over when they saw three small, spiky-haired toddlers coughing and hacking, surrounded by a large pile of leather clothes.

Malik gasped, "M-Marik…?"

The little Egyptian looked up at him, tilting his head and looking quite annoyed, "_What_?"

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	2. Big And Ugly

Her Sweetness: Okay people, I need your attention. I've read the reviews and most of you HAVE read **Motel 37**. That's good. Because, in this chapter, we will see someone FROM **Motel 37**. I won't spoil the surprise.

* * *

Rascals R Wee 

Chapter 2:

On this normal spring day in this normal city where six not-really-normal boys resided, something happened that none of them expected and that none of them were ready to deal with. It would seem that, in the situation that the hikaris were in, they would most likely panic or faint from confusion.

Ryou, Yugi and Malik were about to faint from adorability.

"KYA! OH MY FREAKING GOSH, LOOK AT THEM!"

All three of the yamis who were under the coffee table were now giving strange looks to the hikaris who were cooing at them and going crazy, over what they didn't know.

"W-Wat're dey talkin' bout?" Marik scrunched up his face, still looking out from under the table.

Bakura shook his head at Ryou, "Eh, Ryou dwoes dis all da time, I jus ignore it."

Marik held back a giggle, "You talkin' funny, Bakura…"

"Am nwot."

"You did it agwain! You talkin' funny! … Huh? So am I!" He blinked and then looked over at Bakura and almost fell backwards. He stuttered, trying to make sense of it, "Y-You…! B-Bakura! You small…!"

"I twaller den you, shwut up!" Bakura narrowed his eyes and then they enlarged at seeing Marik's new form, then looking down at himself and he gasped. Both little chibis looked each other up and down and noticed that their clothes, which were now entirely too big, were in piles around them as they sat in their birthday suits, now beginning to get teary-eyed.

"W-Wat happened…?" Bakura sniffed, and then glared at his friend, "Marwik! Wat'd you do! Dummy!"

"I'm nwot a dummy! Shwut up!" Suddenly he noticed the absence of their punching bag, Yami. They looked up and it seemed that Yugi had captured the young prince and was now on the couch snuggling and cooing with him.

"Oh, Yami, you've never been so adorable!" Yugi cried out as he hugged his darker half close and rubbed his face in the boy's hair.

"Uh, uh… T-Tank'oo…?"

Marik stuck out his tongue, "Dat sissy. I tell ya one ting, Bakura, ya won't catch me doin' dat sissy stuff wit Mal— Ey! Malik! Put me down! Down! Stwop!"

"I can't help it, Marik! Look at you!" Malik now fully had control of Marik and, against his wishes, hugged him and giggled.

"Dwammit! Malik, you dwon't put me down now, I'll mwake sure you neva cuddle again!"

"Aw!"

"… Aw? Ya s'pwosed ta cower in fear!"

While Marik made a gigantic fuss, wiggling and fighting against his hikari's grip, Bakura was picked up carefully by Ryou who was giggling uncontrollably, almost turning pink with joy and this only made the boys madder.

"Wat da hell you laughin' at? Dis ain't funny and we wanna go back!" Bakura and Marik echoed.

Ryou managed to control his giggling and cleared his throat, trying to look at his small, naked other half sternly, but that was pretty hard. "A-Ahem. Now, Bakura, I want you to think about what you did…! That was a terrible thing you and Marik tried to do to Yami and I won't have any more of it! And furthermore—"

Malik's laugh interrupted Ryou's preach and they all looked over to the left side of the couch where Malik was playing with Marik's nose and the little Marik tried to make him stop, but was unsuccessful.

"Ha ha ha! Look, I got your nose!"

"Stwop!"

"AHEM!" Ryou and Yugi directed an unwavering glare at the third hikari, thus shushing him for the time being.

"Like I was saying before," Ryou continued, "That was just awful and you got what you disserved!"

Malik nodded to his yami, "You sure did."

"Gweat, okay! We did a bwad ting!" Marik folded his chubby arms, "We know dat aweady so jus chwange us bwack afore I gets mad."

Yami scoffed, "Yeah, wight. You can't mwake twreats, Marwik, you're small!"

"Wat? Well, I can 'till bweat you wup!" Marik growled and began running over to the other side of the couch but tripped over his foot and fell flat on his face.

"… Hwa."

"Shwut up!" He shouted, managing to get up again.

Yami shook and shivered in the safety of his hikari's lap, who shook his head, half in amusement, and half in pity. "Will you two calm down?"

Bakura pouted and whined, "Chwange me bwack…! Ish _cold_…! And I'm _nwaked_…!"

"Yweah, an' you wook funny." Marik snickered and pointed.

"Nwot as funny as you!"

"Bwah! I wook cool when I'm nwaked." Marik grinned and posed and after a moment of silence every hikari in the room broke out into howls and fits of laughter that turned their faces blue.

Yami giggled, "Hwa, Marwik's gettin' waughed at…!"

"…" Marik sniffed, sorrowfully. "I-I _do_ wook cool…"

"O-Okay…!" Yugi was the first to overcome their close to ten-minute laughing jag and he held up his hands to the other two as they came to a slow halt in their snickering and hooting at the young yami. Yugi smiled, "Um… it's apparent that this is a little bit too much for us right now. Guys," He turned to the chibis, "We can't turn you back right now, but we will."

Bakura was the first to whine, "But why nwot?"

"Well, 'cause we don't really know what you _did_." He answered truthfully.

"B-But, den, how do ya know you _can_ chwange us?" Asked Yami, now truly worried at the prospect of staying in this form. He looked up at his hikari with large, amethyst eyes and whined, "Y-Yugi…"

"Oh, Yami, don't look at me like that! We promise, as soon as we have a way to change you back to normal, we will."

Malik nodded, "And it's getting late, too, we should probably go home. Ryou, can we meet you somewhere tomorrow to think about this?"

"Sure, I'll call you two later, alright?" When they nodded, okay, each hikari picked up their respective yami and even though Marik and Bakura didn't like it, they didn't put up much of a fight. Yami, however, enjoyed being carried and Yugi and Malik walked out of Ryou's house with their chibis and went off in different directions.

After watching them leave, Ryou shut the door and turned around, smiling at Bakura who was sitting over on the couch, pouting.

"Aw, 'Kura… What's wrong?"

"I'm _wittle_."

Ryou nodded, coming over and sitting next to him, "Yeah… But you're cute. Even cuter than when you were big, doesn't that count for something?"

"… No!" Bakura narrowed his eyes but coughed again and wiped a spot of dust away from his cheek while shivering, "I-It's cold…"

"Aw, poor 'Kura! Well, c'mon, let's get you in the bath, then."

"Wat? N-No, Ryou, I can bave mysef!" He protested as he was picked up and carried down the hall against his wishes, "Dwammit, Ryou!"

Despite his smaller other half's protests, Ryou held Bakura tightly in one arm whilst his fidgeted around and, with the other arm, pushed open the bathroom door. He sat the boy on the toilet (the lid was closed), knelt down by the tub and turned on the water, letting in run into the bathtub. While he checked it, putting his hand in it to make sure it wasn't too hot; he heard tiny footsteps in the background.

Ryou blinked and turned around, almost not being able to contain his giggles at the sight of his little Darkness' naked form tiptoeing out of the room, his feet padding across the tiled floor.

Bakura was not aware that Ryou was watching him and, in his mind, he was making the perfect getaway. 'Awmost dere…' He thought as he reached the door, but just as he was about to make a run for it, he felt two arms scoop him up and before he knew it he was dumped in warm water.

"Wah!" He shrieked.

"Oh, 'Kura, stop it." Ryou smiled, leaning in over the tub, "It's not that bad and now you're finally small enough to play with my old toys!"

"… Huh?"

He reached over on the other side of the tub and picked up a small, yellow rubber duck from the edge. Squeezing it once, thus resulting in a squeak, Ryou put it down into the water and scooted it foreword. The duck swam in a small circle around the chibi Bakura, who frowned.

"I'm nwot a baby, so I ain't playin' with da duck!"

"But it's so cute!"

"… No!"

Ryou gave Bakura sad eyes and sighed, "But—"

"Ryou." He crossed his arms around his chest glaring the duck and then back at his hikari, "Dis ain't per… per… I-I won't stay dis way! You an' Malik an' da midget are gunna twurn us bwack tomorra!"

Laying his head on the bathtub's rim, Ryou pouted and whined, "Fine Bakura, go ahead and spoil my fun."

"I will!"

"…" He got up and walked out of the bathroom, "I'm going to get a towel to dry you off with, don't drown and be careful…"

"I know how ta twake a baf!" Bakura shook his tiny fist as Ryou went out into the hallway and he was alone in the room. He growled, looking around and thought about how much this sucked. He hadn't been this small in five thousand years. His only consolation was that the pharaoh must've been just as miserable. And this bought yet another thought to Bakura. Exactly what had they done to each other to get this way?

But before he could figure that out, his thoughts were interrupted by a little squeak and he looked down and saw that the rubber duck had swam into him, and was now halted by Bakura's bellybutton.

"… Stwupid duck…" He picked it up with both hands and was about to throw it out of the tub, but it squeaked again. He stopped and looked at it for a second before squeezing it again. He liked the sound a little more than he should've. He looked around, making sure Ryou was still gone, before wildly squeaking the duck.

Suddenly, a fit of giggles caught Bakura's attention and he looked over to the door where Ryou was standing, towel in hand and pink with laughter.

"Oh, 'Kura, I _knew _you'd like it! You sweetheart!"

"N-No! It's nwot watch'ya tink!"

* * *

"Get away fwom me, Malik." 

"Why are you so grumpy, huh?"

"I wook wike I'm three, I'm nakie an' you won' get outta ma face with dat spoon, why do _you_ think I'm grumpy?"

"…"

Currently, two Egyptians were in their kitchen and Malik had his chibified yami sitting on the table. Since Marik had been complaining about being 'nakie' all the way home and shivering, Malik felt really bad about it and then washed a few of his clothes in hot water and shrunk them so that little Marik would have something to wear.

So, he was in a small white t-shirt and blue-striped boxer shorts, both still warm from the dryer. After that, he tried to get into the fridge to eat watermelon, but Malik quickly snatched it away and claimed that he'd choke on a seed, so here they were, Malik spoon feeding Marik and Marik refusing it.

"Dwammit, I dwon't wan it! No!"

Malik growled, "Marik, I'm not so good at this mommy thing and you're making it harder than it needs to be!"

"… Mommy? You ain't my mommy an' you 'member it!" Marik snorted, turning his head away, "_Mommy_… yeah, wight."

"Oh shut up! I'm going to get you to eat, Marik, even if it kills us both!" Malik grabbed the spoon again, loaded with blended watermelon, oranges and something that Malik found under the table that _looked_ kind of fruity. He tried to shove it in the chibis mouth, but Marik screamed and jumped off the table, landing on his face.

Sobs were heard coming from the floor and Malik looked down to see his yami crying, tearing falling in a puddle all around him.

"Ah! Marik, are you okay?"

"I'm fwine…"

Before his hikari could pat him on the head, Marik growled, "Malik! Dwon't!"

"Oh, you know I can't help it! I mean look at you! You're so cute and small…"

"I am NWOT!"

"… Fine, then, you don't want to be cute? Then you're big and ugly!"

"… Dat's betta… I tink…"

Malik rolled his eyes and knelt down beside him but as he was about to pick him up, Marik scrambled away and hide under the table, shouting out, "You 'tay away frwom me, Malik! I mwean it! I dun wan' none of dat cuddly-wuddly 'tuff your twyin' ta pull! I ain't a baby an' I ain't gunna 'tay like dis!"

"But, Marik—"

"No!"

Malik pursed his lips together, his left eye twitching. Suddenly, he bent down, scooped Marik up and held him close to his chest, squeezing him, "Well, I'm bigger than you! You can't boss me around anymore Marik, and so when I say cuddle, dammit, I want to cuddle!"

"You ebil fiend!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Jus wait 'till tomorra! I'm gunna get you good and you'll be sowry!"

The hikari smiled wickedly, "C'mon, Marik. Let's go into the living room and… _CUDDLE_!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

"AH HA HA HA HA HA!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Yugi was walking up the sidewalk to the Kame Game Shop, his home and source of income. Little Yami was snuggled in the boy's arms, trying to get warm as he was naked in the out of doors, but the cold leather that Yugi was wearing did nothing but make him even colder. 

Yugi opened the door and looked around the shop, making sure the coast was clear. He didn't know what Grandpa would say if he saw Yami like this and so he figured he shouldn't tell the old man, for fear of making his pacemaker speed up.

So they tiptoed up the steps and reached the living room and just as it seemed they would make it into their room and be home free, Yugi's footsteps came to a halt as a hardy shout reached his ears.

"Hello, Yugi!"

"Guh… Um… H-Hi, Grandpa." He muttered, back turned to the elder man and he made sure Yami was almost out of sight.

Grandpa smiled, completely oblivious to what was going on and looked around, a bit confused, "Oh, where's Yami? You two did go over to Ryou's together, didn't you?"

"Um… Yeah. B-But Yami… uh, he wanted to stay and play videogames with Bakura and Marik."

"Pah! Yeah wight! I wouldn't pway, wit dem, Yugi…" Yami's small, spiky head popped out from Yugi's leather jacket and he scrunched up his face, looking at his stunned light with large eyes, "Dere mean…!"

"Yami, no!"

"Huh?" Grandpa blinked and, before Yugi could stuff him back in, Grandpa snatched the tiny boy away, taking a good look at him, "Good lord! Yugi! Were you _hiding_ this from me?"

Yugi hung his head in shame, "Y… Yes, Grandpa, I'm sorry."

"Shame on you! This is something that you tell people! I-I almost can't believe it! My grandson's mothered a lovechild and he didn't even tell me! Oh, what's the world coming to?"

"… Huh?"

"And you're so young, Yugi, you were supposed to wait until you got married, oh the shame!"

"G-Grandpa, wait—"

"You're such a filthy _slut_, Yugi!"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" He shouted, finally having enough of the name-calling and false accusations, "Grandpa, listen. That's _Yami_!"

Grandpa blinked, first at Yugi then at the chibi his was holding in his hands. He squinted, "Oh, hello there, Yami!"

"Hewo."

Yugi sighed and explained just what had happened over at Ryou's house. At first, Grandpa didn't really get it and was a bit confused as to how it all occurred, but when Yugi made it clear that it was just another stupid fight between the yamis, Grandpa smiled and nodded.

"Well, that's alright, Yugi, accidents happen. And it seems harmless enough, you three can figure out what to do tomorrow." He yawned, getting up from the couch, "I'm going to close up the shop and then go to bed, goodnight, Yugi! You too, Yami!"

"Goodnight, Grandpa." Yugi said and Yami muttered it quietly as he was collected by Yugi and they went down the hall, finally making it to their room.

When Yugi opened the door, he sighed at seeing all the dirty clothes on the floor from the week and set Yami down onto the floor amidst all the piles of clothes and he looked down, "You know, Yami, it _was_ your turn to clean our room today."

"…" Yami looked around and whined, looking up, "B-But, Yugi…"

"… I won't make you do it, though. For your size it'd take all night! … Oops. I guess you need something to wear, don't you?"

Yami nodded.

"Well…" Yugi craned his neck and then picked up a pair of his boxers off the floor, "Here you go!"

When he was handed the shorts, Yami frowned, "Dos are dirty…"

"But it's the best I can do…!" He sweatdropped.

Yami sighed and struggled with the garments to try and put them on, stumbling backwards and into a small pile of dirty clothes where he disappeared and Yugi laughed himself silly, not bothering to lend a hand to the chibi prince who was drowning in the soiled clothes.

Not a moment passed before Yami's head popped out, accompanied by another head, the next one furry and white, large brown eyes looking over at the chibified prince.

"Ooh, I woke 'im up, I'm sowry." Yami apologized to the kitty.

Yugi shook his head, "Little Fruitcake, you're not supposed to be sleeping in the dirty clothes! The last time you did that, Grandpa thought you were a sock and you came back, starched. Shoo."

The kitten rolled his eyes, getting out of the warm pile and hopping onto the chair in front of the desk. When he was out of the way and the two went back to their business, he thought to himself, 'Well, I wouldn't have _been_ starched if that old coot could tell the difference between a _cat_ and a sock with a _Duel Monster_ on it…'

Yugi had picked up his small yami who now had on the slightly large, slightly dirty underwear and he put him into bed. Yami turned over, trying to pull the shorts back up, "Yugi, I dun wike me wike dis…! I wanna go back to big!"

"I know you do, Yami, we'll do something about it tomorrow." He had to strain to stop himself from tee-heeing at Yami's new way of talking and the fact that he looked absolutely ridiculous in those shorts and the large puzzle that hung from his neck, which caused his head to droop.

Yami narrowed his eyes, "… Pwomise?"

"Yeah, of course! Now go to sleep, Yami, I have to call Ryou. Here, I'll take this off," Yugi said, while reliving him of his millennium puzzle and putting it on the nightstand.

"Tank'oo, Yugi. Remember, tomorra, we go back to big…"

"Yes, Yami, I remember."

Yugi got up from the side of the bed and Yami's eyes dropped down as he yawned and snuggled into the covers and Yugi literally shook, trying to keep from glomping him. He had been trying to at least leave Yami with _some_ self-respect, but it was hard when he looked so adorable. Taking one last look as Yami turned around, Yugi walked over to his desk, shooing Little Fruitcake away again who then made himself comfortable on the bed next to Yami, and Yugi picked up the phone, dialing Ryou's home number.

_Ring Ring Ring…_

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ryou, it's me."

"Oh, hi, Yugi! I have Malik on the other line; hold on for a sec while I get him into this."

"Okay."

A second later, the phone beeped and then both Ryou and Malik were on the line. They greeted each other but soon came to the topic they really wanted to discuss. Yugi was the first to bring it up.

"So, how are Marik and Bakura?"

Ryou sighed, "Oh, Bakura's fine. He's sleeping on the couch in the living room, can you believe it? He's keeping his distance from me because _he_ says that I won't stop holding and cuddling him! It's so horrible, I mean, can he really blame me? He's SO cute…"

Malik smirked into the phone, "I know! Which is why I strapped Marik to my bed!"

"…"

"…"

The lines were silent until Ryou said, "Um, Malik, he's like _three_ now, go easy."

"Ryou, you sicko, I strapped him there because he was trying to set me on fire for hugging him! But this way I can keep an eye on him and hug him any time I want. Ha."

"Well, Yami's doing fine. But he really wants to go back to normal tomorrow…"

Ryou sighed, "Yeah, Bakura does too. But… I mean… it used to be that Bakura almost_ never_ acted so… so adorable and it's just a shame to let him go back to being big and stubborn."

"… What's the difference now?"

"Well, he's _small_ and stubborn! And I can take care of him _more_ now! He acts like he can still take care of himself, but he needed help holding the game controller and everything, and he cries so easily now, it totally makes me squeal every time he bumps his head!"

Malik nodded, "Yeah, the whole idea of me being the one in charge is only too perfect, but what can we do about it?"

It was silent for a few seconds after that.

Yugi blinked and then gasped, "I know what you two are thinking…! You don't even _want _to change them back, do you?"

"Well, do _you_?"

Yugi looked at the phone for a moment, as if he was thinking. He turned around in the chair and saw Yami snoring lightly, his small arm draped over Little Fruitcake's tail. He yawned in his sleep and snuggled further under the covers until only a tuft of hair and a hand was seen.

Yugi almost died and held in a squeal, "… Um… No, I really don't…"

"Then what do we do?"

"… Go shopping for toddler-wear?"

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	3. Victoria's Got A Secret

Her Sweetness: Wow, sorry about that. I know I haven't updated, but you wouldn't believe the work load I'm carrying now, it's terrible. Sorry, I just had to get some stuff out of the way, but I'm still totally buried, forgive me.

Oh, and a small note… I know this chapter won't _seem_ like it's a part of the plot, but it is a HUGE part, so be on the lookout for small details. Goodluck…!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 3:

"YUGI! YUGI, YOU PWOMISED!"

The little pharaoh howled as he was carried down the street by his now bigger other half. It was around eleven o' clock in the morning and Yami had only woken up at ten. As soon as he did, Yugi assaulted him with hugs, kisses and a new set of clothes that Yami certainly did not approve of. Yami was wearing a little blue and white sailor's suit, complete with the little hat and a golden emblem on the left cuff that read 'S.S. Cutie-Pie'.

Yami looked up at his hikari again; his overly large eyes were red and glossy. "Y-Yugi…! How cwould you?"

"Oh, Yami… I'm sorry, believe me, but… well, we talked it over and—"

"We? We didn't dwo nothin', Yugi! You an' Ryou an' Malik conspwired against us! Dat was so mean, I won't forgwive you!"

Yugi sighed, his eyelids lowering as they stopped moving in the middle of the sidewalk. This wasn't fair to Yami or any of the others and Yugi knew it and for a brief moment of insanity, he'd allowed himself to be overcome with Yami's new form and had forgotten that he was a person. Not just some incredibly cute chibi to be cuddled and kissed at will.

"Yami, I-I… I'm sorry."

He blinked and sniffed, "S'okay, Yugi."

"… Sorry I didn't do this sooner!" He shouted, squeezing the life out of Yami and squealing in his small ear, thus resulting in Yami crying and sobbing all the way down the street.

It was about fifteen minutes later when Yugi arrived at the mall's parking lot, Yami all curled up in his arms. He'd ceased his tantrum about ten minutes ago and fell asleep in Yugi's arms, causing him to faint in the middle of the road and block traffic. They woke him up though and soon he was walking through the doors of the Sunset Mall.

Yami squinted at the rays of sunlight that were shining down on the mall's floors from the glass ceiling and walls. People were walking all around them, yelling, talking and carrying on.

Yugi looked down, "Oh, Yami, don't have such a sour look on your face."

"I can't hwelp it…"

"Yes, you can."

"No, I _cwan't_, Yugi. I dwon't _feel _wike smilwing. You betrayed me, and dat is unfo'givable."

"Aw, I didn't betray you, Yami; I just decided that you might have more fun in this new form. I mean, admit it, you do get a lot more coos from random strangers now, don't you?" Yugi gestured to a group of old ladies who were across the hallway and starring at Yami, stars in their old eyes.

"… You gwotta be kiddin'. Dey're old… I got bunches of looks when I was big."

"Yeah, you got looks from old bikers who wanted to chain you up and make you their love slave."

"…" Yami choose to ignore that comment and looked around. "W-Where're we goin'?"

"Hmm? Oh, we're meeting Ryou and Malik here!"

His eyes widened and he smiled brightly, "Oh, Yugi, you're da bestest!"

"… Um… Alright…"

"So you weally are changin' us bwack!"

"… No, no, we're not."

"…"

"Oh, there they are! Hi, guys!"

Yugi was immediately waving over his and Yami's heads to over in the center of the intersection of the mall. Ryou and Malik were standing in front of a water fountain with liquid drops raining down into the small pool where random change such as pennies and nickels were thrown.

As the spiky-haired teen walked up beside his friends, he didn't even get a chance to properly greet them before they attacked him and ripped Yami away, hugging and holding him.

"Oh my gosh, look at this, it's so adorable!"

"Tell me about it! Yugi, this is just too sweet for words! Yami's a sailor!"

"Wemme go…! Stwop, _pwease_…!"

Yugi's eye twitched. He was happy that they liked Yami's outfit, but Yami was _his_ chibi after all and _he_ was the only one permitted to touch him. So, after snatching his darker half back from the two, he asked politely, "_Where_ are Marik and Bakura?"

Ryou blinked then smiled, whirling around to present to Malik and Yugi a blue stroller with stars all over the top. He lifted the flap and revealed a small, sleeping form that was currently sporting a pink bunny suit, one of the ears covering half of his face and the color complementing the blush on his cheeks.

"I just had to get it for him." Ryou informed them as Yugi's eyes grew to twice their size, "He did put up quite a fight this morning when I tried to put it on him, though. Ha ha, good thing I had a tranquilizer!" He posed happily with a giant needle that was twice Bakura's size.

"Um… where exactly did you _put_ that tranquilizer…?" Yugi dared to ask.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" He began to giggle insanely, "Mwe he he he he he!"

"… Well, Ryou's lost it." Malik affirmed.

"Yeah… So, Malik, I trust you didn't tranquilize Marik, right…?"

"Ha! Didn't have to! He actually liked what I got him." Malik turned his back to his friend and, to Yugi's surprise; Marik was on his hikari's back, nestled in a baby carrier that was purple.

Malik reached back, undid Marik and set him on the ground. He was decked out in a small, white leather jacket and matching pants, a black leather shirt underneath it. Marik lowered his sunglasses and glared up at Yugi, "Wat da hell ya starrin' at?"

"… Wow."

"Isn't it adorable? I made it last night." Malik said proudly, "I made it especially for my little Marik!"

"… I'll smack ya, Malik, call me wittle one mwore time an' I swear ta Ra, I'll smack ya."

"AW!"

"Dwammit!"

"Ey, shwut up down dere." Bakura had awoken from his drug induced slumber and rubbed his eye at Marik who looked back up at him in the stroller and almost couldn't contain his laughter.

"… Wat?"

"Y-Ya twurned inta a bunny!"

"…?" Bakura looked down at himself and fell out of the stroller onto his head, but the bunny ears cushioned the blow. He scrambled up and was almost weeping, "I-I wam a bunny! R-Ryou, dat weirdo, did dis to me!"

"H-He sure did! Wah ha ha ha!"

Yami was set on the ground as well as his hikari and Ryou and Malik discussed something. He nodded towards Marik, shyly, "I-I wike your outifwit Marik…"

"… Oh yweah? Pheh, well I wike yours too, _Cutie-Pie_."

"Hey! I was twyin ta be nice to you!"

Marik rolled his large purple eyes, "I cwould do witout it, tanks."

Bakura was currently bawling on the floor and fighting with the offending bunny ears that he was tripping over and that were hitting him in the face. "N-Nah!"

Suddenly, a pair of hands adjusted the bunny ears and Bakura looked up through watery eyes at a blurry Ryou who smiled down at him and pinched his cheeks. "So cute."

"Listen, you guys." Yugi picked Yami up once again, "We've got shopping to do and we can't take you with us, so—"

"Why nwot!" Yami shouted.

"Because, Yami…" Yugi looked to his two friends whose yamis were asking the same questions and they were blushing and coughing. Yugi cleared his throat, "Because the store we're going to isn't for kids. You could get hurt …or scarred for life…"

"What we're trying to say is we'll only be gone for a while and we have someone to take care of you while we're away!" Malik cheerfully picked Marik up and they walked a little ways over and stopped in front of a merry-go-round.

Yami whined, "You're nwot gunna put us on dat ting, are you, Yugi…?"

"Well, I ain't goin'!" Bakura stated firmly before being placed on one of the horses.

Marik put up a small fight but Malik won and duct tapped his small butt to the porcelain horse's back. He and his friend threatened to skin their hikaris alive if they didn't stop this madness, but they just smiled and waved as the man who operated the machine started it up and the little animals began to go round and round.

Yugi smiled back at Yami as they walked away, though he had a small feeling of guilt. Yami had looked so sad and forlorn when they left him and Bakura and Marik just looked like they had been disrespected in the worst possible way.

He sighed and turned back around, catching up with Malik and Ryou as they walked passed the stores and passed the other shoppers.

Ryou held his head in his hands, "I can so not believe we're doing this again! We swore that the last time was the _last time_!"

"Oh, come on, Ryou, you know you want to." Malik rolled his eyes, nudging his friend, "And it's not like we do this all the time. It's okay once and a while. Right, Yugi? Yugi will tell you!"

"Actually, Malik…" Yugi twiddled his thumbs, "I-I got weird stares from the saleslady the last time we went in there…"

"… Yugi. Have you ever considered the fact that she was starring at you because you're hot?"

He blushed, "Um… N-No…"

"Well, then there you go."

"Ugh. Here we are…" Ryou pointed out when they arrived and stopped in front of the glass doorway of a pink shop with the words 'Victoria Secret' written in cursive and a dark haired woman with her slender finger to her lips which were curved into a seductive smirk.

"C'mon, boys." Malik motioned for them to follow suit when he entered the shop, not paying any attention to the other shopping women who gave the blonde Egyptian some glares and strange looks.

Ryou and Yugi hid their faces as they walked in and over to the back section where Malik was casually going through racks and stacks of dainty unmentionables.

Yugi whispered anxiously, "Malik… What's taking so long…?"

"I'm not done looking." He thought for a second and then turned around, searching another stand, "I don't think they have what I'm looking for…"

"Good then let's go!"

"In a minute!"

Without Ryou knowing, a saleslady had crept up behind him and had put her head over his shoulder which scarred the living daylights out of him.

"W-What are you doing?"

"What are _you_ doing? Are you a pervert?"

"N-No! I'm not, really!" He began to sweat, "I'm just here with my friend who's looking for something and I-I'm just waiting, honest!"

"… So, you're not perverts?"

"No, of course not!"

All of a sudden, Malik walked up to them, holding up a small see-through blue thong and asked the woman, "Do you have this in a smaller size?"

"Good heavens!" She exclaimed, glairing at them both, "What are you doing with those?"

Malik held it up to his waist and turned around, "I think it's too big… I have lost a lot of weight, so do you have a size 4 maybe? If not, I could get the red ones, but I look so much better in blue… What do you think, Ryou?"

"Oh! Um, blue definitely…"

The woman starred blankly into outer space before looking back to Malik and groaning. 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em…' She thought before nodding sympathetically, "Well, the blue does accentuate your curves… I'll see what we have."

"Yayness!"

Ryou sweatdropped, "W-While we're here… I might as well pick up something for myself… Um, something in pink, please…"

While Ryou and Malik were in the back with the saleswoman, Yugi had ventured to the west side of the store, casually looking at things that caught his eye and occasionally picking up something to check the price. He was now just leaning on the checkout counter until a familiar voice made him turn his head.

"Alright, alright! I'm _going_!"

Yugi blinked and looked up as a familiar, tall form came out of the back of the store followed by another salesgirl.

"… Kaiba?"

The brunette turned around, already glaring at Yugi, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I… Um, could ask you the same question…"

His face turned beet red but he fought it to the best of his abilities, "Nothing, nothing. I was here… just ordering some stuff for my company, nothing unusual."

"You were ordering _lingerie_ for Kaiba Corp?"

"… I-It's just too complex for your small mind!"

"… O… kay…"

The salesgirl finally came out from the back as she had lost track of Kaiba and was now in front, shooing him out of the store. Kaiba growled and walked out briskly and the salesgirl put her hands to her hips and sighed.

Yugi walked up to her, meekly, "Hey, um, was Kaiba really here ordering things for Kaiba Corp?"

"Kaiba? Who is that?" She turned to him for a second before blinking, "Oh! You mean that guy I just chased off? I dunno anything about Kaiba Corp, but that guy's _always_ in here _sniffing _our European styles!"

"…"

"Okay, we're ready to go, Yugi!" Came Malik's voice from behind the boy.

He turned around to see Ryou and Malik holding bags and smiling.

"You got your stuff?"

"Sure did! We'll show you _later_…" Ryou winked.

"Alrighty." He said, obviously not getting the underlying message. They started for the door and were soon back out into the mall, walking back to where they left their sweet chibis and the merry-go-round.

"Oh, I hope 'Kura is okay."

"Of course he's okay. We weren't even gone for as long as I thought we would be." Malik nodded to himself, "And he might be enjoying the merry-go-round. Bakura really likes horses."

"Yeah, _live_ horses."

As they walked on, Yugi turned to the side, casually looking in a bookstore display window. A little stand towards the side stood out with a rather large book set atop it, titled 'Classic Children's Tales' and colorful pictures all over the cover.

"Hey, Yugi, what're you doing over there?" Ryou asked, he and Malik about fifteen feet away from the boy.

"Um, just a minute."

* * *

Back at the merry-go-round in the mall's center, three young boys had been riding porcelain ponies for the past twenty minutes. The man who was operating it was getting annoyed though as Yami had thrown up on his favorite horse twice and he was the only one to clean it up. Marik and Bakura, meanwhile, had gotten the duct tape off of Marik and were now hopping from horse to horse, fighting each other with imaginary swords.

"Hah! Die, Bakura!" Marik shouted, holding his 'sword' and jumping onto another horse, following his 'arch nemesis'.

Bakura swung around the pole attached to the horse and dodged Marik's attack, "No way, Marwik, ya not gunna get me dat easawy!"

Marik followed him around the other horses until they landed on Yami's horse, doing battle around the sick pharaoh. Yami ducked as Bakura swung his sword over his head. He shouted, "Stwop! Ya gunna kill me!"

"If we shwould all be so wucky." Marik rolled his eyes and bonked Yami with his imaginary sword and turned back to Bakura who was currently 'getting away' on another horse in front of Yami's.

"Mwa ha ha!" Bakura's evil laugh was squeaky and high-pitched, "Long wive da King of Twieves!"

"Hurry, Yami, fawow him!" Marik gasped, pointing his sword forward.

Yami looked up at Marik innocently, "… But he ain't goin' no wheres."

"…" Marik bonked him again.

Suddenly the merry-go-round stopped and all three chibis looked to the side where the man had pulled the lever and was now taking them off the horses and setting them on the ground. "Sorry, kids, but I gotta clean up over here. Your moms are back."

They looked beyond his legs where Malik, Yugi and Ryou were standing with shopping bags and calling them.

Marik frowned, "Dat's not my mom!"

"Is dose bags from dat girly stwore?" Bakura asked casually, fixing his bunny ears.

"… No… Malik cwouldn't of gone in _dere_!" Marik's facial expression was that of pure terror. "M-My hikawi's a girl!"

"_Dat _was obious."

Yami waddled over to Yugi, looking at him suspiciously, "Yugi… where'd you gwo? Girly stwore?"

"Um… no… I-I got something for you!" He sweatdropped and held up a white bag with the words 'Barnes&Noble' on the front.

Yami nodded cautiously, "'Kay."

Marik tilted his head at his hikari and asked, "Dwid ya get stuff for me, Malik?"

"… Well… Um… If you want one, you can have it, but I doubt you will."

Before Bakura could even ask, Ryou said the same thing to him. He turned to Yugi and Malik and asked, "So, are we ready to go?"

"Yeah, I—"

Just as Yugi was talking, a small boy with long black hair went running by with a pair of purple, French-laced underwear on his head. A taller, brown-haired teen ran after the boy, shouting, "Mokuba, get those damned things off your head!"

Everyone sweatdropped.

* * *

**_TBC..._**


	4. Oh, To Be Young And Tainted

Her Sweetness: Woot. So sorryI'm late, really,but better late than never right? Right?

…

Oh, hush.

LOL, enjoy.

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 4:

It was rather peaceful as the hikaris and yamis exited the Sunset Mall and ventured out into the early evening air. They didn't leave right away because Kaiba had enlisted Yugi, Ryou and Malik to help him catch his younger brother. It seemed that Mokuba was on a sugar high and all those European styles had gotten to him so he raced off with a pair of his favorites and wreaked havoc upon the mall for about five minutes.

That is, until they tackled him viciously and wrestled away the lovely undergarments. Kaiba paid for them and off they went, into their limo with ten rather large shopping bags.

Now the boys were walking down the street peacefully, happily talking amongst themselves. The yamis, however, weren't content riding in strollers, in baby carriers and in arms and so they fought with all their might and their hikaris frowned but let them walk on their own if they _promised_ not to run away.

"So…" Yugi eyed his friends and their Victoria Secret bags, "What'd you guys get anyway? I know Malik went in there to get some more underwear 'cause all his got stolen in a panty-raid last week… But you _did_ only get the nessesscery stuff, right?"

Malik coughed, jiggling his bag, "Well, yeah, I got the basic stuff… but, you know Yugi, I got some fun stuff too…"

"Fun?"

"Heh heh… Yup."

Yugi looked at him disapprovingly.

"… Oh, come on! You can't expect me to wear granny panties like you do. A guy's gotta have some adventure!"

"I-I do not wear granny panties, these happen to be boxers!"

Ryou nodded thoughtfully, "I wore boxers once. Horrible things. My stuff always slipped out of them."

"…"

"…"

"… _That_ was some useful information." Yugi rolled his eyes.

"You really should try to keep that kind of thing to yourself, Ryou…" Malik bushed, motioning towards the three chibis walking just a footstep in front of them. They were talking with each other and didn't even notice Ryou's remark, but Malik continued on, "We don't want them to grow up to be… tainted."

"Oh, you're right."

"Hey, wait a minute." Yugi interjected, "That reminds me… Do you think they'll have to _grow up_ all over again? Like, from now till the age where we met them?"

All three chibis stopped their conversation and their ears perked up, as they eavesdropped on their hikaris' conversation.

Ryou gasped, "Wow, I never thought of that! Yugi! For you and I, that'll be like five millennia from now!"

"Uh-huh… Heh." Yugi smirked and raised an eyebrow at the blonde Egyptian who was on the other side of Ryou, "But for Malik, it'll only be like six years."

Malik turned red in the face.

"Oh, that's true. Marik will be totally tiny for like five years and then, like, one day he'll just shoot up! It'll be hilarious!" He and Yugi broke out into hysterics and steam could be seen, jetting from Malik's ears as he balled his fists.

"T-That isn't funny!"

Ryou snickered, "I guess those are the perks of a cradle-robber."

"Too true."

Malik shouted, "Don't you two start that again!"

They both grinned and chanted, "Cradle-robber, cradle-robber, you are just a baby-topper! Ha ha ha ha!"

As Malik proceeded to lunge at the two, arms outstretched like claws, all three of them fell onto the grass of a nearby lawn and knocked over an old lady's pink flamingoes. She came out and began viciously beating them with her heating pad, which was hard. Just like her arteries.

Bakura looked back and shook his head in shame, "Dat's jus sad."

"Oh? Wook who's talkin', the giant bunny."

"Watch it Mawik, I can 'till kick butt!"

Yami came in between the two and laid a hand on each of their shoulders, "Now now, gwuys, dwon't fight."

Marik nonchalantly brushed his hand away and readjusted his sunglasses, "Dwon't touch me, Cutie-Pie."

"… Y-You weally tink I'm cute, Mawik?" Yami's amethyst eyes became large and glossy as he almost floated off the ground.

"… No. I tink yo're ugwy. But dat's okay, it's not yo're fawlt."

Bakura chuckled as a shadow passed over Yami's face.

"Awight, stwop horsin' awound you guys." The Egyptian put his hands on his hips and thought for a second before continuing, "I dun know 'bout you but I'm twired of bein' small! An' I want somethin' done 'bout it!"

Yami blinked, then looked down at his sailor suit and sighed, "Yweah… I know what cha mean. Swince I been small, da cuddlin has incweased tenfold. It neva stwops…"

"Kay. But can we do 'bout it? I asked Ryou and he won't chwange me bwack."

"An' we cwan't use our miwennium items, either. Yugi twook mine, wat bout you guys?"

"Uh-huh. Dwammed hikawi." Marik reached behind his pants and held out a shiny, golden rattle with an Egyptian eye on the front. It resembled the millennium rod, but when Marik shook it, it sounded as if beads were inside. "It's degwading!"

"Wes jus gonna haft ta do somethin' bout this if dey don't."

Yami looked back at their hikaris who were now getting up and getting away from that mean old lady. As they came over, mumbling amongst themselves, they each picked up their respective yamis and began going their separate ways, Yami whispered to the other two.

"I'll twy an' figure somethin' out!" He said with confidence.

Bakura and Marik looked at each other, "… We're dwoomed!"

"Shwut up!"

That was the last they saw of each other as their hikaris went down different ways and each boy was pouting and whining because they were cuddled all the way to their homes. When Yami and Yugi entered the Game Shop, Yugi began to go up the stairs with Yami in his arms, but just before his foot hit the first step, Grandpa jumped out from behind the banister and landed in front of the two, scarring them half to death.

"AHA!" He shouted, gleefully.

Yugi was on the floor, eye's wide and red and Yami was clutching onto his hikari's shirt, crying. Yugi shouted, "Grandpa! What the heck?"

"There you are, my beloved grandson! And oh? Who do we have here? It's Yami! My new _great_ grandson! You'll be like the child I never had, won't you?" He ran over and took Yami who wasn't crying anymore but still confused and blinking cutely.

Yami tilted his head, "Wat'cha talkin' 'bout?"

"AW! Look at that face!" Grandpa pulled out a bunch of things from his large overall pockets, one of which was a baseball cap that he forced down on the chibi's head. "There! Ha! You'll see, Yami, we'll do all the stuff me and Yugi never did! Go to baseball games, scope out hot babes at the beach and watch ESPN!"

"Grandpa, give Yami back to me!"

"No, you can't have him!" He began to cry, "Yugi, I always wanted a son!"

"What about me?"

"Oh you were never sonish. You didn't do anything, all you did was pay with cards all day long and then watch Barney and that was never fun! Yami's mine!"

Yami busted out into tears again.

"NO!" Yugi flew into the air and high kicked his grandfather in the face, causing him to going stumbling back and dropping Yami who was then caught in midair by Yugi. He blew a raspberry at his bleeding grandfather on the floor, writhing in agony and ran up the stairs with Yami under his arm.

It didn't take Grandpa a long time to recover as he had been through a lot over the years and so he got up with great speed and ran after his grandson and great grandson. Yugi, however, shut the door to his room and locked it before Grandpa could storm in and he ran smack into the door.

"Yugi! Yugi, let me in there!" He banged on the door.

"Grandpa, stop that! Go away, Yami will see you in the morning!"

"You're the worst grandson I ever had…!"

"I'm the _only_ grandson you ever had!"

There was no more after that and it sounded as if Grandpa had ventured down the stairs, sobbing. But Yugi, smart as he was, didn't take any chances and kept the door locked and set Yami down on the floor.

He sighed and plopped down in his chair by the computer, "Ah… what a day…"

Yami was on the floor, taking off his baseball cap and his sailor hat, throwing it in a pile with Yugi's dirty clothes. Out of the pile came a little ball of white fur that bounded up and knocked Yami over with licks and snuggles.

"Eek…! W-Wittle Fwuitcake, cwut it out!"

Little Fruitcake stopped and looked at him, 'It's _Little Fruitcake_. Just because you're all small now doesn't mean you have to mispronounce my name. C'mon, say it. Little Fruitcake.'

"W-Wittle—"

'Little!'

"Wittle… I-I can't say it!" Yami cried and rubbed the kitty's head, "I'm sowry…"

Yugi's ears perked up as he raised an eyebrow, "Yami? Who are you talking to?"

"Aw… Yugi, Wittle Fwuitcake's mad cause I cwan't say his name…"

"… Heh heh. That's so cute, Yami, but Little Fruitcake doesn't even know what you're saying. He's a cat and he's not all that bright."

'HEY!'

Yami shook his head, frantically, "N-No, it's twue! He said!"

"… Okay, Yami, whatever you say." He smiled and picked his yami up and took off his sailor suit and put him in the bed, "You should go to sleep, Yami, it's getting kinda late."

"Bwut I'm not tired! I dwon't wanna go to sleep…" He whined, seemingly on the verge of tears, "D-Dwon't make me, Yugi…"

Little Fruitcake shook his head and hopped up on the bed with Yami, snuggling under his arm, 'You're such a baby…'

Yugi's eyes were big and glistening as he squealed, "Aw, Yami! You're so cute…! You don't have to go to bed if you don't want to."

'… But apparently you know how to get what you want.'

"Hmm… Oh, I know! Hey, Yami, do you want to see what I got for you at Barnes&Noble? You'll like it, I swear."

Yami nodded.

He went to his desk and opened the shopping bag that had the Barnes&Noble logo on the front. After shifting through it, he brought out that same large book that was in the display window. He hopped on the bed, shooing Little Fruitcake out of the way, and opened it up to the table of contents.

"See, it's a book full of stories for kids."

Yami pouted and growled under his breath, "I'm five twousand years owld… I'm nwot a kid…"

"Oh, c'mon. You're really small, you talk funny and your eyes are huge, that falls under the definition of a kid." Yugi patted him on the head, "But you're a cute kid, Yami. Okay… which one do you want me to read to you first? Um, there's Mary Had A Little Lamb…"

"Wead it."

"… The Boy Who Cried Wolf?"

"Nwope."

"How about Little Red Riding Hood?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Yami, you're being stubborn! Fine, I'll just pick one, that way you won't have a chance to say no." Yugi flipped through the book and came to an interesting story that he stopped on, "Alright, this one'll do."

"… Wat's it called?"

"The Magic Wish." He said and cleared his voice, "Um… Once upon a time, in a country called New Zealand, there was a little boy named Taro. Taro was a happy little boy who lived in a cottage with his mother and father. One day, Taro's father caught Taro in his room with his special magazines and… Oh Ra! There's pictures!" Yugi blushed and closed the book before Yami had a chance to realize what those dirty photographs were, "Um, Yami, maybe we should find another story…"

"Nuh-uh, Yugi, I wanna see where dis one gwoes!" He persisted, looking up at his hikari and pouting.

"… Oh, fine… W-We'll just skip those pictures…" He flipped through some more, looking down and flipping again until it seemed the rest of the story was back, "Okay… Um, Taro's parents were so displeased with Taro for stealing those magazines that they threw him in a sack, drove down to the dam and… tossed him… off… What the hell kind of children's book is this? It's violent!"

"Stwop stwopping!"

"… A-After careening down a raging river of death, Taro survived and washed up on a beach. He appeared unharmed as he popped out of the sack and explored the island, looking for anyone who could help him and also for more of those magazines…" Yugi skipped the pictures again, "Though he found no magazines and no people, he did find a small spring in the center of the island which is gratefully drank from. Little did he know that a lemur had peed in that spring and lemur pee is poisonous.

"Taro was on the verge of death, but as he lay by the spring, weak from lemur pee, a bright light shone all across the island. He managed to lift his head and witness a great, white wizard who was dressed in a black corset and fishnet stockings… and had a whip in his hand…" Yugi sighed, flipping threw more obscene pictures, "He told Taro that he was the magical Wizard of Suggestiveness and that he would grant the boy one wish because he thought… the boy was hot…

"Um, Taro closed his eyes and thought for a moment. He knew he was about to die and so wishing for life would've been a good idea. But he just couldn't get his father's magazines out of his mind, so he wished for more magazines. They were granted and two minutes later he died. The end." Yugi blinked at his yami and his yami blinked up at him. Yugi scrolled down the page, using his finger and read, "The moral of the story. Don't get involved with porn, it'll kill ya."

Yami nodded slowly, "Wow…"

"I-I'm sorry you had to see all that Yami, I'll take this book back tomorrow."

"No, wait, Yugi!" He cried and snatched the book away from his light, tucking it under his arm, "I wike it, I wanna keep it. Pwease?"

"… O… kay…"

Yami smiled as Yugi turned off the lights.

* * *

"I gots an idea!"

Yami shouted giddily to his companions. It was the next day and the sun was shining brighter than ever which was why the hikaris thought it would be a great idea to take their adorable little yamis to the park. Although the three little ones objected at first, they decided going out would be better than being cooped up in the house. So they ended up going willingly until they saw what would become of them. They were trapped in a playpen that the hikaris set down for them so they couldn't escape.

Today, though, at least they were each in normal clothes, meaning small jeans and a small t-shirt. Malik and Ryou were the first to arrive and so Marik and Bakura were sitting in their playpen, quietly doodling in a coloring book in one corner of the pen.

When Yugi dropped Yami off, they looked over to where he stood and that's when he shouted his statement.

They looked at each other and went back to doodling.

"… Dwidn't ya hear me? I said I gots an idea!"

"'Bout what?" Bakura asked, using a yellow crayon to color in a puppy.

Yami looked around, making sure the hikaris were distracted by each other, not able to hear anything he said. He tiptoed up to Marik and Bakura and showed them what he'd been hiding behind his back, a large, blue book with the title 'Classic Children's Tales'.

"Dis is wat we're gonna use!"

"… A stwupid ol' book?" Marik looked up.

"Yes!"

"… Stwop bein' dumb, Yami, you dwon't make no sense."

"Grr!" He frowned and shoved the book in the boys' faces as they dropped their crayons. "See? Yugi wead dis stowy to me wast night and it had dis Wizard! And he gwave dis boy, Tawo, a magic wish! I bet we cwould ask him to gwive us a wish, too! To chwange us back to big!"

"…"

"…"

"Swo," Yami blinked and lowered the book, "Um, wat chu tink?"

"I tink yo're dwumb."

"I tink yo're cwazy."

They looked at each other and nodded in unison before going back to coloring, "Gwo die."

"Yo're bwoth cwuel an' unusual! I hope somethin' bad happens to ya!"

Bakura stopped his coloring and grinned at Marik who had an identical look on his face, "Mawik?"

"Yweah, 'Kura?"

"Shwall we?"

"Totawy, you get his arwms an' I'll gwab his wegs!"

"No, wait a minute!"

As a bunch of commotion started in the playpen, Malik happened to be walking by, on his way back from the snack machines. He looked down into it and gasped, dropping the chips and sodas. "Marik! Bakura! Stop that!"

Marik was holding down the young pharaoh's legs and Bakura was straddling his torso, holding down his arms above his head with one of his hands and smacking him in the face with the other.

Bakura stopped suddenly and looked up at Malik, innocently, "We ain't doin' nothing, Malik… Jus playin'…"

Marik nodded, his large purple eyes melting his hikari's heart. "Yweah, Malik, wes jus playin' with our good fwiend Yami…"

"Aw! Okay, then, have fun!"

He walked off, smiling and Yami weakly called out, "D-Dwon't weave me…!"

Marik growled, "Swap 'em harder, 'Kura, I tink he's still breathin'!"

"Ra save me…"

* * *

_**TBC…**_


	5. Moving Right Along

Her Sweetness: Hello, hello. Sorry about the late update but midterm exams are coming up! Heh heh, oh yeah, I am _so_ gonna get A and B honor roll again! Yay, cheer everyone!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 5:

As both Marik and Bakura continued to beat the living crap out of their 'friend', the pharaoh, the rest of the park was rather peaceful. Except for the shooting going on by the picnic tables. And the robbers kicking old ladies behind the latrines. And the dogs peeing on city monuments… Besides all of that, the rest of the park was rather peaceful.

About ten feet in front of the chibi yamis' playpen, was a spot on the grass that three teenage hikaris were laying in, all laying down next to each other and looking up at the sky. Malik had just returned from the vending machines with sodas and chips and when he got back and gave Ryou what he wanted, both Yugi and Malik looked at him strangely as he sipped his Diet Sprite.

"… Ryou, why in the world are you drinking diet?" Yugi asked, looking away from the sky temporarily.

He didn't stop sipping, "Because it has no sugar and half as many carbs."

Yugi quirked an eyebrow towards Malik who shrugged in return, "Don't worry about it, Yugi. Ryou has this weird idea in his head that he's fat. _Even though _he's one of the skinniest people I've ever met."

Ryou sighed, "How many times must I tell you, I don't think I'm fat. I'm trying to keep myself away from the edge and that's very hard to do! You may not know this, but I have a slow metabolism…"

"I don't." Yugi smiled and took another large gulp of Coke, "I could eat forever and never gain a pound."

"Well, aren't you lucky." Ryou sneered and sighed to Malik, "Not me… One little dessert and the next thing I know, my panties are cutting off my circulation so bad, my feet turn blue! It's a real problem!"

"Oh, Ryou, c'mon! What do you see when you look in the mirror, huh? I see a pale, skinny, British boy who's bent on making himself skinnier. Here." He shoved his Coke into the boy's hand and then forced it up to his lips, "You need to drink this!"

"No! Malik, you'll ruin my diet!"

"Drink it, dammit!"

Malik swatted at the teen's hands and made him take a big gulp while Yugi was laughing his head off. When Malik took the can away, Ryou took in five fresh breaths of air. Malik grinned, "See, Ryou? That wasn't so bad. I don't see any fat on you."

"You could've killed me!" He started to panic and look all over his body, searching for any pudge or bulge; in less than a second, he screamed, having found the so-called fat deposit. "Oh my gosh, Malik, I will never forgive you! Look at that! Just one sip and look what's happened to my body!"

Yugi had fallen over, laughing and banging his fists into the ground. It seemed that, in Ryou's search for fat, he'd mistakenly been pointing vigorously to his groin.

Malik blushed, turning around, "I… I'm not so sure you wanna get rid of _that_ right away, Ryou…"

"…?"

…

* * *

Back over in the pen, Marik and Bakura had just gotten off Yami, sure now that the young pharaoh was dead and they happily rejoiced. He lay there, motionless, and clutching his large book in his small hand while the other two yamis stood next to him, shaking hands.

"We finawy did it!" Bakura jumped up happily.

Marik scowled, "Twook us wong enough… But at weast it's all done. You know, we shwould make a gwuide for oders who wanna kill dumb ol' phawohs."

"Ooh, yeah. How at Kill da Phawoh. By 'Kura and Mawik."

"How cwome yo' name gwoes first?"

He grinned, striking a pose, "'Cause I'm hottest."

"Dat's a wie!"

"Ohhh…" Suddenly Marik and Bakura stopped their argument and looked down on the floor where the moan had come from. It seemed that Yami had recovered from his death and was now getting up, holding his head, "W-Wat happened…"

"Dwamn, he wived!"

"Dat's your fawlt, 'Kura, ya didn't swap 'em hard 'nough!"

"Lemme twy again."

"NO!" Yami called out, backing away, his book shielding him from whatever the two might try to pull, "C-C'mon, you guys, stwop it! Can't cha jus hear me out? Why ya gotta be so mean ta me?"

"'Cause you make me mwad!" Marik shouted, grabbing Yami by his hair and was about to throw him out of the playpen, but when he tried to pick him up, Yami was only lifted to just above Marik's spiky hair before his small arms gave way and Yami fell on top of him.

Bakura snickered and tee-heed as Marik kicked Yami off of him, "W-Wat happened! Why cwouldn't I pwick you up?"

"'Cause your wittle." Yami said, matter-of-factly, then grinned, "An' dat means I have a betta chance of suvivin' yous guys!"

Bakura's eyes were wide as he looked to his friend, "We… can't kwill da pharow?"

Marik blinked, "Dis is wike hell…"

Yami nodded, consolingly, and walked timidly over to them, "Well… I do gots a pwan if ya wants ta twy it… I weally tink dis Wizard can hewp us, but cha gotta bewieve me when I tells ya somethin', not twy ta kwill me!"

"Bwut he's fwake!" Bakura shouted, "Dat's a wittle kid's book, dey make up stuff so stupid peoples can bewieve it! Namewy you, Yami."

"Dat's not true 'Kura! Lot's of stuffies in here is weal… Wike New Zeawand! An' wemurs! An' pee!"

"…" Bakura whispered to Marik, "I dwon't tink pee weally is real…"

After a few odd looks to the albino, Marik groaned, "… Oh, fwine! I'd dwo anyting to go bwack ta big an' get Malik to stwop cuddiwin me… Wat we gonna do, Yami?"

He smiled, happily and whispered, "I gots a pwan…"

* * *

About thirty minutes later, the sun had moved a little more to the west, as it was around two o' clock. It was once actually pretty windy, but now it was a bit warmer and the hikaris had taken off their shirts to make it a little cooler. (Or hotter, depending on your point of view.)

Yugi had been looking up into the clouds for a while, while all three of them were thinking about what they looked like. It had just been Malik's turn and then it shifted to Yugi again. He squinted, "Um, I think that one looks like a cotton ball."

Both Ryou and Malik looked at him, skeptically and lifted their heads. Ryou laughed a little, "Yugi, can't you be more creative? All clouds kinda look like cotton, but this is about opening your mind. For instance… I think that one looks like Mother Teresa bathing, naked, in a pool of honey."

"…"

"…"

It was quiet for a moment before Malik cleared his throat, "Moving right along…"

Yugi looked back up to the sky then sighed and his eyes flickered to both his friends' chests. He thought for a moment before turning, slightly, "… Why do men have nipples?"

"…" Malik was the first to look up. He blinked then looked at his own chest, blinking again, "… G-Gee, I don't know."

"Maybe it's because God has a sense of humor." Ryou offered, trying to tear his eyes away from his own nipples.

Yugi nodded slowly, "Or maybe it's because we were once girls."

"…"

"…"

Malik got up from his resting spot and put his shirt on, "This is getting a little weird, I think we should take a break from nipple-talk… I'm going to take Marik home before he gets a chance to question _his_ masculinity."

Ryou and Yugi nodded that they would do the same thing since they thought hearing their kind of talk would do nothing but damage their growing yamis' intellect. And on their way home, Ryou and Yugi quietly continued their philosophy on the origin of nipples, but Malik shushed them when Marik looked back at them and then looked into his own shirt.

They parted ways on their street and before they knew it, Ryou and Bakura arrived home. Ryou went up the driveway with his little Bakura in his arms and as soon as he opened the door, his yami jumped out of his grip and ran up the stairs. Ryou blinked and followed him, "'Kura? Hey, 'Kura where're you going?"

He didn't receive an answer and Ryou continued to go up the stairs until he reached the second floor and peeked his head inside his bedroom where little sounds of frustration were coming from. He tilted his head to the side when he witnessed Bakura opening his drawers and looking under the bed feverishly for something, throwing random items out of the way.

"W-Where is it…" He mumbled to himself.

Ryou stepped into the room and tip-toed all the way across until he was right behind Bakura and knelt down on his knees, silently watching him.

Bakura growled and turned around, screaming and hiding when he'd seen his hikari right behind him. In a second, his head popped out from under the bed, an annoyed look on his face, "Wat ya twyin' ta do, Ryou! Gimme a heart-attwack?"

"What are you looking for, 'Kura? Your blankie?"

"N-No!" He blushed, "Jus fowget it, Ryou, I cwan do it myself."

"But I wanna help!"

"An' I swaid _no_, dwammit!"

After a second of starring, watery-eyed at his pint-sized yami, Ryou broke out into tears and ran out of the room, "M-My adorable yami is cruel and mean and he _HATES_ me!" He screeched.

Bakura rolled his eyes, mumbling, "I dun hwate you _dat_ much…" And he turned back to his search.

* * *

It was around midnight in the town of Domino and everyone who wasn't dealing drugs or robbing a bank was tucked safely in their bed and sleeping soundly. The grass on lawns were wet with the dew of the day soon to come and streetlights flickered in the darkness of the night.

On Sphincter Ave in East Domino, everything was as it should've been. Or would've been if not for a small, child-like person who was currently trapped in his bed. Moon rays were streaming through the blinds and slipped onto the bed in lines across the two that occupied the bed's faces. One was snoring lightly and quietly with one arm securely wrapped around the other, smaller one who was fighting silently against the leather straps that bound him to the mattress. He growled under his breath when his efforts weren't working.

Marik looked up at his hikari's sleeping, angelic face. He sneered, 'Angel my fwoot! Wat kinda angel stwaps a kid to a bed swo he can't gwet away? A swick one!'

It was then that he noticed a small buckle to the left of his head and grinned, reaching out for it with his stubby little arm. After a second or two of stretching and whining, he touched it and that was all it took for the thing to unlatch and the straps popped off of the young yami as he wiggled from under Malik's arm and slowly slithered down the bed sheets. When his two feet touched the carpet, Malik muttered something and turned over the other way.

He got up on the chair by the desk and opened the window as quietly as possible. When it was open and he was halfway out, he looked back at Malik's snoozing form and smirked, 'Stwupid hikari. Jus you wait, I'm gonna come bwack wike normal an' den I'll make ya neva wanna cuddle _me_ again! Muahahaha—'

His evil laughter ceased when he fell off the sill and into a bush.

"Ow…"

About ten minutes later, after Marik had gotten himself untangled from the bush and picked out all of the twigs from out of his hair, he had made sure no adults or any policemen were out in the street before he went waddling to the middle of the street. Under a streetlamp on the other side were two small forms with spiky hair.

Marik soon made his way over to the two forms who, under the light, were revealed to be a small Bakura and a miniature Yami who turned to their accomplice with relief.

Bakura shook his head, "Where were ya, Mawik? Wes was beginin' ta tink you was chickin' out er somethin."

"Fo your information, Malik had me stwapped to his bed!"

"…"

"…"

They looked at each other, "Ra, Malik is weally kinky…"

"It wasn't wike dat! 'Kura! Did ya bring wat I asked ya to?"

Bakura blinked then nodded evilly, reaching into his pants and pulling out a book of matches, "Yup. Dis is da good kind, too, not dat chweap stuff."

Yami looked back and forth at the two as they giggled maliciously, "Wat da matches for?"

Marik rolled his eyes, "Hewo? We're wittle, now, Yami! We cwan't jus kwill peoples wit our bare hands no more."

Bakura whispered, "Yami cwouldn't even dwo dat when he was big."

"Hey! …" He pouted and sighed, "Oh, fwine, I dun care. Jus dwon't do anythin wit 'em. Anyways, I bwought da book an' everythin so we need ta get goin' afore our hikawis nwotice we're gone."

He started walking down the street, his small sneakers making a bit of an echo. Bakura tilted his head as he and Marik caught up, "Where're we goin?"

"New Zeawand." He said casually.

* * *

_**TBC…**_


	6. About As Bad Ass As I Can Get

Her Sweetness: Yeah… Bad, bad girl… I know… I am so sorry, I know I haven't updated this in two weeks, but I was distracted!

T.T

Ya gotta believe me! Wah...!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 6:

It was only 10 minutes after leaving their street that the three traveling chibis were beginning to lose heart. The night still surrounded them and, on occasion, vans full of necking teenagers passed by. Most of them mistook the chibis for badgers and threw broken beer bottles at the boys. Of course, what with them being so small, the bottles didn't really hit… They only hit the pavement, broke, shattered into a million pieces and one large, brown shard planted itself in Yami's bangs. He now resembled a unicorn that flew down from the Bud Light factories.

"Dis ting hurts…" Yami pouted, looking up at his horn as they traveled southwards on the sidewalk.

Marik looked at him and carefully tapped the shard. It jiggled when moved, but it didn't leave it's position, "Ah, dun worry 'bout it. I dun tink it's gunna come out wit all dat hair gel ya rub in. Weave it. If worse comes ta worse an we gets in twouble, you can jus poke da bad guys!"

Both Marik and Bakura busted out into a fit of giggles and Yami frowned, holding his large and heavy children's book to his chest, "Stwop waughin'! I mean it!" When they didn't cease, Yami's amethyst eyes watered up, "C'mon! We gotta keep goin'! We can't waste no mwore twime!"

Sighing and pushing his diapered butt from the cold ground, Bakura groaned, "Jeez, Phawoh, stwop bein' such a pwarty pooper."

"I am nwot a pwarty pooper!"

"Are too!"

"Shwut up!" Yami reared back and bashed Bakura in the head, thus resulting in a bleeding chibi on account of that half broken beer bottle lodged in his head. Bakura fell down on the ground howling and yelping.

Marik blinked, "Ookay… _Someone _nweeds ta calm down…"

"Wah! I'm sorwy!" Yami gasped, realizing what he had done and hurried to help Bakura up, but got a smack in the face for it. Bakura stood up and wiped the dirt off of the designer label toddler's tee that Ryou had gotten him.

"I dun nweed hewp. Wet's go." He started walking at a fast pace and left both Yami and Marik under the street light until, five steps later, he slowed down and turned around. He walked back quickly and slapped Yami across the face.

"AH! W-Wat was dat for!" He yelped, holding onto his face with both small hands.

"You dwidn't saw where we was goin'!"

"To New Zewand! I said dat!"

Marik rolled his eyes, walking next to his buddy, "So wat, ya 'spect us ta jus fwy dere?"

"Yea." Yami nodded seriously.

"…"

"…"

They both smacked him and he fell down, producing an 'oomph' as they scolded him some more. Bakura frowned, "Ya weally dumb if ya tink, jus cause we're wittle, dat we can fwy!"

"D-Dat's not what I meant! Weally! I meant we could go to da airport and get on a pwane and go dere dat way! Unwess yous guys got a betta idea 'bout gettin dere. If dats da case, den I'll gwadwy wisten to yas." The young prince smiled and felt quite superior as the other two wore a rather dumb look on their faces as they nodded to each other.

Marik cleared his throat after consulting his confidant, "Awight. We, da membas of da Bad Ass Society, are willin' to cooparate wit chas."

"Dat is…" Bakura added, "Onwy if yas join us an' do wat _we_ says. Dat means no mwore of your suckin' up ta hikawis an' no mwore of dat dumb ting you do!"

"W-Wat dumb ting?"

"Talkin'. Ya gotta stwop dat."

Marik nodded to the smaller yami who looked at them both incredulously, "He's wight, y'know. Wheneva ya say something', stupid stuff floats inta da air an dat jus can't be good for da Ozone."

"So, if ya agwee to our demands, we'll let yas join da Bad Ass Society!"

"Um… K-Kay…"

Yami blinked as both Marik and Bakura spit on their hands and stuck them out to shake. The Pharaoh scrunched his nose up but timidly licked the palm of his hand and shook theirs. He smiled after wiping his hand on his pant leg feverishly, "I-I'm so gwad we're fwiends!"

"Nobudy said nutin' 'bout no fwiends! So shut up afore we banish ya!"

"Meep!"

The albino toddler smirked and looked out into the street that was being used by a few late night partiers who hooted and mooned them as they drove by. He turned back to his partners, "I ain't walkin to da airport… My feeties are hurtin'. Les catch a wide wit one of dem."

"Dat's a good idea." Marik nodded, "My feeties are kinda hurtin' too."

Yami knitted his eyebrows, "Why would total stwangers wanna give t'ree kids a wide?"

"Wule numbah one of da Bad Ass Society, Yami. Tink outside of da box. Wes ain't gunna ask dem for a wide. Wes gunna 'catch' a wide."

"… I dun get it."

Bakura groaned out in aggravation and turned to Marik, "I-I can't work wit dis kid!"

He nodded sympathetically as Bakura threw his arm over his eyes dramatically. Marik took over and smacked Yami on the back of the head for his ignorance. After a large whine, Yami looked back up tearfully as Marik commanded that the boy pay attention to his and Bakura's upcoming lesson.

As if right on cue, a blue Toyota came bopping down the road, heading towards the same direction that the chibis once were. Both of the slightly taller boys were grinning from ear to ear and waited on their tiptoes on the curb as the truck got closer and closer. Yami watched them with befuddlement on his face until the truck was finally about ten feet away and both Marik and Bakura ran out into the road. A second passed, lights flashed and when the Toyota zoomed by and Yami's companions were no where to be seen, he immediately panicked.

"Oh Ra! K-Kura! Marik! Where are yas?"

"Over here, ya dummy!"

Yami blinked and looked to the left where he saw the boys waving at him from the back of the truck. He smiled and waved back calmly, "Oh, heya, guys! Watcha doin' over dere?"

Marik rolled his eyes, "Ya idiot, get ya royal butt ova here!"

"… Oh! Oh, yea! I-I'm comin'!"

In the back of that blue Toyota, the chibified yamis looked on and snickered as Yami ran to catch up, though his chubby and small legs weren't helping much. Lucky for him, though, that the truck stopped just ten feet later at a stoplight that prevented this side's traffic flow. The young prince seized his opportunity and sprinted to the back of the car, grabbing a hold of the bumper.

"I made it!" He cried cheerfully, but before another word was said, the light turned green and the truck went zooming foreword and Yami flipped over into the back, landing on his stomach right behind Bakura and Marik. "… Ouch."

"See? Dat wasn't so hard."

Marik nodded, "Wight. So we'll jus wide da car till we get cwose to da airport. Tink ya can be quiet till den?"

"Uh… uh-huh…" He blushed, "B-But why I gotta be qui—"

"WE SAID SIWENCE!"

"…"

* * *

Back in the heart of the East Side, down on Sphincter Ave, everyone in a particular gaming shop was asleep and drifting around in their dreamlands. The house was silent and not a motion was made. Except one. Except the motions and movements of a wily old coot who happened to be tiptoeing up the stairs in his own home.

He was wearing a ninja suit that adorned every wrinkle and saggy curve of his body. The suit was made out of spandex and, sadly, the old man hadn't known that when he bought the suit from 'Boom Boom' and when he had tried it on, it almost didn't fit. So he was forced to remove his undergarments and as he now continued his tipping and toeing, he repeatedly pulled wedgies out of his crack.

He reached the top of the stairs and made it to the other side of the hallway where a hard wooden door had a piece of paper taped to it that read, 'Yugi and Yami's Room!' He grinned under that thick, gray mustache and gently pushed open the door.

Inside were the normal things he sometimes witnessed in his grandson's room. Dirty clothes in large piles, half eaten snacks on the floor and sexual, torture devices stacked up in the corner. But something else caught his eye, distracting him from attempting to steal those inviting looking toys. Over in the bed by the window was Yugi who was snoring lightly and had his arm draped over a smaller something next to him.

_That's_ what he was interested in.

'Ooh hoo hoo hoo!' He laughed mentally, becoming quite giddy as he maneuvered between all the obstacles, 'Finally, I'll have a great grandson to call my very own! Yugi wants to hog Yami but then he'll go to waste, that boy doesn't know how to raise a kid. Heh heh heh, Yami, you're all mine now!'

Just as Grandpa threw the covers off of the sleeping boys, he gasped at seeing his grandson with his arm draped protectively over Little Fruitcake who was snuggling next to him.

Grandpa blinked angrily, "What the (bleep)? Where's Yami?"

At hearing this sudden noise, Little Fruitcake mewled and turned his head, peeping one large and chocolaty brown eye up at the intruder. He frowned, 'Aren't you here a little bit late? Visiting hours in this room are from 7 to 7. And it looks like it's 2 am. Master doesn't like being woken up before 7, it interrupts his beauty sleep. And you know something else…'

As Little Fruitcake blabbed on, Grandpa busied himself by frantically searching the bed. Under pillows and sheets and stuffed animals, even lifting the kitten to search beneath him.

'E-Excuse me!'

"Grr, where is he?" He cried out to himself, throwing the cat out of the window who in turn screeched and failed to land on his feet as he met a bush.

"YAWN."

Suddenly, the old man stopped his search and looked up, eyes wide as he starred at Yugi who was sitting up in bed and rubbing his eye. He looked over and almost jumped back at seeing his grandfather holding one of his bed sheets.

"W-What are you doing in here, Grandpa?"

"Um… I-I can explain… Uh, see… I was taking some medicine… B-But those darn childproof caps made it slip out of my hand and would ya believe it? It went flying right into your bed, so… Aha, so I came in here to get it…" He coughed and blushed, knowing that what he had just said was a crappy excuse and that he was busted for sure.

Yugi blinked before reaching his hand down into the covers and then pulling out an orange pill bottle. "Oh, here it is…" He outstretched his arm, "Here ya go, Grandpa."

"…"

"Well…? Aren't you going to take it?"

"Oh… Yes, of course." He laughed nervously and took the pill bottle, turning on his heel and walking out of the room. He was almost out of the doorway before he heard the boy call him.

"And Grandpa?"

"Uh, y-yes, Yugi?"

"Could you take all that spandex off? I don't want the neighbors starting more rumors."

"Ugh… yes, Yugi…"

* * *

It was now that Marik and Bakura were regretting taking this particular vehicle. Just moments after commanding Yami to shut up, Bakura got up and peeked through the back window of the cab and saw that it happened to be an old woman who was driving. And that was just a pain.

She stopped at every stop sign for more than five minutes even when there was no other car in sight and when she was actually surrounded by cars, she went so slow that you couldn't even tell she was moving. The boys considered the option of hopping on another vehicle, but Yami began to whine and complain and it took another five whacks with Marik's rattle to shut him up again.

But finally, they recognized the street they were on and as luck would have it, the old woman was pulling into the large and twisted parking lots of the Domino City Airport.

"Yes! Wes here!" Yami announced, holding onto the side of the car and blinking his eyes excitedly as if he were a puppy.

"Yea, yea. Wes here, now pipes down afore you mess stuff up." Bakura snapped at the puppy-like yami who whined, giving him big eyes.

The old woman exited her car and went off into the large building. Marik hopped down from inside the car and motioned for the other two to do the same thing. When they got down, they had to sneak under cars and hide behind things all the way to the building in order to not be seen by the adults that surrounded them.

But they did make it and to find out what happens after that, you'll just have to wait until I start typing again.

* * *

_**TBC…**_


	7. No Malik Land

Her Sweetness: Hey guys. You're in the middle of the Marik and Malik Birthday Update Marathon. Please take note of the fact that I'm going all out today with extra long chapters, we must celebrate with style!

Enjoy!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 7:

The Domino City airport was completely crowded. But then it always was at this time of year. At the beginning of summer, people all over the country were trying to go on vacation and get there soon so they would no longer have to worry about jobs or bosses… or _affairs_ with their bosses at their jobs.

But three young people were not sneaking around said airport seeking an escape from those things. They were off in search of a Wizard. And no, _not_ the wonder Wizard of Oz.

The three chibis had made it inside the large, dome-like airport and were on the first level in the lobby where people walked back and forth in a hurry and the boys were under one of the benches, watching their feet pass by. Marik nodded to his fellow yamis, signaling that it was time to get going.

Bakura nodded and pushed Yami out from under their shelter.

"Eek!" He shouted, dodging falling shoes, "W-Wait a mwinute!"

"Ha ha! 'Ey, Mawik, wets trow somethin' at him!" Bakura cried excitedly to his friend, watching as Yami had to scurry to keep from being stepped on.

Marik shrugged, "We ain't got nuthin to trow at him."

"Sure we does!" He giggled before taking off his pants and tossing them at the confused Pharaoh. They landed right on his head, adorning his wild spikes and Yami immediately settled down, almost as if the fabric of Bakura's trousers lulled him into a sense of security.

Marik blinked, "… _Kay_…"

Bakura got up and run from under the bench, going out into the open with nothing but a red t-shirt on and squealed while waving his arms at Marik and Yami who had lifted the pants from his head, "Ey, ey, wets go!"

Yami got up and followed the albino as he ran across the room and Marik got up and went along as well. They did manage to get a crowd, what with them being so small and the moms that were scattered around the lobby absolutely died when they saw Bakura's little butt. They immediately dropped their own kids and followed him.

The tan chibi looked back briefly and started running faster, "Ey! Yami, tell 'Kura to pwut his dwamned pants back on! We bein' chased!"

"No!" Bakura cried, hearing what Marik had just said, "Dis is my mwoment of wiberation! I will nwot be siwenced!"

"'Kura…!" Yami shouted, "Seein' your butt's weally gettin' old!"

"Wat'd he sway?"

"He swaid my butt was old!"

"Dwid not!"

Suddenly, all the moms that had been chasing Bakura, Yami and Marik now kicked into high gear at hearing that the young boys could talk. Their own kids had long since been forgotten and were left in the center of the lobby, crying. The fastest mom of the group lunged foreword and managed to tackle Marik. She held onto his stubby little legs, "I got one!"

He squealed, fighting against her grip, "Wet go! Dwammit!"

"Aw, don't worry, baby!" She cooed, snuggling him, "Mommy's here!"

"You ain't my mommy! Wet GO! Wahhh…! Someone hwelp me!"

Yami stopped in his tracks and turned around, seeing now that all the moms were tackling the boy and pulling him in opposite directions, each trying to get a piece. He began to panic, as he usually does in scary situations, and hopped back and forth on each foot. "U-Uh, hwold on, Mawik! 'Kura! Mawik's bein attwacked!"

By this time, Bakura was about seven feet away at the elevator, waiting inside for them. He waved both arms frantically while trying to keep other adults from pushing the elevator's buttons.

"Hurwy up! Dese peoples tryin' ta make da ewavata gwo 'way!"

"But, Mawik—!"

Marik had kicked a woman in the face and as soon as she was off, another took her place, planting a big, wet kiss on the boy's cheek. Yami finally stopped his nervous dance and ran over, helping Marik beat them off.

A man in a business suit looked down at Bakura in the elevator as he stood there, guarding it. He frowned, "Excuse me, young man, but I have a flight to catch and—"

"Ey, shove it, mista! I tink my fwiends' is bein' attacked by your wife!"

"… Really…?" He turned around, "Oh, no, that's not my wife. My wife is at home. That's my girlfriend."

"…"

"'KURA! STWART DA EWAVATA!"

Bakura snapped to attention at hearing his name being called and seeing both Marik and Yami running towards him with a pack of stampeding women behind them, arms outstretched and ready for cuddling and breastfeeding. Bakura's eyes went wide and he had to jump to reach the button for the 3rd Floor.

The doors started to close but the albino didn't think the others would make it in time. As the two doors got closer and closer, Bakura cringed until they were only two inches apart. The women were on their heels and Yami was screaming again. It was then that Marik knew what he had to do.

He grabbed Yami's hair and used all of his strength to swing the chibi by his hair and launch him in-between the two doors as they closed. His tiny body stopped them and he lay on the floor, half way in the elevator and half way on the lobby's carpet.

"M-Mawik, dat hurt…!"

"Well, it wasn't s'posed to feel gwood!" He shouted right before sliding into the elevator, pulling Yami in all the way and the doors finally closed, causing those love-struck moms to hit the door face first.

Yami slid down the door, sighing, "Ah…"

"Heh heh." Bakura smiled, "You gwuys almost got captured out dere!"

"Yeah an' it was your fauwt, 'Kura! Ya need to keep ya pants on!" Marik scrunched up his nose and turned the other way.

"It was a mwoment of wiberation! An' sides dat, it was hot in dere."

"… Wight…"

It was quiet for a moment and during that minute, only the hum of the elevator going up was heard. Yami cleared his throat and motioned towards the tower of buttons on the side of the door, "Wes goin' to fwoor t'ree?"

"Yup." Bakura nodded, "I tink dat's where da fwights to da soudern hemisphere is at."

"You been here afore?"

"Uh-huh, wen Ryou twook me ta Disney Wand."

Yami frowned, pouting, "Ey… Yugi neva twook _me_ ta da Disney Wand…"

Marik nodded sagely, "Dat's cause your ugwy."

"No it ain't!"

* * *

Though it was technically already morning when the chibis left, the sun actually rose around 6 o' clock and beautiful rays shown down into the bedrooms of the inhabitants of the East Side. One of the first houses that the little rays entered was the home of a pale teen whose eyes fluttered open when the rays hit him in the face through his Venetian blinds. He yawned, sitting up and looked around before hopping out of bed and getting into the shower.

After about five minutes, he exited the bathroom with a Chobits towel wrapped, loosely around his waist. He was humming the theme song while venturing down stairs and into the kitchen, "Let me be with… Hey, 'Kura, what do you want for breakfast?" He called into the living room.

Since Bakura had been 'immune' to snuggling, he'd been sleeping on the couch in the living room for the past two nights and though it upset Ryou, he got over it. But now, as he didn't hear anything from his young yami, he blinked, calling again, "'Kura?"

Still nothing.

And so, thinking that he had been perhaps killed or hideously maimed by the remote control, he rushed into the living room and looked onto the couch.

"Hey, Bakura, are you…? B-Bakura?" Ryou squeaked when he saw nothing but furniture in the room and he immediately flew into a wild frenzy, shouting Bakura's name and running through the house, looking everywhere that a chibi could possibly hide. Finding nothing, he searched the upstairs and then the grounds surround the house in nothing but his towel.

He rose from under the bushes in front of the house and shouted out, "_BAKURA_!"

* * *

"YAWN." Malik scratched his head sleepily, still half in dream land. He had just been having the most wonderful fantasy about Elvis in a Santa Clause hat. Most of that dream was X-rated and will not be discussed.

He turned over, blinking and muttering, "Oh, Elvis…"

Suddenly, a loud bang scarred him out of his dreamy state and he sat in an upright position on the bed, whirling his head around to see that the window behind his bed had slammed shut. He blinked and asked himself, "Why was that open…? Hey, Marik, did you open the window? … Marik?"

Looking down at the place where his miniature yami was last scene, he gasped. The leather belts and straps were loose and there was no Marik in sight. The hikari crawled to the edge of the bed and looked underneath, "Marik? Are you under there?"

No answer and so he sat back up, pondering this. He took in a deep breath and assessed the situation in his mind, which was what his sister always taught him to do in situations where he thought he might have a nervous breakdown. So, taking in another deep breath, he thought, 'Now let's see… Where could Marik have gotten off to? I made sure those belts were tight so he must've found the unlock button. Where could he possibly go…? Or… where would he want to go? Hmm…'

**Flashback:**

"Aw, Marik, why can't you be like normal kids and like to be cuddled?"

"'Cause I ain't a kid an' cuddilin' is for swissies!"

"No it isn't. I like to cuddle and I'm—"

"Da biggest swissy I know."

"… You know, just for that, I'm going to cuddle you extra hard!"

"NO!"

"Mwehehehehehehe!"

"Guh! Ugh! Ah, stwop it, Malik!"

"I won't stop until I'm dead!"

"Wahh! J-Jus ya wait an' swee, Malik! I'm gunna go somewheres where dere ain't no cuddilin an' dere ain't no you!"

"Oh yeah? And just where is this No Malik Land?"

"………………….. Jwupiter."

"Heh heh. That's so cute. Well, until you go to Jupiter, you're staying right here where I can hold you!"

"_NO_!"

**End Flashback.**

Malik's eyes widened. "Jupiter…!"

* * *

Over at the Kame Game Shop, Yugi was getting more than a bit irate. He had been trying to go to sleep ever since his grandfather had come in at around two o' clock, looking for his pill bottle. But now that he was awake he just couldn't go back to sleep. And now he knew why.

It was the dirty clothes that were scattered in piles all over the bedroom's floor. The clothes had built up from weeks of untidiness and the smell was so awful it was no wonder he couldn't get to sleep at night. And this was Yami's month to clean their room but on the day that he was supposed to do it, he got turned into a chibi and Yugi let him get away with not doing it.

But now it was just getting ridiculous. Yugi sat up in his bed and turned to the side, where a lump under the pillow was stationed. He folded his arms, "Okay, Yami. I really need to talk to you about this room. I mean, I know you're small and everything but it really smells. Maybe you could get Little Fruitcake to help you. … Yami? Yami, you should look at me when I'm talking to you, you know. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. Yami. YAMI."

When nothing happened, Yugi pouted and took the cover off of the lump only to reveal that it wasn't his adorable little Pharaoh… it was a skunk.

"AHHH! HEY! WHAT THE HELL?"

Suddenly, the black and white forest animal opened one of it's eyes and growled at the tri-colored boy who was in it's territory. Without any warning, it leapt up and attached itself to the teen's face. Yugi screamed and flailed as he did battle with the animal and fell off of his bed and rolled underneath it and then came out of the other side, screaming for help while trying to get the beast off his face.

Grandpa came by Yugi's open door and didn't even to bother looking side before tying his bandana around his head and saying firmly, "Yugi, I'm going out for a walk."

"AAAAHHHHH!"

"I may not be back for a while, so I left some money for a pizza on the counter."

"GOOD LORD, HELP ME!"

"I'm taking Little Fruitcake, he's desperately in need of exercise."

"MY EYES! MY FREAKING _EYES_!"

"I would kiss you goodbye, but you have skunk on your face. Make sure to take care of that."

As soon as he had finished saying goodbye to his grandson, he nodded confidently and walked down stairs and out the front door, checking around the side of the shop. He smiled at seeing a white ball of fur curled up by a trashcan.

"Hey there, Fruity."

A large brown eyes opened and his head lifted, 'I thought I said I didn't like that name.'

"Let's roll." He walked over and picked the kitten up, tucking it in the front pouch of his overalls and walking out of the alleyway and onto the sidewalk, looking around rapidly for any sign of… something.

'Just where are you taking me? I can't go anywhere today! I-I have to see a man about some kitty-litter!'

"Shh! Stop all that meowing or you'll scare him away!"

'Who?'

"I'm out here looking for Yami, my great grandson. He's missing, Fruity!"

'Don't call me Fruity! And Yami-Master isn't your grandson, he's Master's—'

Grandpa clamped a hand over the kitten's face, "Shh! Quiet or we won't here him if he's nearby!"

'I can't breathe!'

* * *

It was about ten minutes later in the center of Sphincter Ave when, at the same time, three different boys came from three different directs and met in the center of the street right over a manhole. One had a slightly worried and anxious look on his face while another was sobbing uncontrollably and finally, the shortest was looking pretty perturbed and he looked as if he'd just gotten in a fight with a wild animal.

Ryou cried out, latching himself onto Malik, "BAKURA'S GONE! MALIK, HE'S GONE AND I C-CAN'T FIND HIM _ANYWHERE_!"

Malik patted his friend soothingly on the back as he sobbed and wetted his favorite shirt, "It's okay Ryou, don't cry! If it, um, makes you feel any better, Marik's gone too."

"NO, IT DOESN'T!" He screeched.

The blonde sighed and looked at Yugi, "I'm guessing Yami's gone too, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"… What's wrong with your face?"

"It's skunk season."

"… Ookay…"

"IT ISN'T FAIR! I DIDN'T GET ENOUGH TIME WITH HIM! IT ISN'T FAIR AT ALL…!"

"Ryou, calm down! Listen for a sec! I think I know where they are, all three of them!"

Both Yugi and Ryou looked up, "WHERE?"

"Jupiter."

"…"

"…"

Yugi groaned, "I knew you'd start acting like your yami sooner or later, Malik."

Ryou nodded, whispering, "I sure hope it isn't contagious."

"Stop that, both of you! It's true! Marik told me the other day that he wanted to go somewhere that no one would cuddle him! He said Jupiter and don't you find it odd that your yamis are missing, too? I'd bet anything that they're all up there right now!"

"…" Ryou blinked, "Well… It sounds logical…"

"Oh come on, it does not!"

"Yugi, think about it. These are _our_ yamis we're talking about, after all. They can do just about anything."

"Ugh…" He held his head and looked up at his taller, fellow hikaris, "S-So, what does this mean?"

"We're heading to Jupiter!" Malik raised his hand towards the sky.

Ryou did the same, "To Jupiter!"

They both looked at Yugi expectantly and he sighed, raising his hand as well, " Yay…"

* * *

**_TBC…_**


	8. Destination Impossible

Her Sweetness: Yeah… so… big surprise, here I am. Bet none of you expected this, huh? Well, I got back into the RRW spirit of things recently. In short, I missed the hell out of writing for the chibis.

Their way of talking isn't hard to get back into at all and I can instantly fall through the hole in the monitor and back into their world. I even came up with a new plot which rocks way harder than the other one. See what wonders hiatuses can work?

Enjoy.

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 8:

The sun was shining brightly over East Domino as the grass swayed and the birds picked at the remains of broken condoms on the streets. On Sphincter Ave, near the center of East Domino, three teen boys were running from their previous spot at the manhole towards Ryou's house. Well, Malik and Ryou were running. Yugi was more or less walking quickly, a perturbed look on his face, half of it due to the lingering effects of the skunk and the other half because of this wild goose-chase they were setting out on.

"Come on, Yugi!" Ryou shouted back at the shorter hikari. "We have to get to Jupiter in a hurry!"

Yugi's face twisted up twice as much and he said nothing. The boys reached Ryou's driveway and waited a minute as Ryou manifested his car keys from his person which happened to be only in a Chobits towel. He unlocked the car and he attempted to get into the driver's seat, however, he was stopped by Malik's hand on his shoulder.

Ryou looked up, blinking. "Malik, what's wrong?"

"Uh-uh." Malik shook his head gravely. "Ryou, I'm sorry, but you cannot drive. You know how you get. Remember what happened last time? We were nearly killed! No way, out, out, out. I'll drive."

Ryou looked shocked and hurt. He turned around and saw Yugi's face just as grave. "He's right, Ryou," Yugi said, immediately looking up to Malik and saying, "You know, just in case, he better sit in the back. So he doesn't reach over and try to take control."

"Good idea."

"Hey! I would never do such a thing!"

"Out," they other two said in unison.

"This is my car," Ryou tried to argue but Malik seemed unsympathetic. He scooted Ryou out of the driver's seat and ended up having to have Yugi's help to push Ryou into the back seat and strap him down with three seatbelts. He sulked and grumbled in the back seat as the engine started up and Malik backed out of the driveway and left Sphincter Ave and their homes, setting them on the first few steps of their next adventure.

A few blocks down, Yugi stopped rocking out to the radio and leaned up to turn the volume down. "So, clue me in here. Just where is it that we're going? I didn't think it was possible to drive to Jupiter."

Malik waved his right hand at Yugi as if dismissing something silly. He laughed and said, "Of course not! We're driving to NASA."

"…" Yugi blinked.

Malik continued to drive.

Ryou continued to sulk.

Yugi slowly turned his head towards the back seat and noticed how, at hearing this madness, Ryou had not flinched or batted an eyelash. Yugi wondered if Ryou had been privy to this crazy destination. "Ryou… um… N-NASA?"

Ryou raised an eyebrow daintily. "Yes, Yugi, what about it?"

"Wha… but… NASA?"

"Yes, Yugi. Do you know any other space stations?"

There were a few moments of silence, during which Yugi kept switching his gaze from Malik to Ryou and visa versa. He finally shouted, "But NASA is like so far away!"

Malik turned to him and winked. "You'd think that, right? But actually, they just built a new one not far from here!"

Ryou nodded. "It's right outside of Domino."

Yugi's eyes were wide. "W… What the heck? There is no other NASA, the only one is in Houston, Texas!"

"You know how they built another Disney Land? Yeah, well, this is the same thing."

"…"

Malik went back to driving.

Ryou went back to sulking.

Yugi sat back in his seat and questioned reality.

* * *

The elevator doors opened up on Floor Three for the three young yamis who stood inside the machine. On their way up, the elevator stopped at Floor Two and six people were wanting to get on. When the chibis denied them entrance (and it was more so Marik and Bakura than Yami who just hid in the corner and cried) the people got mad and tried to get on anyway. This resulted in bitten knees and the people backed off. But, yes, finally the doors opened and the site on Floor Three was just as busy as ever. It was summer and everyone was rushing to go on vacation to popular places in the southern hemisphere.

Marik ventured off of the elevator as soon as the doors opened and the other two followed suit. People who had been waiting for the elevator gave the chibis exiting strange looks but ignored them and entered.

"So," Marik said conversationally, looking around, "which is da wight gate fuh New Zeawand?"

"We gwotta wook at da big board," Yami said and waved his hands above his head.

The other two yamis looked at him in question.

"Ya know!" He waved his hands again. "Da big board tingy dat shows twimes uh awival an' numbah an' stwuff. Ya know!"

"Nwo." Marik and Bakura shook their heads.

Yami groaned. He grabbed each yami by the hand and began to lead them in a direction. "I'll show ya."

"Wait jus' a gwoddamn minute!" Marik shouted and pulled away from the young Pharaoh's grip. Both Yami and Bakura looked back at him and Bakura shook Yami's hand away to be like Marik.

"Was wrong wid you two?" Yami asked, utterly confused and a bit irritated. "We gwotta find a fwight to New Zeawand afore it weaves! Wets go!"

"Jus how do ya know where dat board is?"

"Wha? I dun weally know but da airport is wike a dome." Yami wiggled his finger in a circle to demonstrate. "If wes keep gwoin' wound it, we'll find it!"

Bakura looked at Marik. "Kinda swounds wogical ta me."

"You wouldn't know wogical if it came up an' bit ya nose off."

"Hey!"

"Hey yourswelf."

Bakura growled and launched himself onto Marik, tumbling with his fellow chibi and rolled them both onto the floor where they proceeded to beat the crap out of each other. People walking by paid only passing attention to the tiny brawl and Yami, who wasn't too happy about the outbreak of violence.

He sighed heavily and while Marik and Bakura fought themselves into a ball, Yami got behind them and rolled the ball of chibi down the aisle. They were down between people's legs and for Yami looking up to search for the board was hard work on his neck seeing as how, in chibi form, his head was so ridiculously large and his neck was almost the size of a pencil eraser. Marik and Bakura continued to fight and didn't seem to have any objections about being pushed across the floor like a medicine ball.

Over the loudspeaker was that same voice that you can never understand, announcing flights and such. Yami made an upset noise in the back of his throat when another random person almost stepped on him. "I hwate bein' small! Can't wait till we find dat Wizard uh Suggwestiveness an' go back at bein' big."

He looked up and, lo and behold, saw the board he had been searching for. Times and flight numbers flashed and moved up and down. Yami's large amethyst eyes searched it quickly as he used his foot to kick Marik off of Bakura.

The other two chibis looked up questioningly.

"Fwound it!" Yami cried. He pointed and read down the list, thankful for a moment that his now chibi-like nature did not prohibit him from reading. "N… Ah! W'okay, lessee."

There was a pause.

Bakura's eye twitched. "Well?"

"You guys cwould help me wook! 'Stead uh jus' sittin' dere wike bumps on a pickle!"

Marik shrugged. "I dun know how ta wead, you nuts?"

Yami blinked and looked to Bakura. "Well… you know, wight? You been ta school, I know Ryou took ya."

"Yeah… but all I eva wearned was how ta stwep ova wet condoms in da hallway."

Yami's face grew red. "Well jus' perfect!" he shouted, "Tanks, Bakuwa! If we come across a condom dat we can't defeat, we'll wook to you for gwuidance!"

There was a pause.

Bakura gave a thumbs-up sign.

Yami screamed in aggravation.

Marik smacked Yami across the back of the held and told him to get back to work. Yami pouted and scanned the screen once more. After a moment or so, he looked back at his two companions, whining, "Dere's no fwight ta New Zeawand, gwuys!"

"Gweat, now wha do we do?" Bakura asked.

"Hmm… Well, dere is a fwight to Mwelbourne, Austwalia weaving soon. Dats wight next ta da New Zeawand. We go ta Mwelbourne an' den find a way ta New Zeawand fwom dere. Sound w'okay?"

There was a pause.

Marik bonked Yami on the head.

"OUCH!"

"Shwut up. Dat idea is stwupid. I gots a betta one. Hows 'bout we take a fwight to Mwelbourne in Austwalia. We can go ta New Zeawand from dere."

Bakura nodded. "Sounds gweat ta me."

"Coolies."

Yami's eyes were wide in awe. "B… But… I just—"

"You wanna 'nother smack?" Marik asked, his lavender eyes glinting and promising trouble.

"No…"

"Den wets go. Which gwate is da fwight ta Mwelbourne and when dwoes it weave?"

Yami grumbled as he looked up once again. "Uh… Lessee… it's Gwate 18, fwight 241. Swoutheast Airwines… HOWEE RA! IT WEAVES IN TWO MINUTES!"

Both Marik and Bakura gasped and started to frantically look around for their gate. Yami started running in the opposite direction of which they had come and shouted back at the other two to follow him, reminding them yet again of the airport's circular structure. They followed him and had to weave in and out from between the legs of passengers boarding and exiting their own gates.

Yami looked from side to side as he ran and counted the gates. He thought worriedly, 'Where's 18? Lessee… 11, 12, 13—Ack!' Yami was looking to the left at gate 13 and ran right into a baby stroller being pushed foreword by a traveling mother. Yami flipped over the stroller's front two wheels and knocked the baby out and spun himself into the stroller.

The baby lay on the floor crying and the mother, whose attention was just grabbed, gasped and hurried to pick up her child. The stroller with Yami in it, meanwhile, bounced backwards with the force of having Yami thrown into it and lunged foreword after hitting the mother's knees. She screamed. So did Yami.

The stroller started foreword and people dove out of the way. Marik and Bakura who had been running that way just noticed their fellow chibi in the stroller coming straight at them. Marik yipped and began to run the other way. Bakura, being naturally slow-witted, simply stopped running and squint. He said, "'Ey, Yami, dat you?"

"GET OUTTA DA WAY!" Yami wailed, waving his arms above his head.

"But why—" Before Bakura could finish his question, he was swept up by the stroller which had now picked up speed and was rushing down the aisle. Most people managed to get out of the way. Those who didn't were run over and Yami and Bakura's head bobbed up and down as they went over many speed-bumps.

Marik was still running but he was only just in front of the baby carriage seeing as how his legs were considerably shorter. Unfortunately for Marik, he was unable to outrun the carriage and it ran into him, flipping him backwards and betwixt Yami and Bakura. The force of the newest passenger, however, bounced the stroller and it swerved into a nearby pillar, bouncing off and back in the correct direct. This time, traveling at a bit of a downward slope, it went quite a bit faster.

The three chibis were screaming and so were the innocent bystanders who were thinking there were three helpless babies in the stroller. One of the bystanders actually took it upon themselves to help the situation. He threw himself in front of the stroller in an act of heroism but tripped at the last second and fell down.

Yami gasped and, not wanting to be the cause of another maiming, he shifted his weight to one side of the stroller and swerved to the right just bouncing off the man's head. The stroller veered off the linoleum aisle and went onto the carpet by the nearest gate. Gate 18.

The woman standing at the gate entrance was getting the last two people in through the entryway after taking their tickets. As she was walking away and the gate was about to shut, the stroller went rocketing through unnoticed.

A few minutes later, flight 241 was preparing for take-off and its destination was Melbourne, Australia.

* * *

_**TBC…**_


	9. Uncle Of Mine

Her Sweetness: Hey, all. I've been dumped by the love of my life recently. So sorry this chapter is late. I'm still not totally better but what better cure than writing, huh?

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 9:

"Here, Fruity, sniff this."

'No!'

"Aw, don't be that way, Fruity. Do Grandpa a little favor."

'That's one hell of a little flavor.'

Grandpa had since taken Little Fruitcake into the house right after Yugi had left. He knew that there was little chance of just finding Yami out of the blue. He had to have some sort of direction. That's where Little Fruitcake came in. The two of them were in the boys' room and Grandpa had searched through all their piles of dirty clothes and finally found a pair of Yami's underwear.

He held the soiled undergarments before the cat, trying to force him to sniff but Little Fruitcake was adamant in his refusal.

'Do I look like a damn dog?' he meowed while trying to struggle away. 'I won't do it!'

Grandpa sighed in aggravation. He really didn't have time for all this meowing and protesting. By now, Yami could be in Calcutta, he thought. So he grabbed Little Fruitcake by the tail and the poor kitten meowed loudly, opening his mouth wide and Grandpa stuffed the underpants inside.

'MMF!' Little Fruitcake mumbled and frizzed his fur in disgust at the awful odor.

"There we go," Grandpa said, nodding with satisfaction. In a moment, he pulled the underwear free of the kitten's mouth. "Now, do you have Yami's sent, Fruity?"

The kitten coughed. 'Unfortunately.'

"Great!" All of a sudden, Grandpa pulled out a red leash from inside one of his overall's pockets and latched it onto the kitten's collar. He pointed out of the doorway, "Lead the way!"

'Oh, you must be joking—'

"GO!" and with that warrior-like wail, the old man kicked the kitten in the rear and off he scampered, out the door and down the stairs and eventually onto the street, on their way to who knows where.

* * *

"Welcome, passengers. This is Captain Gummy speaking, I'll be your captain on this flight to Melbourne, Australia. Please buckle your seatbelts when the red lights flash. We will take off shortly. Enjoy the flight," said a man's voice from the intercom. It buzzed off for a second and then buzzed back on for the pilot to add, "Oh… and, for the man in seat 11B in coach, the flight attendants _will not _sing you a lullaby before you take your nap so please stop asking. Thank you."

The man in 11B sulked in his seat.

The chibis and the stroller had bounced right into the coach section of the plane. As they went bouncing along, all the time the three of them shouting and squealing, an attendant saw them go through the gate and tried to follow them, shouting, "Hey! Come back!"

But they couldn't stop the stroller and wouldn't have done so if they could because now they were in. The stroller hit a bump in the carpeting and bumped off the aisle and into a row of seats. For Bakura, who was the first little one to come bouncing out of the carriage and into a seat, the ride had become rather fun and he was slightly upset when it was over. Yami bounced out second, landing on top of Bakura's head and Marik went third landing into a stranger's lap.

Bakura and Yami were in the window seat, Yami whining when Bakura threw the little pharaoh off of him. The man sitting next to the two was the man who had earlier been harassing two lovely flight attendant to sing to him as he was growing tired. He now looked down at little Marik who was in his lap.

"Whoa, nelly. What're you kids doing here? Where's your mom?" he asked them, not really expecting a response.

"Dead," they all echoed which was not untrue.

The man raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You can talk!"

"No shwit, Sherwock," Marik said crossly and hopped out of the man's lap and into the seat with the other two. He turned his attention to them and said, "Well… didn't tink we'd make it heres we are. Was' our nwext move?"

Bakura shrugged and looked at Yami.

Yami opened his mouth to speak but yipped instead when Marik slapped Bakura.

"What da fweak was dat for!" Bakura shouted, a tiny red hand mark on his cheek.

"For wookin' at Yami wike he gots all da answers!"

"Well you asked!"

"I didn't ask him!"

Bakura crossed his arms. "Well, I hwope ya didn't ask me cause if ya did, you're dwumber den I am!"

"Twake dat back!"

"No, I won't!"

It seemed apparent that the two would break out in a fist fight and they were already garnering some stares for others in the aisle. Yami shushed them hurriedly by waving his hands and the two glared at him. Yami shivered and said meekly, "Pwease, no mwore fightin'. Wets jus' wide da pwane till we gets at Melbourne an den we can go at da New Zeawand, mm'kay? A-An' we can say dat Mawik came up wit dat pwan, 'kay?"

Marik blinked and sat down, seemingly satisfied.

Bakura did the same and Yami sighed with relief.

The captain's voice came through the speaker at the head of the area: "We are now departing Domino City. Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for liftoff."

Everyone did as they were told, including the man in seat 11B and the chibis. Bakura took the seatbelt and passed it across Marik and over to Yami who secured it. They were so small that one seatbelt could secure them all and there was still a little room left.

In a minute or so the plane began to stream down the runway and finally took off, going higher and higher into the sky, leaving Domino City behind. Bakura had the place closest to the window and looked out, enjoying the clouds and sunshine in contented silence. Marik sat in the middle with his eyes closed and thought to himself. Yami was kicking his feet happily, pleased that things were going so well.

He felt, though, that there was something amiss. It turns out he was being watched by the man sitting next to him and Yami looked up with his glossy amethyst eyes at the rather pudgy and unappetizing man.

"Umm… yes?" Yami asked innocently.

"What're you doing here by yourselves?"

Yami blinked and thought about something suitable to say so as to not draw too much attention to the three. He finally said, "We're goin' to visit our pawents."

"You said they were dead though."

"… Dere gwaves."

The man thought for a minute, his brown eyes sizing up Yami. He held out his hand. "I'm Marty."

"I'm Yami," said the little chibi and shook the man's hand which was extremely sweaty and slick.

Marty nodded and took his hand back, putting it under his nose and sniffed it profusely. Yami's eyes rounded slightly but he decided to ignore that odd gesture and turned back to face the seat in front of him. On the small monitor by the door to first class, The Three Amigos was playing soundlessly. In order to hear it, an attendant would give a passenger earphones but it cost five dollars and the chibis had no money so Yami tried to lip-read.

But before the pharaoh could really get into it, he heard a loud slurping sound and jerked his head towards Marty who was sucking and _drooling_ all over his fingers.

"Aaaahhh…" he breathed in deeply.

Yami gasped and turned away, blushing. He thought, 'W-Wat's he _doin_'?' He glanced over at Marik and Bakura and those two were in their own little worlds. Yami thought briefly about asking one of them to exchange seats with him but before he could, he was tapped on the shoulder.

He looked up and there was Marty, smiling down at him.

"H… Hewo again…"

"So, listen, Yami… I was just thinking… You guys are so little. It's a dangerous world out there. You guys shouldn't be traveling by yourselves." He pauses here, then said, "How about we go to your parents' graves together?"

"N-No, dats not necessawy. Weally, we can do it by owselves," Yami said hurriedly.

"Nonsense," Marty said, his eyes glazed over behind his thick glasses. "You need protection. There're bad people out there!"

Yami gulped and turned back to his fellow yamis, now hastily shaking Marik until his eyes were open.

"W-Wat is it!"

"M-Mawik, ya gotta change seats wid me, dis guy is weal scary an' he wants at trabel wid us!" Yami whispered frantically.

Marik blinked and looked over Yami's spiky head to Marty who was rubber-necking to hear their conversation. Marik frowned deeply and said with as much authority as a chibi can muster, "Jus wat da hell do you want?"

"Only to assist you." He held out his hand to Marik. "I'm Marty."

Marik slapped his hand away. "Stwop boderin' us. We dun want fweaks wike you taggin' along, it bad enough we gots Yami."

"Dat's wight!" Yami nodded and then said, "Ey, wait a minute!"

Marik shushed him with a bonk on the head.

"Oh, but I'm not a freak," Marty said. There was a moment of silence during which Marik gave him a disapproving look.

"I'm gunna keep an eye on you, fweak," Marik said cautiously and then settled back down, closing his eyes again.

Yami scooted a little closer to the small tomb keeper in attempt to make himself safer from Marty's lechery. Marty leaned back into his seat in a second and Yami loosened up after ten minutes of safety. He looked back up at the movie which was still playing on the small screen and tried to get back into the lip-reading.

From time to time he would look up at Marty and see that his eyes, too, were closed and Yami happily decided that he was asleep and hopped he would remain that way until they reached their destination. In a few more minutes, Yami took another regulatory glance at Marty and yelped when the sweaty man was starring down at him.

"Uh, uh… y-yes?"

"Would you like to sit on my lap?"

"WHA?" Yami squealed, flinching.

"You look awfully uncomfortable. My lap is soft. C'mon," he said and reached out to pick Yami up from out of his seat. Yami went hysterical and flailed his tiny arms and screamed until his cheeks were blood-red.

Marty recoiled and turned away, laying his head back and feigning sleep. In a second, a flight attendant came running over, looking at the four passengers, asking, "What's wrong? Which one of you screamed?"

Yami didn't want to blow their cover so he said nothing, only sniffled. The young woman came to the conclusion that the three boys must be Marty's sons and so she smiled at them and then walked away. By this time, Marik and Bakura were out of their worlds due to Yami's incessant screaming and they were looking at him now, agitated.

"Wats da matter wid you?" Bakura asked.

"D-Dat guy," Yami pointed shakily to Marty who still pretended to sleep, "he's bein' cweepy again…"

Marik pursed his lips together tightly and then got out of the seatbelt and walked over Yami's legs and onto Marty's lap.

"No!" Yami howled, "Dats jus where he wants you, Mawik!"

"I dun give a dwamn! Wisten, you," Marik poked Marty harshly on the chest, "stwop buggin us, I'mma twell you dis wast time. If I hear won mwore peep fwom Yami, I'll swap ya silly!"

Yami's eyes watered happily. "Oh, Mawik… I-I neva knew ya cared so much…"

"Shwut up, you."

"Uh… yes…"

Suddenly, Marty came alive and grabbed Marik, holding him tightly to his chest. Marik wailed and flapped his arms in panic. Yami screamed and Bakura howled to which everyone involved stopped what they were doing and looked at him. Bakura opened one eye at them and said, "… Wat?"

Marik groaned and then tried to kick his way out of Marty's grip. "Wet go of me, ya big ape! I mean it!"

"Calm down, little one," Marty said in his most soothing of tones, "Uncle Marty just wants to play."

"UNCLE?" all three boys echoed in disbelief.

* * *

On the streets of Domino was a small car racing past the other vehicles in a hurry. Inside were three lonely hikaris, all thinking of their lost and tiny yamis off somewhere in the considerably big world. They had come all the way from the East Side of Domino to the West Side and through to Domino Bay and the harbor where the ships come sailing in and out.

Yugi hadn't known this before but there, in the close distance, was a large building, a series of them and a large concrete pad in front of them with a large red circle drawn around it and other markings that Yugi knew nothing of.

They drove through the first gate and over it, it said:

**NASA: Domino City**

Malik looked over at Yugi and said, smiling, "See? We were right."

Yugi pouted.

Ryou whined, "Can I be let _loose_ now?"

"In a second, we have to park first," Malik said matter-of-factly. He looked around as they waited behind another car to get into the second gate. It was getting to be late afternoon and the sky was being washed in a light glow of orange and yellow. The sun just barely touched the horizon by the time their car got to the front of the line and a man dressed in uniform came up to the window.

"Can I see some I.D?" the man asked, hands on his hips.

Malik blinked and looked at his fellow hikaris. "Um… Anyone have anything?"

"Nope," Yugi said, shrugging, "I left my school ID at home."

Malik threw Ryou a questioning glance.

"Hey, don't look at me, I'm in a Chobits towel."

The guard heard this and asked Malik, "What about your driver's license?"

"Umm… Heh… Actually, I don't really… have one…" he blushed.

"What? Well, it's illegal to drive without one! I'm sorry but I'm afraid I have to call the police. Please step out of the car, all three of you."

"Oh, I'd _love_ to, sir," called Ryou from the back seat, "but I seem to be _all tied up_."

Malik ignored his sarcasm and pleaded with the guard, "Please, I know we're doing something wrong but we _have_ to get in there! It's a matter of life and death for three little kids!"

"Sure. Ma'am, I'll ask you again, step out of your vehicle."

"And I told you—_Ma'am?_"

"Do it or I'll take you to jail myself."

Malik slammed his foot on the gas pedal and the car zoomed foreword, breaking through the lowered barricade, sending it into red and white pieces of wood scattered across the roadway. Tire tracks were left there as well and the boys heard a pained scream from the guard whose foot Malik ran over.

He called back out of the window, "WHAT NOW, BITCH? _WHAT NOW? _DARE YOU TO CALL ME MA'AM AGAIN!"

Yugi's eyes were wide. He shouted at Malik, "What the hell is wrong with you! We're going to get in so much trouble!"

When Malik didn't listen, only drove on, Ryou glared at Yugi from the back seat and said dryly, "_I_ go crazy, huh?"

* * *

To be continued…

* * *

Her Sweetness: Review, please! It'll make me happy. 


	10. Of All The Gin Joints In All The World

Her Sweetness: Each day is getting a little better… Kinda weird in a way! I almost feel like I walked out of this stronger than when I walked in. And, you know, maybe I did.

Anyway, thanks to those of you who reviewed! This writing is going to be the thing that saves me, I just know it!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 10:

"Oh, Malik, why!" Yugi screamed, "We're going to be in so much trouble when we're caught!"

Malik swerved the steering wheel with both hands as they entered into the parking lot, the pavement below the speeding car and the howling, bleeding guard further and further behind them. As the car rounded the corner of the building and raced to the other side, the guard who had previously called Malik "ma'am" rushed back into his booth and dialed the main security office inside.

"Hello," said a slightly feminine but obviously male voice on the other line, "this is Security, how may I—"

"It's Randy at the Eastern Gate! There's been a breach! Code Red! Code Red! Send back-up!"

The shemale on the other line sighed heavily and rolled his eyes at the receiver. Whilst Randy rambled on, a man pouring himself a cup of coffee in the background looked at the man at the desk's expression and asked, "Randy again?"

"Yes," he said with a lisp, "and he wont _shut up_…"

"Are you listening to me? I said it's a goddamned Code Red!"

"Alright, alright, I heard you. Listen, Randy, don't get me wrong, you're darling, but is this _Code Red _anything like last Tuesday when the Abominable Snowman was harassing an old woman in the stairwell?"

Randy scowled, completely forgetting his busted foot. He shouted, "That really happened! Dammit, while we're chit-chatting, three psychos are infiltrating NASA! Do something!"

"You know, we put you out there so you could welcome the old lady tour buses, not so you could cause a ruckus."

"I'm serious—"

The line clicked off and Randy wailed in frustration. "Fine," he muttered to himself, "If they won't do anything, I will! And when I catch those maniacs, everyone will see that I'm not crazy!" He limped off in the direction the boys had gone.

On the south side of the building, Malik had parked the car and he and Yugi untied Ryou from the backseat. Ryou was fuming mad, his sweet face as red as a cherry. He stomped over to Malik while simultaneously trying to keep his Chobits towel from falling.

Ryou stood in front of the Egyptian and growled, "Gimme those freakin' keys!" as he snatched the ring of keys from Malik. "That is the absolute last time I let one of you limey buggers drive my car! This thing wasn't cheap! It is not a toy! If anyone is going to be reckless with this vehicle, it is going to be me!"

Malik pouted after a moment of silence. "It's not _my_ fault."

Yugi was tempted to say something and might have gone through with it if it wasn't for a fourth person coming in on their conversation. The three boys turned around at hearing the clearing of a throat. It was a middle-aged janitor in a gray jumpsuit with a name tag that said plainly: Earl.

"There're no tours today," he said conversationally. "What are you kids doing here, huh?"

They blinked at each other.

"We're here to go to Jupiter," Malik said bluntly and both Yugi and Ryou face-faulted.

The janitor thought he was kidding and so he laughed good-naturedly.

Yugi frowned at Malik and whispered, "You can't say things like that! You want to blow what little cover we have? The whole building's probably looking for us after you broke through the front gate."

"Well, excuse me!"

"Okay, okay," Ryou said, "let's not argue. Let's just go, it's not like this old man can stop us. After that, whatever happens, happens. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

"Now," said Earl, gaining their attention, "why don't you kids scat. I've got cleaning up to do. And you," he pointed to Ryou, "you ought to put some clothes on."

Ryou looked down and then they all looked back at Earl, tilting their heads.

* * *

Back on the plane that was being piloted by Captain Gummy and flown to Melbourne, Australia, three tiny chibified boys were being harassed by the man in seat 11B. Currently, the man, also known as Marty had little Marik in his grasp and was trying to get the little one to settle down.

Yami was crying loudly, not sure what else to do at this point and Bakura banged on Marty's arm but it had no effect. The same attendant that had visited them earlier now came running back to their row and starred angrily at Marty, her hands on her hips in annoyance.

"Sir, I must ask you to keep your children quiet! They're so loud that first class can hear them and no one is able to enjoy their peanuts."

"I'm so sorry, ma'am," Marty said politely and as he held Marik in one arm, he scooped up both Yami and Bakura in the other one. "I think they're just scared of the plane ride. I should take them to the bathroom for a diaper change. Excuse me," he said and left his seat for the lavatory, the kids still kicking and screaming.

"That's a good idea." The flight attendant nodded, obviously satisfied with the results of her scolding and stood there for a moment longer, after Marty had gone into the bathroom at the end of the coach. She finally said to herself, "Wait a minute, our lavatory doesn't have a changing station..!"

Inside the lavatory, the wicked man, Marty, barely had enough room to move around. The coach restroom was small and almost unsanitary with writings on the wall and _used_ toilet paper on the floor. Marty was obese and sweaty and the small space made the chibis only more repulsed.

"Wet go uh me!" Bakura growled and banged harder with his tiny fists.

Marik bit the man and it might have been more effective if he had had all of his teeth. Yami still cried and begged a little for Marty to let go and leave them alone. Marty put Yami in the sink and held him in place with Bakura while Marik was at his ankles, still trying to bit him but Marty could barely feel it and what little he did feel only turned him on further.

"Hush, now, kiddies. Just stay quiet," he said, licking the sweat from upper lip.

"DIS IS SO GWOSS!" Yami howled frantically.

"Qwick, 'Kuwa, do somethin'!" Marik yelled in between bites.

Bakura thought for a minute and then a relatively small light bulb went off in his head. He grabbed the screaming pharaoh by his hair and used all of his strength to fling him at Marty's face. Marty went toppling backwards clumsily and Marik had to scurry out of the way to avoid being squished.

As Marty went sliding down the wall as Yami went tumbling off of him and into a pile of the used toilet paper. When his big, spiky head popped out, he was dry-heaving and screamed wildly, "UNSANITAWY!"

The other two boys who weren't quite as sissified as Yami was launched themselves onto Marty's chest, armed with wads of dirty toilet paper and other things found on the floor and assaulted him.

"Eat dis, you sick fweak!" Marik yelled, stuffing Marty's mouth with the toilet paper. Bakura followed suit and ran back onto Marty's stomach, jumping up and down as hard as he could, forcing Marty to gag on what Marik was shoving in. He was swallowing and throwing up in the same moment.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bakura roared with evil laughter as he jumped. "I habn't had dis much fun swince we twied ta kill Yami!"

Yami frowned at this.

From outside of the lavatory, all that ruckus was very loud. The flight attendant who had earlier scolded Marty and then remembered that there was no changing station in the lavatory sidled on back there and listened at the door. She gasped quietly at the battle cries and thumps and crying coming from inside. She was no Harvard graduate but she had just about enough sense to know that those weren't the sounds of diapers being changed.

So, not heeding the occupied sign on the door, she jiggled the handle and the door slid open and the contents of the room was revealed to her and the other rubber-necking passengers in the vicinity.

There was a simultaneous roar of "OH GOD!" from the passengers and attendant as they watched two of the chibis attacking a man with his pants down around his ankles and Yami in the corner crying his eyes out.

Yami stopped crying when he realized that real help was here and he crawled over Marty's body and avoided Bakura's stomping and fell onto the attendant's ankles, grasping them and shouting abstractly, "H-Howwable!"

The attendant had to grab both Bakura and Marik from off of Marty before she could properly lay into him for whatever odd things he was doing to the three little boys. She began to yell, "Just what the hell is this! You giant pervert, you aren't their father!"

"_Gee, ya tink?_" Yami wailed.

"Let me go, I ain't done beatin' da cwap outta dat fweak!" Marik shouted and fought the woman's grip on him to get at Marty.

"Wait, please!" Marty called to her, raising his hands in surrender. "Don't let them loose! I'm sorry, I lost control of my urges!"

"Dat is _so_ gwoss…"

Before the attendant or any of the other passengers could say something about this, the pilot's voice sounded over the loudspeaker: "Attention, passengers, we are about to land in Melbourne, Australia. Thank you for riding Sweetness Airlines, please choose us again for your traveling pleasure."

The plane began to decline roughly and the passengers buckled up but the chibis and attendant and pedophile were not in a position to be secure and so they were bounced around a bit. It seemed that Marty had learned his lesson about messing with those three but as the plane went down to the runway and slowed to a stop, he got up and went ambling towards the attendant who had dropped the boys.

He nearly threw himself at them, shouting something incomprehensible.

The boys shrieked in unison and, reacting to their innate chibi-instincts, ran for their chubby little lives. Marty turned on a dime with uncharacteristically cat-like reflexes and stampeded over the poor female attendant as she lay on the floor, paralyzed, with a huge crook in her back.

"Wait a minute!" Bakura shouted as he and his companions made it through coach and then first class, narrowly avoiding being stepped on, "Wat we wunnin' for? We can take 'em, can't we?"

Yami panted, "I tink it's best if we jus get da hweck outta hear!"

"Stwop makin' decisions for us!" Marik shouted at Yami, once again outraged.

"B-But Mawik—"

Marik stopped suddenly, right at the gate to the lobby of Melbourne International Airport, and turned to face Marty. Bakura and Yami stopped as well, both for the same reason, to drag Marik away before a horrible fate could befall him.

"Wat're ya? Stwupid?" Bakura said to him while yanking on his arm.

"No, I'm nwot wunnin' no more! Cwazy wapists dun scare me none!"

"…" Yami paused, his upper lip curled in disgust. "Dere's somethin' wong wid you…"

Marty came running up to them and Yami's shrill cry was enough to shatter glass. And, conveniently enough, the glass of the window directly above the exit, did shatter and a large shard of glass fell on Marty's head, knocking him to the floor in an unconscious heap and another fell on top of him, pinning him to the ground.

Bakura and Marik turned their heads to Yami who, himself, looked more than a bit surprised. Bakura half-grinned and said, "Ey, Yami's swissiness gibs him super stwength."

Marik frowned.

Yami giggled a little at this and began to walk ahead with Bakura in tow. Marik sulked behind them, his little hands shoved far down in his tiny pockets.

* * *

"5,625 bottles of Pepto-Bismol on the wall! 5,625 bottles of Pepto-Bismol! Take one down, pass it around, 5,624 bottles of Pepto-Bismol on the wall…"

Little Fruitcake gritted his teeth in agony at not just Grandpa's horrid, annoying singing but at the awful weight that was pushed down on top of him every step he took. They hadn't been traveling for more than fifteen minutes when Grandpa had pleaded unimaginable fatigue and threw himself onto Little Fruitcake, forcing the kitten to carry him.

'C-Could you maybe shift your weight a bit? You know… so your _butt_ isn't on my _head_?' asked the little animal, interrupting the merry singing of the old man.

"Stop that meowing, Fruity. We've got to get down to business if we're ever going to have any hope of finding Yami. I suspect Yugi and his friends have already gone off to find Yami and take him for themselves. Selfish little whippersnappers."

Little Fruitcake frowned, looking up at Grandpa. 'They aren't _selfish_—'

"Which way did they go, Fruity?"

'Don't ask me, I'm not a dog; you're stupid underwear plan didn't work—'

Grandpa pointed north. "That way did you say?"

'_No_, I _said_—"

"That way?"

There was a moment of silence.

Little Fruitcake sighed heavily and said, 'Sure, fine, whatever. They went that way.'

"Wonderful! Let's keep on then." So the old man kicked his heels into the tiny kitten's sides and the kitten yipped and began to scuttle northward.

They went on for a while, Little Fruitcake's back breaking as Grandpa sang his Pepto-Bismol song from where he had left off. The were going extremely slow for obvious reasons and when they finally arrived in Domino City Park, Little Fruitcake was beyond exhausted and collapsed, causing the old man he carried to plop to the floor.

Grandpa blinked. "Fruity?"

No response.

"Hey, Fruity? Stop playing games, we have to keep going!"

'W-Who's… playing…' the cat muttered.

Grandpa sighed with impatience at his lazy pet. They were in the middle of the park with children running around on the playground a few yards away and on the other side of the lake was a group picnic and a few young lovers beyond that but other than these people, there was no one around. Or so Grandpa thought. He lifted his weight from the kitten and Little Fruitcake popped back into life, gasping and hissing at the old man.

'We need to find another way of travel!'

"Maybe you're right, Fruity. You're much too weak and frail."

'I'm a freakin' cat!'

Suddenly, there was the sound of a whisper.

Little Fruitcake's ears perked up to hear it better. Grandpa's hearing aid was on full blast and he turned around as well, also able to hear the distinct sound.

"Did you hear that, Fruity?"

'Yeah, I did,' said the kitten, now not remarking on the degrading nickname of Fruity.

The sound came again, "Psst."

Finally, the two looked behind a wooden bench to a cluster of trees and saw a dark figure standing next to one of the trees, only a portion of the figure's face sticking out, that portion shaded with the leaves of the oaks. He beckoned to them again, lifting his hand and motioning for the two to join him by the trees.

"Who are you?" Grandpa asked.

"Psst. Come over here," said the figure, ignoring the question and motioning again. "I got something for you two. Something special."

Grandpa brightened immediately. "Really?" he asked and began to take the necessary steps toward him. Little Fruitcake gasped and dug his sharp little teeth into Grandpa's overalls.

'Wait just a minute!' he growled. 'This is a strange guy! We don't know him, we ought to just walk away!'

"Oh, Fruity, don't be silly! He looks trustworthy."

'You can't even see him properly!' the kitten wailed.

The person in the shadows beckoned again. "Psst. Come on. Come here. Just for a second. I have a special something for both of you."

'Don't do it, please! What about finding Yami?'

"This will only take a second," Grandpa told the cat and then asked the mysterious figure, "Won't it?"

"Sure. Less than a second. Just come here."

"See?" Grandpa said and then went over to the tree where the person stood. When Grandpa was standing right in front of him, he said, "Why don't you show yourself?"

"I prefer not to. Now, to the matter at hand." The man appeared to have a large, dingy-brown trench coat on with stains and holes all across it. There was a large pocket in the front of it and the man used his finger to open it. Grandpa tried to see into it but it was dark inside the pocket.

Little Fruitcake stayed a comfortable distance from the two, his fur frizzed.

"What's in there?" Grandpa asked, genuinely curious.

"Something special," the man said, looking into Grandpa's eyes. "And if you want to know what it is badly enough, you will reach in and get it."

Little Fruitcake screeched soundlessly. 'No! Don't you do it, you senile old man! Don't you do it!'

"It is just for you. No one else in the world will have this," said the man. "Take it. Reach in and take it."

Grandpa lifted his tired old hand and hesitated for a second. "But…"

"You never know what you need the most until you have it."

Little Fruitcake hissed loudly, 'That doesn't make any sense! Come back here! Get away from him!'

There was a moment of silence. The stranger's piercing golden eyes watched as Grandpa lifted his hand again and reached for the pocket. Little Fruitcake cringed and broke out into a sprint, trying to reach Grandpa in time.

* * *

Her Sweetness: If you want the next chapter, review, please! I love reading what you think!

* * *

_**TBC… **_


	11. Short People

Her Sweetness: Hey, you guys! I got kinda stuck on this chapter… here's hoping I can get over it and push through! By the way, Compy, I didn't think of that as a reference to LittleKuriboh but I guess you're right, I'll try to watch that.

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 11:

"I-I can't believe we did that!" Ryou panted (now wearing a janitors uniform that the three of them had stripped off of Earl) as he and his fellow hikaris ran down the corridors of NASA.

Yugi nodded, "I've never done anything bad before!"

"Does beating and stripping a janitor really count as bad? I mean, its not as if he is going to freeze to death, it's really warm outside," Malik added and they rounded another corner.

Ryou looked at Malik oddly.

'It's obvious who takes after their yami the most,' Yugi thought but did not say.

They ran past the large windows in the hallways, all with light shining through and onto the glossy floors. The parking lot could be seen from the windows and the street beyond that was visible with a few cars trailing back and forth. The guard's post could be seen as well but the hikaris paid little attention to that as they ran past but there was nothing to see there anyway, as the guard, Randy, had long since left his post.

That poor, half-way delusional guard was limping as quickly as he could to the building and, at the second that the hikaris entered the flight of stairs heading to the second floor, he reached the door the hikaris had come in through. He slowed a bit and saw that the door was open.

He slammed his fist into the open palm of his other hand. "Dammit! They're already inside!"

"You're tellin me, buster," said a voice from somewhere in the vicinity. Randy looked around and saw a middle-aged man's head pop up from behind a cluster of garbage cans.

"Earl?" Randy asked. "What're you doing behind there? Did you see three boys come through here?"

"I sure did! Little hellions came by and robbed me of my clothes!"

"_What?_"

"Even took my underwear. Man, I tell ya, can't no one go no where without bein harassed. I ask you, Randy, is nothing sacred anymore?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to catch those hooligans," Randy said, infused with a new determination, and started inside the building again, dragging his busted foot along with him. Earl watched him go meekly and wished that the boys had at least left him socks and shoes.

Inside the building, the three boys were getting tired of running, not as used to having to sprint long distances as their yamis who often were running from cops and rabid fan girls. Ryou was the first to slow and then finally collapse onto a wall coming out of the stairwell. He held onto the chrome edge and panted, whining, "Guys! Wait…!"

Malik and Yugi did as they were told and looked back, surprised to see Ryou in such condition.

"What's wrong?" Yugi asked. "Are you hurt?"

"Do you need a massage?" Malik asked, holding his hands out.

Yugi shot him a glance.

Malik shrugged.

"It's these darn bikini-style undies!" Ryou cried out, tugging at the seat of the janitors uniform at the same time. "The uniform is making them wedgie me!"

There was a pause and Yugi said in an I-told-you-so voice, "You shouldn't have bought those."

"It's okay, Ryou, think of them as a thong," Malik said.

"Their too thick!"

"You guys," Yugi now whined, "we have to keep going, this is a huge time waster!"

Ryou took this offensively and narrowed his chocolate eyes a bit at the spiky-haired boy. "Granny-panties," he muttered.

Yugi gasped. "Take that back!"

"I will not."

"All right, stop that! Yugi's right, this _is_ a time waster. We have to hurry and get on that shuttle or—"

The voice coming over the intercom overrode Malik's admonishment to his companions and made them all look up.

"_Harriet Monker, Jack Desston, and Tucker Dew, report to the launching pad ASAP. The countdown will begin in two minutes."_

"Holy finger-monkeys!" Malik cried out, his hands flying up to the side of his face suddenly. "We gotta hurry up or we'll miss the rocket!"

"They didn't call _us_," Yugi said mildly.

Malik frowned at him.

Ryou, knowing the importance of them making it to Jupiter, sucked up his underwear-woes and violently picked out his wedgie. He raised his soiled hand to the sky, shouting, "Let's go!"

"I didn't need to see that," Yugi said, more than a bit perturbed with the whole thing.

Ryou and Malik raced off and Yugi trotted along as well, not wanting to be left behind. He honestly wondered how in the world they were supposed to find the launching pad since the place was huge and in obviously wasn't going to have a large, lit-up sign pointing to where they were supposed to be. And as he was about to bring this up to his taller companions, he skidded to a halt as they walked through a door with a large sign that read in flashing

**LAUNCHING PAD**

"Well, here we are." Malik and Ryou nodded to each other and entering with Yugi behind them, his jaw hanging a little.

What is wrong with the world, Yugi wondered secretly and headed in after them.

But as soon as Malik touched the door handle, a strained cry reached their ears.

All three whirled around on their heels to see Randy bursting out of the stairwell door. He was panting raggedly and, for a stray second, Yugi wondered if he had a wedgie as well.

"S-Stop right there! I got you now!" Randy yelled at them, holding out a hand. The hikaris blinked at him.

"Look," Ryou said, "Malik, its that man whose foot you ran over earlier."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really!" Randy shouted, obviously outraged at having been forgotten so quickly. "Now halt, you hooligans! Halt or I'll shoot!" He reached back in his utility belt and grabbed an orange baton and brandishing it in front of them before he himself realized it was not a gun. He blinked in shock.

Yugi pursed his lips together tightly. "Shoot us? With your traffic-stick?"

"Um… but…" Randy was speechless.

"Let's go," Ryou said to his friends and they nodded, entering the door and Randy watched, still stunned, as it swung in his face.

The boys entered a large room that was bright with buttons and monitors flashing around them. There was rows of computers and at the front of the room was a large monitor that showed the large concrete area the boys had seen earlier only this time, the launching pad had a large rocket set upright and obviously ready for launch.

A scientist standing by one of the computers whirled around at their entrance, crying out, "Jack, Harriet, Tucker! There you are, we were worried sick. That's the last time we let the three of you go to the bathroom all at once. Well, get over here, we don't have very long."

The hikaris looked around, confused. Yugi's light bulb flashed first and he whispered to the other two, "He means us, guys. He thinks we're the astronauts."

Malik smiled. "Wow, great. Let's go then."

"Come on, come on," the man ushered them over and directed them to three space suits. They began to put them on, having the backs zipped up and Ryou squeaked timidly, having the zipped close in on his hair for a hot second. Malik had no trouble with his but when it was completely zipped on Yugi, he fell about three feet short, looking like a child inside it.

"Hmm," the scientist examined the poor teenager. "This suit fit all right in the rehearsal. Harriet, have you lost weight?"

"Well, I don't think so but—_Harriet?_"

Malik elbowed Yugi. "That's your _name_." He winked non too secretly.

Yugi whined, "Why am I the girl?"

The scientist thought this all to be a bit odd but hadn't the chance to say anything about it because, just then, the door burst open with Randy sweating and panting behind it. He trudged into the room, his baton wielded like a sword.

"S-Sir, step away from these imposters!"

"Imposters?"

"That's right! These aren't the real astronauts! They're hooligans from the street! They broke in through the front gates and broke my freaking foot!" He pointed the baton down at the broken and bleeding foot.

The man looked more than skeptical as he crossed his arms. "Randy, quite frankly, I'm getting tired of your weekly shenanigans. Last week, the swamp monster was raiding the faculty fridge and the week before that, Dracula was messing with the rocket's controls. Now, suddenly, these three who we've worked with for _years_ are imposters. Where will it end?"

"But those things really _did_ happen—"

"Silence. I've heard enough, Randy. You'll be lucky if I don't fire you later but for now, we have a launch to get underway and I don't need you… Hey, where'd they go?" The two men looked around for the three hikaris but they were no where to be found.

Suddenly the rocket on the large screen at the head of the room showed three figures in astronaut garments running towards the open door of the space shuttle. One of the figures was obviously having trouble running in his large suit.

Randy's eyes widened. "Bastards!" he shouted and went off to the other door, limping and growling.

"You leave them alone," the scientist called after him, "you hear me, Randy?"

Outside on the launching pad, the three boys were running across the way to the door that they saw had opened about a minute ago. Yugi kept tripping over the feet to his outfit and the helmet that came with it slid down over his face making it almost impossible for him to navigate his way with the other two.

"C-Come on, Yugi," Ryou panted as he ran side-by-side with Malik. He looked back at the shortest hikari as he staggered around in a dizzy circle. "Run towards the shuttle, you goose!"

"I would if I could but I can't so obviously SOMEONE NEEDS TO HELP ME!"

"It's okay, Yugi," Malik said. "Just follow the sound of my voice!"

There was a pause.

"Well, you have to keep talking then!" Yugi shouted, irritated.

"Stop, you hooligans!" Randy yelled, coming out of the door after them. Even with his busted foot, he was gaining on Yugi terribly quickly. "Come back here!"

"M-Malik? Is that you?" Yugi began to wander blindly to Randy with his hands outstretched.

Malik and Ryou saw this and gasped soundlessly. "No!" Ryou yelled. "No, Yugi, wrong way!"

"This way!" Malik screamed. "Come to me!"

"Come here," Randy growled.

"Guys, this isn't funny! Where are you?" Yugi called and by the sound of the young teen's voice, he was close to or in tears. Suddenly he yelped when he felt two large arms around his torso and Ryou and Malik had seen that Randy got a hold of him.

Ryou shrieked. "Yugi! Oh no! Malik, do something!"

"Um… um… oh gosh…" Malik looked around, obviously at a lose for what to do. Yugi and Ryou were both wailing uncontrollably and Randy was laughing like a madman. But before Malik could do anything, a butt-load of security came bursting through the doors they themselves had come through. The men in uniforms exactly like Randy's (only whose utility belts had real guns instead of tiny batons) apprehended Randy and let Yugi loose.

"W-What are you doing!" Randy protested. "They're going to get away!"

"Shut up, you!" A man pistol-whipped Randy across the face. Randy yapped and the guard who'd done it whispered to his cohorts, "I've always wanted to do that."

Yugi was sobbing by the time he reached his friends and they all shuffled hurriedly into the shuttle, the doors closing behind them and they hadn't been aware but the whole time that had been happening, the countdown was going on and as soon as Yugi walked in, the door shut and the engines revved up.

* * *

This airport wasn't so different than Domino International, the chibis noticed. There were loads of people, the norm for a building this size but finding the exit wasn't all that hard. They came to it without further interruption and, on the way out, Bakura had asked why they didn't try to just find another plane in order to leave Melbourne and get to New Zealand that way.

"Cause," Yami said lightly, walking through the automatic doors and onto the sidewalk with the other two joining him, "I dun wanna chance meetin' up wid anoder one uh Marty's kind. Pwane trabel is too confined."

Bakura nodded. "So, wat do we do now?"

Yami opened his mouth to speak and then, just as quickly, closed it. He shrugged.

They both looked at Marik who was grinning from tiny ear to tiny ear. "Wucky for you, I gots a pwan."

"Oh, weally?" Yami cocked his head to the side. "Wat?"

"Neber you mind, Phawoah. Wets jus find out which way New Zeawand is and head dat way."

"Um… well…" Yami looked around and thought back to those geography lessons he'd had going to school with his hikari. "Uh… New Zeawand should be east uh here. Dat way." He pointed.

So the three little chibis began walking down the sidewalk, joining the foot-traffic. They weren't hassled but they did garner more than their fair share of attention what with them being so small and cute and Bakura still only had on a shirt, having given up his pants in Domino International.

"Yer dwawin' attention agwain, 'Kura," Yami said worriedly.

"Well, _sowee_." Bakura rolled his eyes. "I cwant hewp it if people're attracted to mah manwiness."

Marik cackled. "Manwiness mah foot, you're eben smawer now den you were when you were big," he said, pointing to Bakura's groin. Bakura growled and jumped on Marik and they began to fight.

Yami almost stopped walking to break them up but, at the last second, decided against it. 'Let em fwight. I ain't got time for dis stuff, I gotta get at New Zeawand,' he thought and began to walk on. As he did, taking his tiny chibi steps, he thought about all the problems they had caused so far and thought about the sure-fire future problems. And, after all, even though they may sometimes tolerate each other, they all really hated one another. And was that really a way to travel? With enemies?

Yami shook his head, answering himself no. But he stopped nonetheless, turned around and went back to them, getting into the middle of their fight and getting scratched up a fair bit before breaking them up. They stood, arguing still and walked along side Yami. He frowned at them and, unknowingly, enjoyed the sound of their hating each other.

'It'd prowaby be weird any oder way,' he thought.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Thanks for reading! Please drop me a review! 


	12. Babes In The Barrel

Her Sweetness: Hello, all. Thank you for your kind reviews. This is my last weekend of the school year. Know what that means, right? After I take my vacation next weekend, you can count on much faster updates! And I can expect faster reviews. Ha ha.

That said, it's time to rock.

* * *

Rascals R Wee 

Chapter 12:

The sun was starting to set. It had been almost a whole day since each of the chibi yamis had crept out of their houses and away form their overbearing hikaris. The plane ride had taken up a lot of time and the fact that they had had a horrible pedophile on their tails had made the ride seem twice as long. Maybe if they hadn't been so tiny, the day would not have taken so much out of them but, as it was, they were very tired.

"Ugh… guys… can we stwop somewhere an' west for da night? It's gonna be gettin' dark in a wittle bit," Yami said, once walking in front of the two but now lagging behind. He struggled to keep up, his hair drooping.

The streetlights were starting to blink and then shine brightly.

Marik looked back in annoyance. "Wisten, Phawoah, maybe you spoiled woyalty types cant handle a bit uh fatigue but me an' Kura are wough! So stwick it out er we'll weave ya behind!" Marik had looked mean and full of energy when he spoke harshly to Yami but as he turned around, a tiredness filled his lavender eyes.

"A-Awent you tired, Kura?" Yami asked desperately.

"Nup."

Marik was glad that Bakura was putting up a brave front as well but when he looked at his companion, Bakura seemed to be just fine as he walked along, even with a bounce in his step. As Yami moaned and groaned behind them, Marik whispered, "Y… Ya weally not tired, Kura?"

"'Course not. I'mma creature uh darkness! I love bein' out at night!" He cheered.

"Well, _I_ am too! It's just dat… dat…"

"Dat what?"

"…" Marik couldn't think of anything to say so he shut up.

There was five more minutes of silence during which the chibis shuffled along and normal people walked passed them, some curious about the young boys and others too tired from their long day to care about anything other than home. The sun was dipping low over the horizon and the sky was steeped in orange and pink sorbet, the lampposts little points of light up and down the sidewalks.

Bakura continued to bop along to the right of Marik and Yami still lagged. All of a sudden, Bakura's tummy began to growl. He stopped and Yami ran into him but Bakura didn't seem to notice. He was too enthralled with something he'd seen on the sidewalk.

"Golly, Kura, what da heck didya stwop for?" Yami whined.

Bakura bent down and pulled on a tootsie pop that was stuck to the cement. He yanked it free and lifted it to his mouth.

"Hey!" Yami gasped, smacking Bakura's hand, "Ya cwant eat dat! It's been on da _gwound_!"

"Let em eat it," Marik said morosely. "If he doesn't die fwom it, den we know it s'okay for us ta eat fwom."

Yami pouted.

Bakura took a chomp out of it and chewed thoughtfully.

"Well…?" Yami and Marik asked, leaning towards the tootsie pop. They hadn't thought about it until just now but they were, in fact, hungry.

"Hey," Bakura said happily, "this ting's got crunchy bits!"

"Cwunchy…" Yami thought.

Marik shook his head. "I'm not eatin' dat. Enjoy, you two."

"No tanks," Yami muttered when Bakura offered him some of the pop.

So they continued to walk and, finally, the scenery of the city began to fade and by the time the moon rose they came to a harbor. Ships were docked and some sailed past each other in the water and off, way off, in the distance, there was the form of land.

Yami perked up as they came to the top of the road and a smile lit up his face. "Dere it is! I bet dats New Zeawand way off dere!"

"Finawy," Bakura said with a mouth full of crunchy lolly.

"Muahahahahaha!" Marik cackled. "Here is where my pwan comes inta action."

"Was it yer pwan all awong ta have us sail ta New Zeawand?" Yami asked.

"Dats wight."

"Um… but, Mawik, we're too smaw ta—"

"Grrr. Grrrkkk. Zakkk."

Both Yami and Marik looked up from their conversation to Bakura who was gnawing on his crunching treat quite intensely, making horrid noises while doing so. Marik and Yami stared. Bakura looked up and blushed and then returned to his duty.

"So… anyway…" Yami coughed. "I was sayin dat we're too smaw ta take a boat ta New Zeawand. It'd be a disasta an we'd prolly dwown an die."

Marik raised an eyebrow. "Yer morbid, dats what you are, Yami. But I aweady took yer death-obsession inta considewation an so we're gonna wide in a boat _our_ size."

Yami blinked and looked around. "But… but dere is none!"

"Dat's what you tink."

They made their way down the street and onto the pier where the boats were docked. The chibis craned their tiny necks up at the ships and looked down the line. All of them were too big for toddlers to operate.

"See? Dere too big," Yami said and folded his arms.

Marik smacked him. "Idiot! Dun doubt me." He began to walk down the dock with his companions in tow and stopped at the end, just some bare planks, a bucket of chum and a few empty fish barrels. Marik walked on a plank and looked a wooden barrel that was about as tall as he was. He patted the side meaningfully and turned to Yami and Bakura.

"Dis baby'll do jus fwine. Hewp me wid it, Kura." Marik got behind the barrel.

"Wighty-o." Bakura threw his clean tootsie pop stick into the ocean and joined Marik at the barrel's side. They gave it a hard shove and it toppled over and fell into the water, face up.

Marik hopped in with two planks in hand and the water beside the barrel made a minute wave. Bakura hopped in next. They spread out a bit and made room for Yami.

When Yami did nothing but stare with his large amethyst eyes, Marik frowned. "Wat? Not good enough for da almighty Phawaoh?"

"I… It's not dat…"

"Den hop in!"

"I _cwant_…"

"Why?"

"Well, who knows how wong its been dere an it smells wike fish… pwus, we might get wun ova by bigga boats if we trabel in dat!"

Marik's eyes darkened. "Wisten. I'm tired an hungwy an I'm sick uh hearin' yer mouth! If you don't wanna get in, I'm weavin' you!"

"But—"

Yami's reply was cut short as Bakura whacked him over the head with the plank he held and Yami fell unconsciously into the makeshift boat. "All aboard!" Bakura shouted and Marik grinned at him. Both he and Bakura put their planks over the sides and used their tiny arms to paddle off into the night.

* * *

The space shuttle that had launch from Domino's NASA center was now out of the Earth's atmosphere and was gaining speed as it went at a tilt upwards. 

"We're in deep trouble, guys."

"Why do you say that, Yugi?"

"Because we don't know how to pilot a shuttle! We're going to crash and burn!" Yugi cried, hands on his cheeks.

Ryou patted Yugi on the back, obviously over the exchange he and Yugi had about underwear earlier. "Don't worry. I'm not sure but I think these crafts have their destination already programmed into their navigation system. Which, um, reminds me… Malik, I thought of this while we were running from that horrid guard. Just how do we know this particular shuttle is heading for Jupiter?"

"…"

"…"

Malik was silent, as was Yugi.

All three hikaris looked at each other.

Suddenly, Yugi screamed and jumped on top of Malik, clawing and shrieking. "I TOLD YOU! THIS IDEA OF YOURS WAS DOOMED FROM THE START! WE'RE PROBABLY HEADING FOR PLUTO!"

"Help, help!" Malik screeched. "Yugi's gone rabid!"

Ryou jumped in, tugging on Yugi's legs. "Come on now, Yugi! This isn't helping the situation!"

With some more yanking on Ryou's part, Yugi popped off of Malik and sat on the floor, sulking. "This is just peachy," he grumbled, looking at the taller hikaris. "We have no idea where we're going…"

Ryou nodded softly. "And with the limited food supply probably on here, we're sure to die miserably and painfully of starvation."

Both Malik and Yugi looked at him with their lips pursed.

"Yeah, way to make us feel better," Malik said.

Ryou blushed. "I-I'm sorry…"

Some time passed.

Yugi sighed sadly after the silence between the three of them. "Listen, you guys… since you're the ones I'm going to die with, I'd like to confess some things… I-I'm not the innocent little hikari everyone makes me out to be…"

Malik shrugged as he eyed Ryou. "Who is," he said unenthusiastically. "So what is it you want to confess?"

Yugi looked at their understanding expressions and then back to the shiny, metal floor. "Well… remember that panty-raid our neighborhood went through a few weeks ago?"

"I'll say," Malik cried, waving his hands about. "All my good thongs gone with some loony pervert!"

"Ahem. That _loony pervert _was me."

Malik blinked.

"But why, Yugi? Why do it?" Ryou asked.

"I didn't do it on purpose! I was sleep walking! Yami knows. But, see, when I woke up the next morning, I just… liked them so much, I…"

"Didn't want to give them back?" Malik raised an eyebrow.

"Right…"

"Humph."

"I'm sorry!"

Ryou coughed twice, putting all the attention on him momentarily. "While we're making confessions here, I'd like to come clean as well, Malik… When we were at the beauty salon that one time and everyone was talking about how you had gotten airbrushed when you did those pictures for PlayGirl, that really was _me_ who told… not Yugi."

Yugi gaped.

Malik was steaming. "What? Ryou! I gave Yugi the silent treatment for a week for that!"

"I'm so sorry!" Ryou wailed and fell backwards, hitting the control panel of the shuttle. He fell on a large red button labeled 'Emergency Landing' and as soon as he did, the lights in the room flashed red and a loud beeping sound came over them all. They screamed and flailed as the shuttle turned downwards and began to come back through the Earth's atmosphere. The hikaris had no idea what was going on and they were all soon in tears.

The shuttle continued it's descent at an alarming rate into the abyss.

* * *

The waters between Australia and New Zealand were calm this night except for the little barrel floating along in the middle. The barrel, however, floated much slower than it had started off. The two chibis who were rowing the thing were quite tuckered out now. 

Bakura huffed. "W-Why're we doin all da work? Yami an his dumb butt should be wup here wowin'!"

"I know dat but he's still KOed!"

Bakura sighed, regretting knocking the tiny Pharaoh out. They rowed in silence for a little while more and the moon cast it's likeness on the dark waters that the barrel waded through. Bakura looked over the side, starring at his chibified face in the moving water. Then, in the darkness, he felt something bump his plank and a large shadow moved underneath their barrel.

"M-Mawik…" Bakura stuttered and backed up, dropping his plank into the water.

"Wat? … Kura! Ya dwopped it!"

"Dere's sometin' down dere!"

Marik pursed his lips at the small thief. "We're in da ocean, dere's prolly a _dousand _tings down dere! Get yer paddle!"

"No way, dere's weally sometin down dere!"

Marik and Bakura glared at each other. Yami, who had been asleep on the floor between their feet, was not stirring because of the two yamis who had been yelling at each other. He lifted his head sleepily and got to his feet, being greeted by the sight of water surrounding their little barrel on all sides.

Yami's eyes were wide. "W-Wat happened! Gwuys, we shouldn't have taken dis ting out on da sea! We'll get eated by a sea monster!"

Bakura gasped.

Marik slapped his forehead. "Here we go…"

"Was wong, Kura?" Yami asked.

Bakura looked even paler than he usually did. "D-Dere's a sea monster below us…"

"Eek!" Yami shrieked.

"Stwop it!" Bakura covered his mouth and shook the little Pharaoh violently. "Stwop dat yellin', ya want him ta come up here and eat us?"

Yami shook his head, eyes wide and fearful.

Marik, meanwhile, had walked the very short distance cross the barrel's floor and reached over the side, trying to reach Bakura's paddle. "Stwupid babies," he grumbled, "always goin' on bout stupid stuff… sea monster my ass… dey worse den Malik… grr… WHY CAN'T I WEACH IT?" he yelled wildly, tipping almost over the edge in order to get the piece of wood.

"No, Mawik!" Yami and Bakura shouted jointly and tried to pull him back into their boat. "Don't!"

"Wet go uh me!" Marik flailed around in their arms and, seeing as how the chibis weren't as strong as they once were, Marik slipped out of their grasp like a little fish and plopped into the water.

Yami gasped and looked over the side, calling Marik's name.

Bakura shook his head. "He's a gona."

Suddenly, there was a little splash that scared a yelp out of Bakura and Yami but it was just Marik's blonde head popping out of the water. He was holding onto the plank in order to stay afloat and his piercing lavender eyes were narrowed at his companions.

"See wat yer idiocy did?"

"Well, if ya didn't fwail—"

"Get me back in da boat!"

"But the monst—"

"_Dere is no monster!_"

There was an abrupt rock of the barrel. It jumped in the water a little and there was a loud bonking sound. Marik moved a little and shrieked. He yelled, "Someting touched mah leg!"

Both Yami and Bakura looked at each other and all of a sudden, a huge wave broke in the stillness of the water and the little barrel were rocketing the left as a dark figure rose from the wave, drops and sheets of water raining down on the chibis. Marik struggled to hang on to the plank and went swirling the other way from the barrel. A fifty foot tentacle was looming above them.

Bakura pointed to it, screaming, "I fwucking knew it!"

Marik was heard somewhere in the distance, shouting back, "So wat!"

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Review, please! 


	13. The Crab Epidemic

Her Sweetness: Hey, guys, I'm so sorry this is out so late. I got hit with the biggest case of writer's block! Bad timing, right? That's okay, though, I'm trying… kinda… haha, and it's terrible because I have ANOTHER vacation coming up next week!

I'll try to get more chapters out this weekend as well. Wish me luck!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 13:

The tentacle towered above the now rampant sea, waves rolling back and forth from the disturbance of the now visible monster. Yami and Bakura were still in the barrel, hanging onto the side with their chubby, little hands as their vessel went swirling in the wave up to the tentacle. They both had lost sight of Marik but that was not really their main concern at the moment. At least not Bakura's.

Through the gallons of water that wash over him, Yami shouted to his white-haired companion, "'Kura! Ya see Mawik?"

"See Mawik? Get yer pwiorities in orda! We're about ta be fish-food!"

"But—"

"Move!" Bakura yelled as yet another suction-cupped appendage rose from the water and slammed down not five feet away from their tiny barrel. As the barrel popped clear out of the water again, the first, larger tentacle wrapped around them and held the barrel twenty feet out of the water.

Beneath them, the water parted as a grotesque face came up, the slick, tight skin of a giant squid. Its beady, black eyes opened wide as did its mouth and rows upon rows of sharp, seaweed covered teeth were revealed. It let out a loud, mind-shattering shriek into the dark of the night and the two chibis that hovered above it, held onto their ears and each other.

"D-Dis is de end!" Yami sobbed into Bakura's soaking wet shirt.

Bakura howled his sorrows as well and all seemed lost.

Little did the two chibis know, their third companion was at the base of the tentacle that they were attached to. Marik had paddled his way back to it and was now on the water's surface with his plank. Quickly, seeing his fellow yamis were in danger, he viciously bit off two large chunks of the wooden plank, causing a sharp point on one side. He grunted as he jabbed the plank into the tentacle, causing another shriek from the monster.

Marik used his tiny arms to lift himself out of the rushing waters and hopped onto the plank, taking the wood out promptly from under his feet and shoving it back into the thick skin a few feet higher, continuing in climbing upwards.

"D-Don' worry, you swissies," he panted through sheets of water being poured onto him as the monster's appendages shook with rage and pain. "I'm comin'!" he yelled and at first his tiny figure didn't register with the frightened Bakura and Yami but through their screams of terror, Yami opened his eyes and saw Marik making his way up the tentacle.

"Mawik! No, it's dangewous!" Yami called out to him.

By this time, Bakura had noticed the other boy's presence as well and he bonked Yami on the head. "Don' wisten to 'em," he yelled to Mawik. "Get yer butt ova here!"

Marik paid the two little attention and was now swinging faster and faster with his plank, leaving bloody gashes in his wake. He managed to make it up half way before the monster had figured out where that annoying pain was coming from and two more tentacles shot up from the grimy deep. The Egyptian chibis cried out in shock and alarm as one of them came ramming into the tentacle he was on, and barely missing him by a few feet.

He changed course a bit and shifted to the right, pulling the plank out and jamming it in again further up. The second tentacle came in this time and in order to dodge it, Marik stood at the edge of the plank, standing over the treacherous waters. He made a worried noise in the back of his throat and, when both tentacles came at him, he jumped off of the plank, grabbing it as he fell down and onto another of the monster's limbs.

There was a small thud as he fell onto it and the plank hit him in the face. He stood quickly, seeing that the tentacle he was now on rose higher and higher until he was at level with Yami and Bakura.

Marik raised his hand over his eyes and wiped away the moisture there. "Ra damn you two!" he said. "Dis is all yer fawlt!"

"Jus wat would you wike us to do 'bout it?" Bakura frowned and then joined the other two in a group shriek as the monster shook all of its tentacles wildly. Marik was shaken so hard that he went flying into the barrel about five feet away with the other two inside it. Without wasting any time, he yelled and jammed the point of the plank into the monster's limb and drove it all the way inside.

"_GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKK!_"

The tentacle jerked back violently and then lunged foreword, tossing the barrel and the chibis out of it's reach and a long, terrified cry followed the boys as they plopped into the dark water and the monster receded.

* * *

It was dark. Malik could see nothing but maybe that was because his eyes weren't open. He had the distinct feeling that if he moved, whatever happened to be broken in his body would fall apart and he would instantly die. Though that feeling mustn't have been too strong because he moved eventually, getting up on his elbows and opening his lavender eyes, blinking twice and still seeing nothing.

He coughed and held his head with one hand as he had a growing headache. "Urg… Y-Yugi?" He looked up and realized that his two friends didn't seem to be anywhere around. "Ryou? You guys?"

Starting to panic, he rose quickly and bumped his head on something hard, resulting in a metallic sounding thump and Malik back down on his knees, whining and howling.

"Malik?"

Malik looked up at hearing his name.

"Malik, you're awake? Come out here!" Suddenly a bit of light came into this dark place and Malik crawled toward it, coming out onto soft grass and being greeted by Ryou and Yugi's concerned faces.

"There you are," Ryou said to him as he crawled out of what was, incidentally, the upside down shuttle. "We were worried about you for a while there. But we didn't want to move you in case something was broken."

"Um. But. I…" Malik looked around and surveyed the area in a swooping glance. The stars and moon were shining brightly out in the almost black sky and the trees that surrounded them were green and luscious. There was an obviously horrid area behind their shuttle that seemed to once be full of vegetation but was destroyed in the crash. A long, dirt-covered and broken-tree scattered trail was left.

Yugi shook his head, his fist planted on his hips. "Yep," he said. "I just knew that Jupiter thing wasn't going to work. We're back on Earth, thank goodness."

"Thank goodness?" Malik asked. "Don't you want our yamis back?"

"They were never on Jupiter!"

"You don't know that," Malik huffed.

Ryou frowned at the two of them. "Alright, that's enough, you two. No fighting is necessary, we're all after one common goal. No need to act like our yamis."

Despite the obvious common sense in what Ryou said, the two teens seemed to ignore him and carry on into what was sure to not end well.

"And now," Yugi continued, "we don't even know where the heck we are! We probably couldn't be further from our yamis!"

"At least I had an idea!" Malik shot back. "All you ever did was whine about your stupid skunk-attack!"

"You're just like your yami, Malik, everything you touch turns to suck!"

"Take that back, you midget!"

"Make me, four-eyes!"

There was a long pause.

Ryou looked at Yugi. "Four-eyes? Where'd that come from?"

"Sorry," Yugi shrugged. "I was so caught up in the moment, I just called him anything that came to mind. Kinda new at this."

Ryou and Malik nodded. "We can tell."

"_Anyways_," Yugi insisted, trying to chance the course of their conversation. "Arguing would get us no where. We need to find out where we are. We didn't wake up too much earlier than you did, Malik, and we didn't want you to wake up and be alone so we have secured a perimeter."

"Look whose gone all CIA."

"Aw, come on, what do you want me to say? Scout the area? Nothing's going to sound good under these conditions."

Malik shrugged. "You think we're anywhere near Domino?"

"Doubt it," Ryou shook his head. "Everywhere around Domino is all urbanized. We're definitely somewhere in the boonies."

They all looked around again and, finally, group-sighed. "Fabulous."

* * *

The next morning dawned as a blue and silver line of light over the beach's horizon. The waters were calm and delivered white foam to the shores and the small legs of an ex-thief. The water was cold and the tiny chibi jerked awake.

He got to his feet and looked to his left. A few yards away was Yami who had a clump of seaweed on his head. Bakura looked around some more before getting up and walking over the Pharaoh.

"Yami," he said and nudged him with his foot. "Get up!"

"Wuh… huh…? 'Kura?" Yami lifted his head and shook the seaweed off. Unfortunately, seaweed was not the only thing atop the boy's head. There was also a rather large sand crab as well which happened to scare the crap out of Yami.

"WAH!" the young prince screamed and hopped around on the beach, his arms outstretched and his legs moving as fast as they could.

Bakura watched this spectacle for a moment and then called to him, "Stwop pwayin', Yami! Wat happened ta Mawik? I dun see him no wheres."

"I GOTS A CWAB ON MAH HEAD!" Yami wailed.

"Yami! Yami, dwamn it, cawm down!" Bakura walked over to him, with intentions of helping. "Howd still!"

Yami was too frantic to realize what Bakura was trying to do and so he flailed all over the white-haired thief and ended up bonking him on the head multiple times.

"Ah! Stwop! Stwop!"

Suddenly, out of no where, a chunk of wood came whizzing from the clumps of trees just beyond the sands of the beach and clonked Yami right in the head. He fell down and the crab crawled off of him and went away.

Bakura blinked and looked around. "God? Was dat you?"

Yami gripped his head. "Dat hurt… it hurt a lot!"

"Dun worry, yer okay," came Marik's voice from somewhere in the vicinity.

"Dat's not for you ta say!" Yami yelled, looking up and seeing the tiny Marik sitting in a tree, grinning from ear to ear.

"Mawik!" Bakura yelled and ran over to the base of the tree. "Whaddya doin' up dere?"

"I got t'rown here last night when dat monster t'rew us. You guys ended up on da beach. I been waitin' for you guys at get up so someone could hewp me get down fwom here."

Bakura held out his arms and closed his eyes tightly, knowing this would probably result in an owie. Marik jumped and, yes, there was pain.

By the time Bakura and Marik had popped their spines back into place, Yami had made his way over to them. "Ey, tanks for rescuin' us wast night, Mawik," he said bashfully.

Marik nodded and patted Yami on the head. "S'okay. Afta all, dats wat a weader is for. Rescuin' his swissified twoops fwom pewil."

Yami gaped. "Swissified—?"

"Weader?" Bakura asked, disgusted.

"Anyways," Marik said before an argument could break out amongst his "troops", "we made it ta New Zeawand. Dis is wat ya wanted, wight, Yami? So wats next?"

Yami's amethyst eyes widened a bit and he smiled. "We are here," he said softly, "an' soon we'll be back ta big." He turned around and reached into his big-boy pull-up pampers and pulled out the book 'Classic Children's Tales,' flipping it open to the story of The Magic Wish.

Marik and Bakura looked at it each other and then backed up a step, careful not to touch the book.

"Mmkay… well, da book says dat if we find da spwing wid wemur pee in it, da Wizard will show up an' grant us our wish. So wets find dat spwing!"

The other two nodded their understanding and the three of them started into the forest. None of them noticed the dark figure in the brush watching as they ventured foreword.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Review, please, I promise to get the next chapter out soon! 


	14. Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

Her Sweetness: Ha! Pretty damn fast, huh? Told you.

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 14:

As the chibis trudged through the undergrowth on the basin, Bakura said out of nowhere, "I tink I gots a bug stuck in mah crack."

Marik frowned.

Yami groaned loudly. "_Why _would ya tell us dat?"

"It reawy itches," he whined and tried to reach behind himself with his stubby arms. "I cant weach it, can someone get it?"

"'Kura, dat's disgustin'!" Yami shivered and began to walk faster.

In order to avoid being chosen to help with this slightly horrifying task, Marik ran to catch up with Yami and Bakura ran after them, yelling about lack of comradeship and an excess of bugs in his crack.

* * *

The hikaris had yet to figure out where they were but as soon as it was dawn, they set out on the land, trying to find civilization. They left the sight of their fallen shuttle and Ryou's only concern was that whenever they returned to Domino, the people at NASA would have their heads for crashing a multi-billion dollar investment.

They found a way around some of the thick clustered trees and down into a green valley, with a cobblestone road going down and beyond distant hills. Malik tried to ease his friend's conscience as they went along, saying, "Don't worry, Ryou. The worst they could do is sue us and are they going to get a billion dollars from any one of us?"

Yugi shook his head.

Ryou sighed.

"So, therefore," Malik wagged his finger out in front of him, "we have nothing to worry about."

"But we could lose our houses," Ryou insisted.

"We'll live in boxes!" Malik proclaimed.

Yugi pursed his lips. He said flatly, "We won't be able to afford hair gel."

Malik's eyes popped open. "Oh shit."

"Knew you'd see it our way."

The sound of their shoes clacking on the stones below was the only sound for a while as they walked side-by-side and Malik sulked a bit. "Well," he said finally, "that's not until later… We have to find our yamis first."

"But we have no idea where they're at," Yugi said morosely, "they could be anywhere and so could we!"

"Bahh…"

An odd sound came from the vicinity and all three hikaris looked up at once, finding themselves amidst a flock of sheep. They fluffy, white animals were herding themselves up the hill and off the road. Ryou whipped his head around to see that they were crossing the cobblestone path and, a little ways away, he could hear a human voice.

He got very excited and started up the hill along with the sheep that didn't seem to pay him any mind. "Come on, you guys!" he said to them, "I hear someone up there! Surely the person who takes care of the sheep could tell us where we are, maybe even give us a ride to the next town."

Malik and Yugi smiled at each other and followed suit.

"Finally, some luck," Yugi said happily.

They followed the flock up the hill for a while and when they reached the top, the could see another valley in which the sheep were grazing peacefully.

"Well, where's the farmer?" Malik wondered aloud.

They surveyed the land carefully and then, Ryou called, "There he is! There… he… is…? What's… what's he doing?"

"I-I dunno," Yugi stuttered, his eyes wide.

Over by a wooden fence that separated the grazing pasture from the rest of the field and, beyond that, another forest, was a man in brown overalls, seeming to be pushing a sheep through the fence. However, instead of going through the fence, the sheep just kept moving back and forth and "bahh"ing quite a lot.

Malik covered his mouth with one hand. "Lord," he said, muffled.

"Um… Yugi, be a dear and go ask that man for directions to the nearest town, yes?" Ryou asked in a somewhat forced cheeriness as he scooted the smaller hikari to the front of the group.

Yugi shook his head mutely with a horrified look on his face.

"Yugi, don't be a chicken," Malik chided. "Listen, we'll come with you."

"Like hell!" Ryou exclaimed. He tapped Malik on the head and whispered harshly, "Are you insane?"

"Come on, come on," he said. "It's probably not what we think."

So with a bit more reinforcement (namely grabbing the tail of Ryou's shirt before he could run off in the opposite direction) Malik managed to get the boys down the hill and they waded through the flock of sheep until they were a few feet behind the man who was still doing whatever it was that he was doing.

Yugi was still in front of the group and he timidly cleared his throat. "Excuse me, sir—"

"Wuh! Woah!" The man jerked around, at the same time zipping up his pants. He had a crazed look in his eye and he was very sweaty from some unknown strenuous activity. He scared the living daylights out of the three teens and they all jumped back at least two feet. The sheep, finally free, ran back to join its herd.

"What the heck are you kids doin' round here?" he asked nervously.

Ryou was blushing furiously and he bowed over and over again to the farmer. "W-We're so sorry to intrude! We just wanted to know where the nearest town is!"

The farmer blinked. "Well… uh…" He seemed to need a moment to collect his thoughts.

While both Yugi and Ryou were regretting ever coming over here, Malik, who was a vegan and an animal rights activist, was not so bashful and he leered at the man over Yugi's wild spikes.

"So just what were you doing to that poor sheep, huh?" Malik asked.

Ryou gaped soundlessly.

"Urr, uh, nothin'!" he replied, reaching under his hat to scratch his messy brown hair, "Just that sometimes—the sheep are so stubborn, y'know—a sheep needs a little help gettin' through the fence."

"We're five feet away from the fence!"

"Um… really?"

"Yeah, really!"

"Stop!" Yugi screeched, his hands on his ears. "Stop, no more! Please, sir," Yugi looked up to the man, "just tell us where we are so we can be on our way!"

He blinked. "Well, you're in New Zealand, boy. Southern Island."

Yugi calmed down and sighed tiredly. "New Zealand… great. Thanks."

"Welcome. Now, uh, next time you all plan on stoppin' by, just, uh… give a holler first, alright?"

Malik glared. "Oh, don't worry, we won't be back here again. Pervert!" and with that, the three departed, jumping over the fence and continuing in a downward slop until they hit the cobblestone road again on the other side.

When they were far enough away, Ryou looked to his friend. "Malik, are you all right?"

"I'm fine… it's just people like that make my blood boil! They're the reason animals are afraid to go out at night!"

Yugi glanced at him.

"Poor sheep," he crooned. "We should have saved them!"

"And done what with them? We need saving _ourselves_, Malik," Ryou reminded.

"How can you say that, Ryou? _We're_ not the ones being taken against our will by a scruffy old farmer!"

"_Thank God_."

* * *

Somewhere in the density of one of Nez Zealand's forests, the chibis had found themselves a decent pace to travel at what with Bakura's problem solved by a twig. They kept going for a while undisturbed until a low, rumbling sound came from Yami's stomach. Both Marik and Bakura looked back at him and he blushed, crossing his arms shyly over his belly.

"I… I guess I'm hungwy…"

Bakura blinked at him. "Know wat? So am I. Mawik, wets find sometin' ta cook an' eat."

Yami frowned. "No meat! Even if I wanted it, we're too smaw ta kill sometin', it'd eat us fiwst. Pwease, cant we jus get some mushwooms er sometin'?"

"Mushwooms!" Marik exclaimed. "Der you go again, twyin' ta kill us!"

"But—"

"Nah," Bakura said, looking at Yami decisively. "He ain't twyin' ta kill us, he's twyin' ta get us all loopy so he can wun off and find our hikawis by himsef."

"Dat's nuts!"

"It is nuts. You shwould be ashamed."

"Stwop dat! I'm not twyin' ta do anythin' like dat so just—"

And before that sentence could be finished, all three chibis were silenced by a rustling in the underbrush just beyond them. Green bushes at the foot of a tall tree shook and shivered and, in the three to four seconds that took place, the three chibis were cowering in fear behind one another.

Suddenly, from out of the bush, came a pork chop sandwich. It plopped down on the dirt in front of them.

Yami blinked. "Wat… is dat?"

"It's a sammich!" Bakura cried out in happiness. "Our pwobwem is soved!"

"Y-Ya gotta be kiddin' me!" Yami yelled and grabbed Bakura's legs as he jumped for the food. "Stwop! Dis jus weeks uh twouble!"

"Aw, come on!" Bakura glared back at him. "Wat could be wong wid fwee food?"

Marik tapped his chin, considering. He walked around his two companions and looked at the sandwich closely. "Why…" he said softly, "would a sammich come out of a bush…? Someone had ta have t'rown it!"

"Finawy!" Yami sighed. "Some common sense!"

Marik nodded at Yami. "Kinda rare wound here, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

"Hey," Bakura objected.

"Now," Marik said, ignoring Bakura's pouts. "Wat shwould we do 'bout dis here sammich? Seems a shame ta wet good food go ta waste."

"Uh huh!" Bakura insisted.

"No. Wets jus' weave it. Weally, I gots a bad feelin' 'bout it! We can eben hunt an animal but, pwease, dis sammich is bad news, guys!"

Marik looked from him to Bakura. His hand was hovering right over the food in question and, in a second, he made his decision.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Yes, it's a bit shorter. What'd you expect, twenty pages? Teehee! Review, please! 


	15. Under the Burrito Sky Part 1

**Disclaimer** I own NOTHING. (This is here for a reason.)

Her Sweetness: Sorry about the delay. A new episode of Hell's Kitchen was on. So… yeah. You know the deal. XD!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 15:

Marik sighed and reached for the sandwich. Bakura was smiling brightly and was ready to taste the yummy pork choppiness of the food but Yami, however, cried out in dismay and right in the instant that Marik's hand touched it, the young prince leapt off of Bakura and tackled Marik with all his force, sending the two rolling under an elevated root of a large tree.

Sounds of frustration followed them and, unfortunately for Bakura who was ready to eat that sandwich all by himself, he was dragged along as his shoelace and Yami's had intertwined and knotted together. The white-haired thief was dragged, kicking and screaming, after his companions who rolled faster and faster over bushes and through thorns.

"W-Wat the hell a-are ya doin', idiot?" Marik yelled at the prince who had hold of him.

"I ain't gunna let ya get us in t-twouble!" Yami yelled back.

"Slow d-down!" Bakura cried from behind them.

As the three of them went tumbling through the greenery, simultaneously scaring away some of the wildlife, the sandwich back at that bush remained untouched. The bush rustled and out popped Marty's head. He narrowed his eyes at the empty spot where the chibis once stood and then at the sandwich.

"Damn you, pork chop sandwich," he mumbled to himself, "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME SO?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Yami, Marik and Bakura were on their way to who knows where, yelling and shouting. Their yells of anger had long since turned to those of fear because they were going downhill and had gained unwanted momentum, adding to their speed. The trees that they passed blurred together and the grass parted and, soon, they were in the air.

All together, they screamed, "AHHHH!"

The cliff they had fallen off of, fortunately, wasn't too big but the dirt path downwards was covered with sharp rocks. The three boys went spiraling off the cliff's edge and were thrown down, some of them hitting rocks, others being able to dodge. At the bottom of the cliff, there was a loud thud coming from Yami and Marik who flipped backwards off a large rock and landed on a hard patch of ground. Bakura came bopping afterwards and landed on top of Yami's head.

"O-Oh Ra!" he moaned, rolling off. "Yami, yer spikes puctuwed holes in mah body! I'm bweeding!"

Yami got up shakily and inspected his companion. "You ain't bweedin."

"… Weally? Felt wike it."

"Be thankful ya didn't land on Mawik's head," he said as they both looked at the blonde chibi dusting himself off.

"Yeah," Bakura nodded. "His head's wike a mace."

"Okay, tanks for da compliments," Marik said, glaring at the too of them. "And just so yous two know, mah hair is soft."

Bakura reached over with his finger extended.

"No, you cwant touch it!" Marik yelled.

"Geez…" Yami looked up from where they had just fallen. "Dat was insane… I take it dat for da west of da twip, none of yas will twy to pick up a fweakin' anonymous pork chop sammich! Off da gwound! Dat ting was prolly poison."

"Ya, poisoned wid yumminess," Bakura insisted. "Why ya always gotta ruin everythin'? I habn't eated since dat lollypop."

"Well, Mawik an I habn't eated in longer! Ya don't see Mawik complainin' bout my descision!"

Marik looked at the young Prince blandly. "Actuawy, dat was a dick move, Yami."

Yami gaped.

Marik sighed, not noticing the shadow passing over Yami's dejected face. "Welp, wets get a move on. No use in standin' here."

"Yep," said Bakura.

They started off again, traveling down the path trodden down by past animals. It was early evening by the time they had to stop to rest again. Being so small, they couldn't walk for the periods of time they used to as teenagers.

Marik sighed and sat down on a small tree truck. "We cwant go on wike dis," he panted, "we weally need food."

Bakura nodded. "It'd be so much easier if our hikaris were here… I wanna be able ta lay my head down on Ryou's chest again an' taste da sweet milk from his—"

"I dun care how you intended to end dat sentence, 'Kura," Marik said, "but I wefuse ta hear more."

Bakura pursed his lips.

Yami sighed. "You guys, we need food. I dun care bout mushwooms no more; get whaever ya want. I'm so hungwy."

"I'll do it," Bakura volunteered, getting up from his spot on the ground. He headed for a patch of woods just beyond the clearing and as he entered the woods, he said, barely audibly, "I should go anyway. I suddenwy gots me an' itch ta kill someting an' I'd hwate ta lose you guys dis earwy."

When he was gone, Marik and Yami exchanged uneasy looks and simultaneously huddled together.

"You sweepin' wid one eye open?"

"You know it."

* * *

In the light of dusk, the sky a grayish-blue and a sandpapery lining just above the trees, Bakura was back in the woods again, searching for food. He had no idea what, at his size, he could catch. He hoped to possibly see a squirrel or a field mouse. In his hand was a small, sharpened rock he'd picked up off the ground to assist him in his hunt.

Birds fluttered their wings in the trees and Bakura thought, after a while, he wouldn't be able to find anything. He thought about climbing a tree to get at a bird but before he explored that idea further, he squealed loudly and looked foreword. He fell back on the grass when he realized he'd almost walked into a small pond.

"Howy cwap!" he shouted and scurried back on all fours.

The water shimmered under the dipping sun and, in a minute, the trees behind Bakura shook and a man with a camera on a dolly walked out. "Hey, guys, we got to get them over here for the next shot," he said, calling back to some people who weren't in Bakura's immediate field of vision.

As more and more people came out, Bakura, sensing possible trouble if they were to see him, jumped behind a rock his size and peeked out on the other side, watching them position their cameras.

"Alright, everybody ready?" a man came out in a green plaid jacket. He joined one of the cameramen, looking through the large lens. "We don't want the water in the shot. Where're the guys? Are they out of costume yet, David?"

"Uh, yeah," he looked back nervously. "We got a problem. Viggo won't come out of his trailer until he gets a low-fat mocha latte with caramel foam and chocolate sprinkles."

"… _What? _He's supposed to be in character! Aragorn would not drink that!"

"Hey, tell that to Viggo."

"Ugh! Where's Orlando? Tell him to get his Elven ass out here."

"Um…"

"Don't tell me—he wants a latte as well?"

"No, his wig's missing."

"… Huh?"

"The Legolas wig! They couldn't find it in costumes. We think an animal came in at night and took it."

The man, who seemed to be the director, threw his arms into the air. "Oh hell! Whose dumb idea was it to film out here anyway?"

Everyone pointed to him.

"…"

Bakura was quite confused as to why they were there but managed to figure out there must be a movie in the making. The crew seemed to be too engrossed in their lack of actors to notice him so he decided to try and sneak back to Marik and Yami. But before he could make his move, a man in a long, white beard and white robes walked in through the trees with a big wand he held in one hand.

The director-man said to him, "Ian! Finally, someone is taking this seriously. Were you able to round up the others?"

"Nope," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Viggo's in his trailer pouting, Orlando's off somewhere looking for his wig and John is stuck on the toilet. Too many bean-burritos. I told you not to stick those on the lunch-cart, Peter."

He frowned.

Bakura, who was still behind his rock, gasped. That man must be the magical Wizard that they were trying to find all along. He held in his urge to run up to the man and demand that he change him back to the way he previously was. Instead, he took off in between the trees and in about ten minutes, he found Yami and Marik where he'd left them.

"Y-You guys! You'll neber guess wat I jus saw!"

Marik pursed his lips. "Well, it obiouswy wasn't food."

"'Kura, we're hungwy," Yami complained.

"Wisten! Dere's a whole moobie-makin' cwew jus in dere! An' dey got dat Wizard dat Yami said we was wookin' for! He's wight in dere!" Bakura pointed to the woods.

"Weally…?" Yami blinked.

"Yeah!"

Yami looked from him to Marik. Marik had an unreadable expression and so Yami smiled at Bakura, "Gweat job. Wets go check it out."

He nodded.

Yami raised his hand to the thief. "High-five!"

"… No."

"…"

* * *

It was beginning to darken on the path the hikaris had taken. They were tired and hadn't eaten in a while, like their other halves.

"I'm so hungry," Malik said, dismally.

"Me, too," Yugi agreed, holding his stomach.

The two of them looked over when Ryou said nothing. He was staring straight ahead with a concentrated look on his face. He muttered, "Will… not… be hungry…"

"Ryou! Will you forget the damn diet? We might starve to death!"

"If we do, I'll be in the best shape of my life."

"But you'll be dead!"

"Point?"

"… You don't make any sense!"

Yugi shook his head at the two. He sighed and, with the intake of breath, sniffed the air. "Hey… hey, wait guys, do you smell that?"

"It wasn't me."

"No! No, I mean, it smells like food."

"Hmm?" Malik sniffed as well. "Yeah, it does! It smells good. Where's it coming from?"

"Over there! Behind the trees!"

So the three of them sallied forth, off the path and towards the edge of the woods. They had to part a few bushes and kept following their noses until they saw a clearing through some more large trees. A large, roaring fire was going and over it was a huge pig that roasted almost black. Vegetables and foreign fruits lay around the pit and people with face paint and barely any clothes on danced around the fire and laughed and spoke in another language.

"Wow," Malik said. "Just look at all that food…"

"Uh uh. Forget it, you guys. These people may not be friendly and…" Yugi pointed over by one of the huts where sharpened spears lay propped up, "I don't really want to take that chance."

"What's life if you never take chances?"

Yugi frowned.

"Let's just try. They seem reasonable," Malik said with a smile and got up from in between his friends in the bushes.

Ryou and Yugi gasped. "No, wait!"

But it was too late. Malik was already in the clearing and everyone who was before indulged in their own business, looked wide-eyed at Malik. Malik, wanting to break the obvious ice, decided to try his worldly language-skills on them.

He smiled and raised a hand to them. "Hola," he said.

Yugi and Ryou groaned.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Hey, guys, don't forget to review. Hopefully, you people know who played who in The Lord of the Rings but in case you don't, here are some and I'll add them as I introduce more in the story:

Orlando Bloom... Legolas

Viggo Mortensen... Aragorn

John Rhys-Davies... Gimli

Ian McKellen... Gandalf

There we go.


	16. Under the Burrito Sky Part 2

Her Sweetness: Okay, so, the tribe I'm talking about is a New Zealand tribe called the Maori. They aren't violent in real life, I don't think, but hey, it's fan fiction.

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 16:

In the middle of the clearing in which Malik had walked to, the three hikaris were now being held against their wishes. The natives hadn't responded to Malik's language skills so well and they quickly became hostile, taking the teen and finding his companions in the bushes. They were now tied up together by the pit in whish the large pig was roasting with the tribe surrounding them, looking disapproving.

"Great. This is just great, Malik," Yugi said sourly.

"Aw, come on! You can't honestly blame this whole thing on me."

"Oh yes we can. Now, instead of eating, we'll be eaten."

"Shush!" Ryou turned to them sharply as a man who seemed to be the head of the tribe parted the crowd and approached them.

The heavyset man had blue and red stripes on his face and a white tunic to cover himself. He looked at the other men in the tribe and spoke in that odd language. Then, turning to the prisoners, he said, "Why have you intruded on our feast, outsiders?"

"Oh! You guys speak English?" Ryou asked.

"Well, I can," he man said. "The rest of them are stupid. … Ha, see, I can get away with saying things like that because they can't understand me. It's good to be the chief."

They blinked at each other. "Okay, well," Yugi began, "could you please let us go? We didn't mean to intrude; we were just hungry and our friend decided to try to communicate with your people. We're really sorry."

"Yeah," Ryou added, "and if you let us go, we'll leave quietly and be on our way."

"Hmm. Well, I'd love to let you go, fellas."

They brightened.

"But I can't."

They frowned.

"Why?" Malik asked.

"According to tradition, those who intrude on the sacred mating rituals of the Maori tribe must serve the tribe as sacrificial offerings to the gods. As, you know, a good luck charm for the next generation conceived this night."

Yugi pulled a face. "Mating ritual…?"

"Sacrifice?" Ryou echoed, clearly upset. "But we didn't mean to!"

"Hey, hey," the chief raised his hands to settle them down. "I didn't make the rules, I just enforce them.. Tradition, you know. It's all important."

"P-Please, sir," Yugi bowed his head politely. "We have to go. Three boys very important to us are lost somewhere, probably in trouble. They're vulnerable. We have to go find them or something… something horrible might happen. I couldn't live with myself if something had happened to Yami. And I'm sure you feel the same about Marik and Bakura, right, guys?"

Ryou and Malik nodded. "Of course!"

The chief nodded sympathetically. "I understand. Honest, I do! But this soap opera is holding up the sacrifice and, thusly, holding up the mating. The guys are getting kinda antsy, if you get my meaning."

"But—"

"Take them each to a different hut," he ordered to three strong men standing by. As they untied the boys and began to drag them away, the chief wagged his finger after them. "I've seen those adventure movies. If I had put you all in one cell, you'd find some ridiculously miraculous way of over powering the guards and fighting your way out of here. But not today!"

* * *

Back at the woods on the other side of the island, the yamis were sneaking into the scene in which they were filming a scene from the movie. The crew had finally gotten Viggo his latte and John was finished in the bathroom but they hadn't managed to find Orlando's wig. So, being the problem solvers they were, they decided to shoot Legolas only from the chest down in that scene.

Everyone was quiet, the actors in their moment and the cameras soundlessly swiveling.

The chibis stayed behind the rock that Bakura had earlier hid behind and they watched their Wizard as he perfectly delivered line after line.

"He's good," Marik whispered. "Such powa an' emotion!"

Yami glanced at him for a second and then said, "But… you know, he doesn't wook wike he did in da book. He's in white here an' in da book, he's in bwack an' fishnets an' stuff."

"Shut up an' count yer blessings," Bakura scolded. "You weally wanna deal wid anoder weirdo?"

"No, but…"

"But notin'. dis is our guy."

They were quiet through the rest of the scene and, when it was over, the director said, "Alright, people good job! Let's pack it in for the night and head back to our trailers. Tomorrow's another big day. Orlando, can I see you for a second?"

"Sure," said Orlando as he shrugged off his bow and made his way over.

The chibis ducked down so as not to be seen.

"What's up, Pete?" he asked.

"Well, about your wig. We have to find it soon because you have that big scene where you kill all those orcs tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know…"

"And we can't have you looking like this."

Orlando seemed to think a moment. He brightened and said, "How about this? We have a scene where Legolas gets his hair cut and dyed. Like… it's some type of torture… or something…"

Peter sighed. "Let's just concentrate on finding the wig, alright?"

"Okay. See ya," he waved and left.

Peter and the cameramen were packing up and rolling off and so were the yamis. They made sure to stay hidden as they followed the actors back to the large camping grounds their trailers were parked on. Outside, some of the actors gathered under a big covering where there was hot food and drinks.

They boys rode in on a dolly, underneath a camera. As it went by the food tables, they hopped off and sat under the tables, the white sheet hiding them from people in the vicinity.

"Finawy!" Bakura exclaimed and reached up, feeling around with his hand and pulling down a large jelly donut. Marik did the same and pulled down a hotdog and Yami ended up happily with a slice of watermelon.

"So," Yami said in between bites, "do you guys tink we can get to him tonight?"

"Da sooner da better," Marik said.

Bakura nodded.

"Okay, den." he smiled, a seed on his cheek. "Wight afta we get done eatin'."

Bakura reached up and grabbed a pork chop. "Dat could take a while," he said before digging in.

* * *

"Well, this is different, eh, Fruity?"

'I'll say… I'm not Fruity!'

"Hush, Fruity," Grandpa shushed the cat. "I don't even think cats are supposed to be here."

'Well, I wish I wasn't here. Honestly, your stupidity. It's led us to a dead-end job working for stuck-up movie stars.'

As it turned out, when Grandpa had reached into that strange man's pocket back in Domino, Little Fruitcake was unable to stop him in time. However, he did make contact with the old man's wrist and, immediately, a golden light surrounded them and they were transported to this place and when they were seen just standing around, they were given a job to work "behind the scenes" on the making of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Grandpa, thinking it a start and a safe place to plan his next move to look for Yami, took the job and ended up emptying the toilets of the trailers. He'd been at it for a while and didn't really mind but since they had added burritos to the lunch-cart, the job was a bit intolerable.

"Okay, only a few more to go," he said, getting up from where he knelt in front of the now emptied toilet. His blue bucket that was full and beside him sloshed from side to side as he picked it up and stepped out of the trailer with Little Fruitcake in tow.

They walked out of the immediate area to dump the waste in the woods. Grandpa overturned the bucket and it fell out on top of the growing heap.

The old man held his nose. "Hoo-whee! That's unpleasant."

'This is disgusting. Have you no pride, man?'

"Ah, it's not so bad. I'll admit, it's not the greatest job but someone's got to do it. Imagine what it'd be like if we let it sit!"

'I'd rather not.'

They went back to the grounds a few yards away and as the actors left the big covering under which they ate, they headed back to their trailers as well. Grandpa went up the three steps of John's quarter's, tilting his head as Little Fruitcake stayed down on the grass.

"Aren't you coming?"

'Oh, hell no. Did you see how many burritos that guy wolfed down today? With extra hot sauce. You can do this one without me.'

Grandpa's mouth twitched and he opened the door and went in. Unlike most of the others, the toilet was to the immediate right of the door and so Grandpa turned and knelt, almost fainting when he lifted the lid. He worked diligently and carefully and as he did so, the door opened once again, quietly, and three tiny boys walked in.

They stood in the middle of the room, looking around at the emptiness and not noticing the man fighting fumes in the corner.

"He's not in here," Bakura whined.

"I tought I saw him come inside," Yami said, looking around. "Maybe he went back out for a sec."

"Widout us seein'?" Marik raised an eyebrow.

Yami shrugged.

Marik smacked him across the back of the head. "Dun be an idiot! Dat obiously wasn't da Wizard you saw."

"Well, who welse is in here…?" Yami wondered, scanning the room. His large amethyst eyes settled on the man in the corner working. He squinted and recognized the man immediately. "Good gravy, it's Gwandpa," he whispered to the others, pointing.

Marik blinked. "Was dat guy doin' here? Did he follow us?"

"He must have!" Yami concluded. "We gotta get outta here, guys. Gwandpa's not himself wately. He wants me as his gweat-gwandson an' will stwop at notin' at get me!"

"Easy on da drama, Phawoah," Marik said, heading for the door. "Wets jus go an' he won't know we're here."

"Okay… c'mon, 'Kura," Yami waved the thief over towards the door.

Bakura, who must've been in his own little world during that entire conversation, looked up and, upon seeing Grandpa, yelled, "Ey, Yugi's gwandpa! Whatcha doin' here?"

Marik and Yami gaped.

"WAT IS WONG WID YOU?" Marik bellowed.

Grandpa looked up and the first thing he saw was little Yugi panicking. "Yami!" he cried happily, standing and knocking over the bucket, releasing a feral odor.

The chibis gasped and held their abused noses.

"Oh, Yami, you poor little thing," he said and scooped up the chibi in his arms. "Have you been out here all along?"

Yami began to cry. Bakura, being the one to get over the stunning smell first, climbed up Grandpa's overalls and swung on his belt buckle, kicking the old man right in his plastic hip. Grandpa immediately collapsed in pain and dropped Yami. Bakura rolled over and grabbed the young prince's hand, dragging him out of the trailer with Marik beside him.

They panted as they ran past Little Fruitcake sitting on the lush grass and licking himself.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Review, please! 


	17. O Rly? Ya Rly!

Her Sweetness: This story is getting so freaking weird, I swear. But, you know, can you really expect anything other than that from me? Slight warning, this chapter is super choppy, we go back and forth like crazy, sorry about that but it's necessary.

* * *

Rascals R Wee 

Chapter 17:

Grandpa came stampeding out of the trailer after he had managed to pop his hip back into place. As he hit the grass, he looked around but, to his dismay, did not see Yami or any other chibis for that matter. Little Fruitcake had stopped licking himself and looked up at Grandpa, tilting his little furry head.

'You look terrible. Was it that bad in there? Glad I didn't go in.'

"Fruity, listen, have you seen Yami? He and the others just ran out this way!" Grandpa panted, still looking around sweat glistening on his head and his eyes wild.

'Yami? He's here?'

"Sure is, Fruity. Just saw him. But that darn Bakura kicked me in the ol' hip! Little trouble-maker…"

'Well, maybe, if you didn't scare the living crap out of the kids, they wouldn't resort to violence and run away from you. There's a lesson to be learned from all this and let me tell you something else—Hey! Where are you going?' Little Fruitcake watched as Grandpa ran away and behind another trailer supposedly to go find the boys.

John just happened to come up at that moment and walked into his trailer. Little Fruitcake watched him go in and then, when the door shut there was a five second pause before the man shouted, "HOLY HELL!"

The kitten frowned and trotted off in a different direction.

* * *

The three boys took cover in the shadow of a trailer on the opposite side of the grounds from John's. Panting out of exhaustion and fear, they leant back on the metal paneling and Yami slid down to the grass. Marik peaked over the side and looked around. He didn't see Yugi's grandpa. 

"I tink we're in da clear," he said, turning back to his companions. "At weast for now."

"Who knew he'd follow us all da way ta New Zeawand?" Yami asked, exasperated.

"Yeah, an' jus for you, too. Doesn't make sense ta me… but, hey, some people have bad taste."

"Mawik!" Yami said sharply.

"Oh hush. You know I'm kiddin'."

"Weally…?"

"Nope! Now, wet's find dat Wizard," the blonde said, looking across the grounds.

As Yami quietly considered committing suicide, Bakura poked Marik in the back. He said, "Ya tink dat's such a good idea? I mean, wat wid dat gwandpa wunnin' awound. Might not be so safe."

"Yeah but if he's here now, he'll be here in da mournin'. An' it's safer ta do dis kinda stuff unda cover uh night, wight?"

"… Yami, wat chu tink?" Bakura tilted his head back to look at the ex-pharaoh.

Yami was busy trying to slit his wrists with a blade of grass.

Marik and Bakura blinked.

"See wat you did ta him?" Bakura accused.

"Oh, wat? I was jokin'!"

"Weally?"

"Nope."

Bakura rolled his eyes. "Jus say sowwy so we can get on wid our mission. C'mon, it cwant hurt."

"Tell dat to mah kidneys."

Marik protested as Bakura pushed him over to Yami. Marik stared at his fellow chibi for a while and then yawned. Bakura cleared his throat loudly.

Sighing, Marik said, "Wisten, Yami, I'm sowwy if I hurt yer feewings. Now stop bein' emo."

Yami perked up at hearing this. "Ya mean it?"

Bakura glanced at Marik.

The blonde leered and said in a sickly-sweet voice, "Sssssssssssssure."

"Gweat!" Yami hopped up, dropping his blade of grass. "Den wet's go!"

* * *

Inside the hut that Yugi had been placed in, away from his companions, he felt that all was lost. It was bare inside with the exceptions of a fur rug and a few bobbles up against the walls and Yugi wished that they had pushed him in with Malik and Ryou, wherever the two of them were. It wasn't as if the three of them could actually take out the entire tribe and make their way out of there. 

Yugi hated to admit it, even to himself, but he and his friends were more or less along the lines of weenies and certainly not the fighting type.

"It would have been better if we were the ones who were changed," he mused, sitting down in the far corner of the hut. "Our yamis could do this no problem. They wouldn't have even let it get this far, they would have changed us back right away if they could… I'm so sorry I let this happen…"

And, all of a sudden, Yugi felt the emotion of what was happening to be so overwhelming that he released his feelings in song.

"All by myself… don't wanna be… all by myself… anymore…"

* * *

Back at the trailer grounds, as the chibis were getting their plans together, Yami had a sudden outburst. 

"Wat is love! Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more!"

Bakura and Marik exchanged glances.

* * *

Inside Ryou's hut, however, there was no mournful singing going on. He was a far cry from giving in to death and torture. He was crouched down by the flap of the hut through which people entered and exited. Outside, he knew, stood two of the tribe's strong men guarding him until it was time for the sacrifice. 

He poked his head out and looked up. The guards didn't seem to notice him and so, with a sharp stick that he'd taken from inside the hut, he held it like a pool stick and then punched it foreword and straight through the webbing on one of the guard's ankles.

"W—" Ryou cut him off from screaming by kicking him in the wounded ankle, knocking him down and dragging inside.

The other guard blinked at the sudden disappearance of his partner and made the sad mistake of kneeling down looking under the flap. His face was grabbed and he, too, disappeared.

* * *

Off in the corner of the covering was one of the lamp posts set around the grounds so people could make their way during the night. Under that particular lamp sat a depressed Orlando Bloom. He sulked and looked at the grass silently until Ian walked up behind him. 

"What's wrong, Orly?" the man asked, placing a strong hand on his shoulder.

"My wig," he dry-sobbed, "it's no where in my trailer or on the set or in the costumes trailer! I might be fired over this!"

"They can't do that. You're already in the first two movies."

That didn't seem to make him feel better and he sulked some more.

Ian sighed and patted his hair. "It's okay, you'll find it soon," he said and began to walk towards his trailer. The lamp posts across the grounds were starting to dim, signaling to everyone to get back to their respective places and take some rest.

When Ian reached his trailer, he closed and locked the door behind him and went over to his bed, reaching under his pillow and pulling out a blonde wig.

He walked back to his mirror and began to place it on his head. "I really should give the poor boy his wig back… I know! I'll sneak it in his trailer before dawn and no one will be the wiser." He pulled the trunk out from under the desk and opened it, rolling on his leather boots and then talking off his Gandalf-cloak to put on the black corset.

Sparing himself a longing look in the mirror, he sighed, "But I'm gonna miss you, baby."

* * *

Malik was sitting calmly in his hut, silently cursing his other half for being the reason he was about to be sacrificed to tribal gods. He was completely surprised when the flap to the hut was flipped open and in came Ryou, naked and bloody. His normally chocolaty eyes were narrowed and darting around the room. 

"R-Ryou—" Malik began but was silenced when Ryou zipped over to him with his hand over the blonde's mouth.

"Shh," he insisted. "We're getting out of here."

Blinking slowly, Malik nodded.

* * *

"Ugh. I just can't find those little whippersnappers anywhere… Maybe they're in one of the trailers or something." 

Grandpa was still wandering around in the near dark, trying to find the boys. At this point the was back by the heap on which he dumped the mess from the toilets. He had to hold his nose walking over there and had almost decided to go back to the main area when he heard a rustling in the bushes.

"Um. Hello? Anyone there?"

More rustling.

"Fruity..? That you?"

A hand darted out from the underbrush, grabbed the old man by the wrist and pulled him in, a muffled scream following.

* * *

When Malik and Ryou had managed to make it to Yugi's hut without being noticed in the darkness and shadow of the trees, they slithered through the flap and walked in on something most unexpected. Yugi was in the middle of the hut, standing with his arm outreached to an audience only he could see. 

"Just like me… they long to be… close to you…"

Malik raised a finger. "Um… Y-Yugi—?"

"Waaaaahhhhhh! Close to you! Waaaahhhhhhh! Close to yo—ACK!"

"Cut that out, we have things to do!" Ryou said after sparing Yugi a small smack in the mouth.

Yugi rubbed his mouth sorely at first as he pouted on the ground. He looked up a second later, his already large eyes rounding at the sight before him. He pointed to Ryou and said simply, "Naked."

"Yeah," Malik looked at him, "I was going to ask but I didn't want to be the only one curious. Why are you naked?"

"To prey on their fear… move like an animal to feel the kill," Ryou said, a mysterious glint in his eye.

Yugi and Malik exchanged glances.

"Anyone besides me think Ryou needs a time out?" Malik asked.

Yugi raised his hand.

Ryou shook his head and inched near the flap again. "On your feet, Yugi," he said, peeking out into the night. "I can't take them all out, hopefully we can sneak into the woods and they won't come after us. Ready?"

"Ready as we'll ever be."

"That's what I like to hear! Let's go."

So Ryou got down on all fours—giving Malik and Yugi a disturbing view—and crawled out of the hut, signaling to the other hikaris to follow suit. They did and soon the boys were out in the nighttime air, the soft grass under their knees and hands. The tribe was still by the pig pit, building another fire higher and higher, seemingly to be for their would-be sacrifices. Nobody seemed to be noticing the missing guards whose blood Ryou wore.

The three of the made it out of the main circle of huts and were heading quickly for the woods beyond the clearing. They thought they would make it but as they closed in on the underbrush, Ryou was stopped by a large leg being planted in front of him. He and the others looked up to see three more guards and the chief standing in their way.

"Crap," they said simultaneously.

One of the guards walked over and picked Yugi up by the back of his neck and the young teen wailed, "I don't wanna be a mating ritual sacrifice!"

Malik and Ryou began to bawl as well but before they were taken, the chief took Yugi from the other man's grasp and said something to them in their native tongue. The three men looked at each other and walked away, seemingly puzzled. The chief set Yugi back on the ground and pushed the boy towards the woods.

"Go on," he said, "hurry."

When the boys just starred at him, he groaned and shoved them foreword.

"W-Wait," Yugi called. "What changed your mind?"

"Does it really matter?" Malik questioned.

The chief shook his head. "Believe it or not… Love."

Everyone's eyes widened.

"It was there in your eyes when you spoke of those boys. I thought you three looked like perfect sacrifices but what kind of monster would I be to stand in the way of _love_?"

The hikaris exchanged glances.

"Now, go!" He shoved Yugi into Malik and Ryou. "Find them, get them back! And when you do, you love them and you _never_ let go!"

And with that, the chief turned and ran back to his tribe. The boys blinked and backed away slowly.

"This place isn't normal," Yugi muttered.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Review, please! 


	18. The Wizard of Suggestiveness

Her Sweetness: He's my best friend, best of all best friends! Do you have a best friend too? It tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy yummy, yeah, you should get a best friend too!

Woot, I love that song so very much. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 18:

It was late and most of the lights on the trailer grounds were out except for a few late-nighters who kept their light on and it could be seen through the drawn curtains. The chibis had made their way around the grounds and were peeking into each window, even the darkened ones, trying to find where their Wizard slept and all the while trying not to be out in the open in case Grandpa was somewhere near by.

They had almost checked them all and had yet to find the one they were looking for. Bakura and Yami followed Marik over to one of the last ones unchecked and Marik stood under the window, holding out his hands cupped so that Bakura could stand on them. Pulling him up, Marik told Yami to hurry and assume the position and he did, climbing the tower of chibis to the top.

He put his tiny hands on the sill to steady himself and, luckily, there was a part in the curtain. He squinted.

"Wat do you see?" Marik asked from the bottom.

"Yami's ass."

"Not you, 'Kura!"

Yami tilted his head. "Well… I see someone in dere… in bwack… bwack underwear…? An' bwond hair…"

"We're at da wong one den, we're wookin' for a guy."

"No… dis one's a guy…"

Bakura asked, "How do ya know?"

"Cause dat underwear don't cover much…"

Marik and Bakura pursed their lips in unison.

"Well, so, do ya tink it's da Wizard?"

"I tink so, he wooks wike him."

"Good grief," Marik sighed, "why are we always dealin' wid da fweaks an' weirdos?" Of course that was a rhetorical question as they each had been asking themselves that since they realized each of their hikaris were, in their own ways, quite possibly the biggest pansies on the planet. "Awight, well," Marik resumed, "get down yous guys, wets go in an' get dis mess ova wid."

"Okay," Yami said, expecting to be let down by Bakura.

Instead, Bakura paused and said, "Know wat's funny?"

"Wat?" they asked.

"Mawik an' I are a lot more aggwessive dan Yami but somehow he ended up on top uh us."

There was silence.

Bakura continued, chuckling nervously. "It's wike… a pun, or something'."

"… Get da hell off me wid dat mess!" Marik shouted and shook himself, dumping both of them onto the grass.

Yami brushed himself off as he stood. "Honestwy, 'Kura, you say da weirdest stuff…"

"Tought you'd be used to it by now."

"No. No, I am not. Now wets go."

They toddled off around the side of the trailer, first checking the corner to make sure they were alone before going up the three stairs and standing on the small porch. Both Marik and Bakura stood on either side of Yami, not wanting to be the one to call on the freak inside. Yami sighed and used his tiny fist to knock on the aluminum door.

"Knock knock," he said casually, in case his fist wasn't heard.

"Who's there?" said a voice from inside.

"Uh… Yami."

"Yami who?"

"… Yami Motou…?"

There was a pause. "I don't get it."

"Wha…? I-It's not a joke!"

"… Oh!"

And, suddenly, the door opened and a man peeked his head out without blonde hair but whitish-gray. He looked down to see three adorable toddlers staring up at him with lavender, amethyst and brown eyes.

He blinked down at them. "Kids? What are you three doing way out here?"

Yami was about to answer but Marik, as per usual, butted in with: "Yeah, yeah, we're soooo cute an' stuff an' we're all awone. Wisten, wet's talk inside; it's cold out here an' I'm freezin' off wat's left uh mah balls."

Yami pursed his lips. "Weal charming."

"Um. Of course… come right in." He moved out of the way and allowed them to enter, shutting the door behind the three.

When they were all inside, the man sat down on a foldable chair in front of his dressing mirror and looked at the boys. "So… um… what brings you here? You guys lost?"

"No, sir," Yami said shyly, trying desperately not to look at what the black thong was revealing. "See… da ting is… we're not weally little kids."

"You're not?"

"No."

"You guys badgers?"

They exchanged glances. "_No_, we're actuawy jus a lot older."

Bakura pointed to Marik. "Well, me an' Yami are a lot older. Mawik is wike, wat, six…?"

Marik was about to bash him on the head but Yami shielded Bakura. "No," he cried out, "no mwore viowence!"

"You tink I care dat yer standin' dere? I'll just kick yer ass den get ta him."

"I dare ya ta twy!" Bakura snarled back.

Both of the yamis were trying to get at one another now and Yami was in the middle of the two, trying to talk some sense into them and simultaneously lapsed into the chorus of "Stop In The Name of Love."

The supposed Wizard watched this spectacle for a moment and then, growing tired of the high-pitched squeals that mostly came from Yami, he reached over and nudged Marik and Bakura away from each other with the back of his hand. They stopped and looked up at him. "Yeah, hello," he said. "You guys kinda neglected to tell me why you're in my trailer during my me-time."

"Oh. Wight." Yami looked around. "Um. 'Kay, well, see, we need yer help, magic Wizard."

"… Wizard?"

"Yeah, we've come all da way fwom Domino City jus ta get here… we need ya ta gwant us a wish just like ya did ta Tawo in dat book."

"… Book? W-Wish? Listen, guys, I want to help if I can but I have no idea what you're talking about."

"But ya gotta!" Yami insisted.

"Wisten, mista," Marik stepped up and pointed his tiny tanned finger in the man's face. "Our oder halves wont turn us back cause dey tink we're all cute so it's up ta you an' don't gimme dat cwap about dis not bein' a good time for you cause it's _neber_ a good time ta be stuck in a fweakin' t'ree year old's body!"

"Yeah," Bakura added, just to be included.

Well, Ian was quite at a loss for what to do. He had known himself since the day he was born and had never granted anyone's wish before. But he couldn't just have these toddlers hanging around in his trailer and one of them already looked like their were on the verge of tears. And if someone happened to stumble in on him in his "me-time" costume and three crying children, some suspicion might be raised.

So what he thought of was something genius, at least from his point of view. He would send the three of them off on some little errand to take them away from his trailer. Hopefully, they would get lost and become someone else's problem but _just in case _they had they sense of a burro 1 and could find their way back, he would lock up tight so that he would not be pestered again.

Having formed his terrific plan, he grinned to himself and looked down at the boys once more.

"Alright," he said grandly, using his major acting skills. "I will grant your wish, young ones, and return you to your original form."

"Yay!" they cheered, happy and trilling.

Ian held up one long, skinny finger. "However, you must do something for me first."

"Dwink wemur pee?" Yami ventured.

Ian paused. "No… You must return _this_ wig from whence it came." And, being all Wizardy, he held up Orlando's blonde wig that he had previously been parading around in.

"Oh," Bakura said. "Fwom… whence… did it… come…? Hey, I said it!"

Marik and Yami clapped politely.

"Well," Ian resumed, "as a matter of fact, not too far from here. The trailer at the end of this row. The man inside may well be sleeping and so, as part of your quest, you must not wake him. Just take the wig and put it on his bed or something, I dunno, somewhere where he can find it in the morning."

They nodded in understanding.

"Catch," he said and tossed it to them. Bakura caught it and held it.

"An' when we come back, you'll turn us back ta big, wight?" Marik questioned, looking wary.

"Sure thing."

That answer seemed good enough for Yami and Bakura was too busy messing with the wig but Marik needed more convincing so he strolled up to Ian and took the man by the hand, hooking his pinky in his own.

"Pwinky-pwomise," he said. "Now, if ya bweak it, all yer famiwy members will pewish in da wake of my wage an' da sky will turn to fire an' hell will wain down on you fwom—"

"How da hell is hell gonna wain on you?" Bakura asked from inside the wig he'd placed atop his head.

Marik glared.

Yami shook his head at Ian. "Don't worry 'bout him, da worse he can do wight now is prolly sit on yer wap an' pee himself."

Marik turned and glared at Yami then.

"Eh," Bakura said, "Mawik did dat when he was big too."

Marik would end up getting whiplash if he changed positions any more so he mumbled, "Screw it," and went out the door with his companions in tow.

Ian watched them go and when the door was shut, he locked it and turned off all the lights. "Whew… some crazy kids running around these days. I blame the parents."

* * *

Meanwhile, the hikaris were tired physically but mentally they had a new drive to find their yamis and were filled with hope not only because of their daring escape of the Maoris and their mating rituals but because seeing Ryou naked and covered in blood was a bit of a religious experience. Not everyone is blessed with that sighting.

He walked ahead as Malik and Yugi lagged behind and whispered to each other on the subject.

"Kinda… changes the way you think about life, right?" Yugi asked his companion.

"Totally. It's like seeing the Virgin Mary in your breakfast cereal."

"No way, it's better than that. It's like when—"

"Um, guys?"

Both of them looked up at Ryou who had turned around to look at them.

"Yes?" they asked.

"What are you two talking about?"

"Um…" They looked at each other. "Breakfast cereal."

"Oh. Well I'm as into Fruit Loops as the next guy but I think I heard something so we all have to be on the lookout."

Yugi began to look around cautiously. "What did you hear?"

"I'm not sure, it was a rustling sound."

Malik shook his head. "I didn't hear anything, maybe—"

Suddenly there was the sound of a whisper and almost as soon as it was heard, both Ryou and Malik jumped into Yugi's arms. His little knees knocked together as he tried to support them.

"G-Guys, you're… r-really heavy…"

"Psst." The sound came again.

Malik let out a frightened scream and Ryou shushed him, pointing over in the darkness where, by the trees, two points of golden light staring at them and the figure on which the lights resided shifted by the tree. The hikaris understood then that they were not alone.

"Oh my god, it's a murderer!" Ryou squealed, all his adrenaline from his previous excursion gone. "We'll going to be killed, we're going to be killed!"

"W-Who are you?" Yugi managed.

The figure moved a little. "Psst. Hey. Come over here. I got something for you three. Something special."

Malik blinked and shifted his weight in Yugi's right arm. "What is it?"

"Don't ask that!" Yugi cried sharply. "We should just leave."

"It's something nice." The figure continued, "Something no one else in the world will have. Something just for you. Don't you want it?"

"No, we don't want it!" Yugi said and Ryou nodded in agreement. Malik, however, got out of Yugi's arms and stood there, studying the man carefully.

"Wait, guys, maybe this could help us get our yamis back."

The man said, "Come over here and reach into my coat pocket. Take what was meant for you."

As Malik walked closer and closer, Yugi and Ryou kept begging for him to return but Malik had reached the man and was standing in front of him though all he could see was his two golden eyes. The man took Malik's hand in his and led it downwards into his coat pocket.

They all heard a high-pitched sound as Malik's hand went in.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Review, please! 


	19. Attack of the Silver Haired Badger

Her Sweetness: Thanks for the reviews, you guys. Yeah, how do ya like my update rampage? One a day, told you I'd get the hang of it sooner or later!

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 19:

The high-pitched scream came from the pocket and a golden light surrounded them, blinding the hikaris and when the light subsided, the darkness of the night returning, the man and his mysterious coat were both gone and what had replaced them was a white ball of fur, settled and coughing in Malik's arms.

Yugi rubbed his eyes and squinted. "L-Little Fruitcake?"

The kitten looked up to see Malik and then peered around his arm to see Yugi and Ryou. 'Hey, we've been looking all over for you!'

"How in the world did you get here? I thought you were back at the house with Grandpa. He's not here too, is he?"

'That foolish old man made me come here,' the kitten informed. 'I think we should kick him out of the house.'

Yugi seemed to ignore this and looked to his companions. "Grandpa must be here, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Ryou said.

'Yami and the others are here, too! At the filming of the Lord of the Rings movie site!' Little Fruitcake was practically screeching now, trying to get some attention.

"You know what," said Malik, "I bet our yamis are here, too."

'I JUST said that!'

"They must be. Come on, we have to get to them. Maybe Little Fruitcake can show us the way."

"Can you do that?" Yugi asked, looking at the kitten Malik had just set down.

'I'm not a dog, I don't—'

"Great!" Yugi pointed his hand to the sky, "Let's go then!"

'Grr, _why_ is everyone so _stupid_?'

* * *

Over in the camping grounds of the filming crew and cast, the yamis made their way without incident to the trailer at the end of the row. The Wizard's instructions were rather simple and as they waked on the springy grass, Bakura made an observation.

"Y'know," he said, playing with the wig, "dis task to get our wish doesn't seem too hard. Put a wig in a guy's twailer. Wats da big deal?"

"Maybe it's sometin' we cwant undastand."

"Or maybe dat guy's jus nuts," Marik opted.

"Mawik!" Yami looked at him sharply. "Dun bite da hand dat feeds you."

"Was Malik got ta do wid dis?"

Yami groaned.

"Wook, here we are!" Bakura pointed to the trailer and ran ahead with the wig covering his silver locks. Marik and Yami followed him to the window. Yami was about to take the wig away from the thief but Bakura tilted his head away. "Lemme do it," he said.

Yami and Marik exchanged looks. "Wat? Why?"

"C'mon, it only takes one person. You guys support me, I'll crawl in an' put it inside and den crawl out. Easy-peasy."

"Yeah, but…" Yami tried to think of a nice way to put his thoughts.

"You'll screw it up," Marik said, not hesitating.

"No, I won't!"

Yami looked at him sympathetically.

Bakura whined, "Twust me!"

Marik shook his head. "'Kura, yer mah fwiend so I jus tought I should tell ya dat yer dumber dan a bag uh peanuts. You'll wake 'em up er set da twailer on fire er sometin'."

Bakura, now clearly insulted, turned away from Marik and jumped on Yami's head. From there, he grabbed onto the sill and lifted up the window, putting one leg in and then the other. He spared his companions one last look and said, "If I dun make it t'rough dis, tell my hikawi… I said hewo." And with that, he slid inside.

* * *

Inside the trailer, Bakura slid off the sill and immediately landed on a slippery rim of the toilet and, losing his balance, he fell backwards into the toilet bowl, splashing water out and onto the floor. In a second, his blonde and silver head popped up, soaking wet. He sighed and lifted one leg out and then the other.

When he hit the ground, his little sneakers were soggy as was the rest of him. He heard a whispered from the window and heard Yami's voice asking, "'Kura? You okay in dere? We tought we heard a spwash."

"Yeah, I'm fwine, I'm jus cobered in piss."

"… Um…"

Bakura rolled his eyes and squinted to map out the darkness. Unfortunately, he couldn't see very far. The only light in the vicinity was the square that came from the moon shining through the window and so he treaded cautiously.

Suddenly, walking on the carpet, he heard light sounds. He looked back towards the window and it registered that it wasn't Yami or Marik so he looked foreword and realized the sounds were coming from in the room. Bakura walked foreword a little more, thinking the sounds were familiar and he was right upon the source when it dawned on him that they were snores.

He saw the shadow of the bed's comforter on the floor. He followed it around to the head of the bed and heard the sounds even louder.

'Dis must be da guy I'm not supposed ta wake up,' he thought and, determinedly, felt around and found a bedside table.

Climbing upon it, he was careful not to make too much noise or slip on his wet clothes. He made it to the top of the wooden nightstand and walked two steps past what he felt was a lamp, a box of tissues and a big bottle of hand lotion. He bent over and felt a small space between the bed and the table and made a tiny leap for it.

Bakura almost fell backwards but caught himself at the last minute and fell foreword instead, crawling around the large figure in the bed. The snores grew disturbed and Bakura was afraid for a split second that he was going to awaken but he only shifted a bit and the snores continued normally.

Bakura smiled to himself and delicately took off the golden wig sorrowfully. He said softly, "Been fun, buddy. Maybe I'll get a bwond wig wike you one day for mahself." And with that, he set it down on the chest of the man sleeping.

Just as he was about to walk away and slide down the comforter, the bed jiggled and the light flashed on. Bakura gasped and looked up, seeing at man with curly brown hair and a fair complexion sitting up in bed with his hand on the lamp switch. The man apparently had no shirt on and was holding up the quilt to his collarbone with his free hand.

They starred at each other for a moment before they both broke out in shrill screams.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU!" he shouted and without waiting for an answer, he kicked and screamed some more, catapulting Bakura off the bed and with a thud, the boy hit the ground.

"WAAAAHHHHHH!" Bakura screamed and, because of his wetness from the toilet, kept slipping all over himself.

* * *

Outside the trailer, Marik turned to Yami and said, "I _towd_ you he'd screw it up! But ya nevah listen ta me, do ya? Nope, wet's jus ignore Mawik eben t'ough he's ALWAYS WIGHT!"

Yami sighed.

* * *

Bakura managed to get himself together long enough to roll up his pant legs and while he did this, the man in the bed was still screaming his head off. The white-haired thief made it back to the toilet and climbed on top, narrowly escaped slipping on the seat and pulled himself up and over the sill, falling on top of Marik.

"Howy cwap," Marik moaned from beneath Bakura. "Get off me!"

Bakura was panting wildly but did as the Egyptian said. "S-Sowwy 'bout dat. But, hey, I did it!"

"Yeah, you did it awright, ya woke dat guy up an' ya smell like you went swimmin' in a toilet!"

"I kinda did."

"Oh, for Ra's sake!"

Yami shrugged his shoulders. "Da wig's in, wets jus go."

The three of them were much too tired to go back to the Wizard's trailer seeing as how it must have been around three in the morning by then. The man whose trailer Bakura had infiltrated stopped screaming a few minutes later and so they camped out behind there, and slept in relative peace until morning.

They were woken when the hustle and bustle of the crew began and the cast emerged from their trailers. The boys got up just as the people were leaving the grounds and everyone had already had breakfast as they could see from the plastic utensils and paper plates dirtied under the covering where their meals were taken.

"Wah! We're wate! Wets go, wets go!" Marik urged, getting the boys up.

Yami yawned loudly with his eyes still closed and reached around like he was searching for something. "Howd on… lemme bwush mah teef first…"

"Wha? No, we don't hab _time_!" Marik did a little pee-pee dance.

Bakura got up and bent down, stretching out his legs and arms. He leaned to the side, saying, "One, two, t'ree, four. One, two, t'ree, four."

Both Yami and Marik looked at him.

"Wat?" he asked. "Ryou says dat ta keep mahself firm, I gots ta do aerobics every day."

"Wat kinda house do you come fwom?" Marik asked, then said. "No, neber mind, I dun wanna know. Can we jus go pwease?"

"But I feel nasty," Yami complained.

"An' ya wook it, too," Marik said, showing no sympathy. "Now, wets go."

* * *

A little ways away, the cast and crew were setting up for their next big scene and Peter, the director, was sitting behind one of the cameras, situating it for the shot and giving orders to the other cameramen on which filters to use.

"Is everyone in costume?" he asked aloud. Random people answered in the positive. He nodded that this was well and then a light bulb flashed above his head and he thought of Orlando and the ordeal with his wig. "Orla—" before he even got the word out, Orlando was running over to him, mowing over the other actors.

"Peter, Peter!" he exclaimed when he reached the man. "Look!" He held up something that looked like a matted, yellow cat.

Peter blinked. "That your wig?"

"Uh-huh!"

"That's great, where'd you find it?" He paused. "And why does it smell like piss?"

"A badger came into my trailer in the middle of the night and left it on my bed. I don't know why it smells this way though. I'm guessing it's the smell of wild animals."

"… A badger?"

"That's right," he smiled.

"… Alright, I'm not even going to bother. Just go get the wig put on and we'll start shooting."

Orlando raised his hand to his head in a salute. "Yes, my captain!"

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, Peter…" and he sulked away.

On his way to costumes, Viggo called over to Peter, "You're not going to let him wear that on set, are you? It stinks!"

"Oh, stop _whining_! Honestly, it's like this is a freaking nursery school! I knew I should have hired Johnny Depp."

Viggo pouted and turned away.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Review, please! I know this chapter's a tad bit short but if I get more reviews, the next one will be longer. We're down to the wire anyway with this one. 


	20. Tossed Salads

Her Sweetness: I'm listening to that song, "Here's To The Night" by Eve 6. Haha, tell me in a review if that affects the chapter. I don't think so since this chapter doesn't take place at night.

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 20:

By the time Bakura finished his aerobics, Yami had gotten the chance to sneak in brushing his teeth by means of scraping the gunk off of his tiny chibi teeth, which, in any other situation, would be unacceptable but he decided to rough it. Marik could barely call that roughing it, he told Yami, and the young prince turned his head away and said something about morning breath. He received a hard slap.

They were finally on their way and walked under the covering where the plastic dishes were floating around in the morning breezes. None of them were tempted by the food, all three had their minds set on the freedom they would soon be given by the Wizard since they had completed their task. Well, sort of.

"I hope ta Ra he doesn't take points off cause ya waked up dat guy, 'Kura," Marik said, sending a light glare the thief's way. "If I have ta stay dis way any wonger than possible, I'll—"

"It wasn't my fauwt!" Bakura insisted.

"I'm sure he'll undastand," Yami said tentatively, "It was a accident."

Marik frowned.

There was silence among them for a while as they followed the tracks of the dollies that the crew had left behind when they went off to that day's location. The trail led them close to the trees on the left side of the clearing and there was a rustling from the bushes nearby. Yami stopped a little and turned his head.

"You guys hear sometin'?"

"No," Marik grunted and kept going, not paying Yami's conspiracies any mind.

"No, weally, I heard sometin'!"

Bakura nodded, "I tink I did too."

"An' I said no, dwammit! Ya always do dis! 'Kura, ya letting' Yami turn ya inta a swissie! Wook, dere's notin dere!" Marik stomped over to the edge of the woods and kicked a bush. "See? Notin!"

And no sooner did he say that did a chunky man in over alls leap out of the underbrush and scared Marik half to death. The tanned chibis screamed and crab-walked backwards on all fours, his lavender eyes wide.

Yami and Bakura paused and then pointed to Marik, shouting, "IN YER FACE!"

"OH SHUT UP!"

The man who they all at once recognized as Grandpa, though his bandana that usually covered his head was now over the lower half of his face, turned around and Yami yipped. "He's wight, 'Kura, gwoat later! It's time ta run!"

"Wait, wait! Don't go," said Grandpa, holding out his hand just as he saw Yami was about to flee.

"Why not?" Bakura tilted his head. "Yer afta Yami, wight?"

"Not anymore."

"Huh?" Marik and Bakura's voices rang together.

"Dats a wie!" Yami shouted, pointing at him. "Yer not yerself as wong as we're in our chibi forms! Ya still want me, yer wyin' so I'll put mah guard down."

"No, never, really. I've changed my ways."

Marik looked back at Yami. "Ya sound pawanoid, Yami. Get ova yerself, maybe he weally doesn't want you no more."

Yami chose to ignore this. He narrowed his eyes at Grandpa. "Wat made ya change yer mind den, huh?"

"Erm… well, you see, I just realized that trying to take you against your will was wrong."

"I towd ya dat afore an' you didn't wisten," the prince accused.

"Um… I found Jesus?"

"Wat's _he_ got ta do wid anything'?"

"Oh, will ya stop bein' so damn suspicious!" Marik flailed his arms at Yami. "He's yer grandpa! Cweepy as he is, we might as well twust 'em."

"But he's a wyer!" Yami said desperately.

Grandpa held up his hands. "I only want to help."

There was a pause and Bakura put his hand under his chin and tilted his head, staring at the man. "I dunno, Mawik… sometin's kinda off about him. Maybe we shwouldn't be so quick ta twust him, he might be able ta outsmart us."

"A tossed salad could outwit _you_, 'Kura. C'mon, wets go." Marik walked foreword until he was side by side with Grandpa and began talking to the man, filling him in on everything that was going on at that moment, what with the Wizard and the wish and the blonde wig.

Yami gasped, watching them go. "Mawik's gunna get us in twouble, 'Kura! Wat're we gunna do?"

"I dun know about you, but I'm gunna find me a tossed salad an' challenge him ta a game uh chess."

"… Oh, for Ra's sake…"

* * *

Meanwhile, the hikaris had been traveling all night with Little Fruitcake leading the way. The kitten tried to tell them that he was not a hunting dog and couldn't do that sniffing scents thing very well but they would have none of that and Yugi shoved Yami's millennium puzzle to the cat's nose and forced him to take a big whiff. After that, Little Fruitcake found a direction and off they went.

The woods lightened as the morning sun found it's way through the thick tree leaves and down into the basin of the woods. The blood on Ryou's body had dried and he felt rather uncomfortable and said so.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have gone on a killing spree last night," Yugi said, one eyebrow raised.

"If I hadn't, we probably wouldn't have made it out alive."

"Either way," Malik shrugged his shoulders. "I bet you don't have a wedgie anymore, do you?"

Ryou paused. "No. I don't actually."

"Good on ya."

Yugi sighed as they continued to walk and, finally, looked down at the fuzzy white kitten whom they were following ever so faithfully. He said, "Little Fruitcake? We getting close?"

The kitten didn't look up from the ground he was sniffing but, discreetly, rolled his large brown eyes. 'You know, I wouldn't be rushing me if I were you. I barely think I'm going the right way anyways and you better be grateful that I'm giving this any sort of effort whatsoever and the only reason I AM is because you say my fucking name right!'

Yugi nodded to his companions. "I think that means yes."

Little Fruitcake groaned.

About ten minutes later, they came upon a cluster of trees that stood in their way, blocking them from the other side. Little Fruitcake obviously thought this was the way to go so he squeezed through and the hikaris followed suit and, appearing on the other side, they shared a group gasp at the sight of a whole movie crew set up.

"Holy crap," Malik whispered. "What's going on here? I thought this was a rural place, not some Hollywood setup."

"Apparently, it's reversible," Ryou said.

'Oh, yeah, they're filming Lord of the Rings,' said Little Fruitcake though he was ignored. Thinking this to be a good time, he sat down and began to clean his fur.

Yugi began to walk further. "Well, this is fine. We'll just ask around and see if anyone's seen our yamis. Surely they'd be easy to spot out here." And so, without giving thought to the possibility that maybe all these cameras were perhaps shooting a scene, he wandered blindly next to a man dressed in armor and tights and a rather mussed up, blond wig.

"Excuse me," Yugi said, tapping him on the shoulder.

The man, who happened to be Orlando, turned around and blinked at the young teenager.

"Hey!" Peter called from behind camera number two. "Who the hell are you?"

Yugi turned and blinked at him. "Me? My name's Yugi."

"Well, Yugi, you just killed the shot!"

Orlando pouted, eyes shining. "But that's the first take I got right!"

"Well, we have to scrap it so get back into character. And you, Yugi, get your butt out of our shot. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I-I don't want any trouble! I was… Well, _we_—" he pointed to his companions just a few feet away, "just wanted to ask if any of you have seen three little boys? They'd be only children to your eyes but their really old."

An older man who was dressed in his character's costume of white robes leant on a nearby tree trunk, sipping a latte near Viggo. He cocked his head to the side, recalling his visitors late last night.

Peter looked at Yugi and then shook his head. "Great. I knew I shouldn't have posted our filming location on my blog. All the freaks and weirdoes come out of hiding. And they weren't all that well hidden to begin with."

Malik pursed his lips. "But we aren't freaks!"

"Or weirdoes," Ryou added.

"Sure you're not. And I'm Tina Turner. Security!"

"Wait!" they shouted.

"Uh," one of the nearby cameramen looked to Peter and whispered, "we don't really have a budget for security."

"_Huh_? No security? What would we do if there was _really_ a threat?"

"We'd _really _be in trouble."

"Oh, for… Alright, listen, you people can stay and cosplay or whatever but don't get in the shots anymore; Orlando already has trouble remembering his lines and we just got him through a huge giggle-fit."

The now-blond looked at Peter and snickered, starting to turn red in the face. "Don't mention it or… hehehehehehe! Oh gosh… teeheeheehee!"

Ian got up from the tree and walked over to Yugi and the others who were a bit put-off and dismayed. "Hey, guys, I didn't really want to say anything but I guess I should… I saw the boys you were looking for last night."

Ryou brightened. "Did you? Where, where?"

"Well, back in my trailer. They were asking me to grant them a wish or something. When we were leaving the grounds this morning, I saw some old man in the bushes, muttering to himself about little boys."

"Grandpa?" Yugi wondered aloud. "Oh no, he'll probably try to kidnap Yami!"

"Why?" Ryou asked.

"I dunno, for some odd reason, he wants Yami as he great-grandson. I think it's really weird but, you know, whatever turns you on."

"Now _that's_ disturbing."

Ian shrugged at them. "Well, you know, just thought I'd mention it."

"We're so glad you did," Malik said and nodded to them. "Let's go and see if they're still there."

Yugi shook his head. "I don't think they will be, guys."

"Why not, Yugi?"

"You know how they are. They never stay put. They may be miles from where they were last night. We'd be better off traveling with these guys since our yamis have, for some reason, shown an interest in this guy. Don't ask me what the wish thing is about, 'cause I have no freaking idea but I really think they'll come back to him."

"You're right," they said in unison. Malik called over to Peter, "We can hang around you guys, can't we? Just tag along…? We won't be any trouble."

Peter was too busy trying to get Orlando through his giggle-fit. "Alright, imagine your mom being slashed to death by a man in a hockey mask. Then you're at her funeral and it's open-casket."

Malik frowned. "I guess that means yes."

The three of them sat down and got situated, waiting and rather enjoying themselves as they were getting some "behind the scenes" action. One of the cameramen who weren't working at the moment walked over to them and held out a brown tray with drinks on it. "Low-fat mocha latte with caramel foam and chocolate sprinkles?" he offered.

They looked at each other, shrugged, and took them.

* * *

At that moment, a little ways away, the chibis who were accompanied by Grandpa were hiking the land, still following the tracks of the dollies and the footprints. Yami was still very wary of Grandpa and Bakura was wrapped up in trying to remember how to play chess. Marik, however, was feeling very comfortable and high and mighty when he told the old man that he was tired of walking and rode on his shoulders.

Marik had long since informed him of their situation and all it's components.

"Ey, wait a minute," the little blonde said when they began to stray from their path of tracks. "Where is ya goin', old man? Dere obiously gone dat way!"

"It's a short cut," he answered.

Yami stomped his foot on the ground. "No! We're goin' da oder way! Mawik, get down fwom dere!"

Marik growled. "Dun you tell me wat ta do, Yami."

"But… but he's wyin! We shouldn't be wid him!" He turned to the thief beside him. "You'll bwack me up, wight, 'Kura?"

"Uh… lessee… da horsey can do wainbow jumps ova de oda pieces, wight?"

"Ugh!" Yami slapped his forehead.

"Keep goin', ya old fart," Marik told Grandpa.

Yami's eyes began to water and he followed, knowing something was amiss but not wanting to leave his fellow yamis. No matter how stupid and deluded they were, he felt a sort of responsibility towards them. And so they continued off the beaten trail and into the woods.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Review, please! 


	21. Heat In The Jungle

Her Sweetness: I'm not working on my computer tonight because I'm over at my dad's house. I'm going for my first day of work tomorrow so, yeah, hopefully I can do this chapter in like a few hours because I have a lot to do.

* * *

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 21:

The scenes with Orlando were going fairly well as he had gotten over his second giggle-fit of the day. Peter had a group huddle with everyone handy including the hikaris and told them not to mention giggle-fits or the word "labia" as that seemed to set him off laughing.

Ryou raised his hand. "How would that word come up in—"

"Hey, it's happened before."

So they accepted it and agreed to keep their conversations low and to relatively normal subjects. Malik, Yugi and Ryou sat on the sidelines and sipped on their lattes; watching Orlando and Viggo and John battle orcs left and right.

Ryou looked down at the drink he was sipping. "Hey, are low-fat mocha latte with caramel foam and chocolate sprinkles fattening at all?"

Malik frowned. "Even if they were, why would it matter? You've guzzled down more than half of it."

"Is it?" Ryou persisted.

"Anything with the words chocolate and caramel in it are bound to be fattening, Ryou. Fact of life," Yugi said and took another large sip.

Ryou gasped, outraged. "Yugi, you wanker! You just let me sit here and chug this thing like no tomorrow knowing that I'd blow up like a balloon! Is that how you get your kicks? You panty-stealing, Windex-drinking midget!"

Malik started to say something then paused, looking at Yugi. "Windex-drinking…?"

"Ryou! You promised not to tell!" Yugi said, dismayed.

"But… oh, whatever. Listen, Ryou, stop acting like that latte is going to make you eligible for Jenny Craig. You're anorexic as it is and don't let me catch you with your finger down your throat after this." Malik turned to the tri-color haired boy to the right of him. "And Yugi… um, stop drinking Windex."

"It was only once," he sulked.

Just then, Peter called over to them, "We got the shot and we're leaving for the next location just a ways up at a local mountain we're using for the Mount Doom scene. You guys coming along?"

"Oh. Yup!" Yugi chirped and they stood with Ryou throwing his latte cup into the woods.

"Ow!"

The hikaris and Little Fruitcake blinked simultaneously and turned towards the thickness of woods where Ryou had launched the container. Emerging from the underbrush and growth was a bound and almost naked old man whom Yugi and, as a matter of fact, almost all of them recognized on sight.

"Grandpa?" He asked in amazement.

'Oh, there you are. Wondered when you would show up.' Little Fruitcake regarded him without much interest.

The old man's hands were tied behind his back and his ankles were bound together as well with tight cloth. He was stripped down to his underwear, even his bandana was gone.

"Oh my gosh, what happened to you?" Yugi asked, rushing over with Malik and Ryou at his sides and they proceeded to untie him.

"I… I searched for you, for someone to help! I was snatched," he explained. "Some odd man who said his name was… uhh… Was it Mario? No, it was Marty! That was it. He took my clothes and disguised himself as me before leaving me tied up in the woods!"

Malik pursed his lips. "Why would anyone want _your_ clothes?"

Yugi elbowed him.

"Listen to me, you guys," Grandpa insisted, sitting up and rubbing his wrists sorely. "The boys are in trouble."

They blinked. "Our yamis?"

"That's right, this Marty fellow said he was after them! He's a sick freak, that one is. Some kind of pedophile from the way he was talking. He took my clothes so they'd trust him! He knows everything about how they got turned small and how I wanted Yami for my grandson."

Ryou looked horrified. "But how does he know all that?"

There was a moment of silence.

Grandpa coughed into his fist. "Um… funny story, actually…"

They did not look in a ha-ha mood.

"Spit it out, old man," Malik said, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, um, he kind of tricked me into telling him…"

"_What? How?_"

"Well, there were candles… and wine…"

Yugi flailed his arms around. "I don't want to hear anymore! Grandpa, how could you betray Yami that way?"

"Did I mention there was music?"

"Ugh!" Yugi rose with the others and he told them what they obviously already knew, or were thinking. "Come on, you guys, no time to lose. We have to find them; I'm not going to let Yami's rose be deflowered by some maniac."

Ryou and Malik exchanged odd glances but nodded anyway. The movie crew was already moving out, leaving them behind and so they ran as fast as they could, following them through the woods and calling out their yamis names with Grandpa and Little Fruitcake following.

* * *

The chibis and Grandpa walked under the rising New Zealand sun. The sky lit up in golds and pinks from the east and a fleeting purple sky to the west. The leaves on the trees blew in the mid morning breeze and the tiny prince in the group of travelers was getting more and more nervous by the minute and had been complaining since they left the marked trail of the movie crew. They now could not see the foot prints any longer as they had past so far behind.

Marik was still riding on Grandpa's shoulders, now lapsed into a bored silence and Bakura was silent as well, walking to Yami's left as they followed the old man. Upset and agitated at the trust they were instilling in an utterly untrustworthy man at the moment, Yami yelled at the man:

"Hey! Jus where are ya takin' us? Dis ain't no shortcut an' you know it!"

"Sure it is," he said calmly, not sparing Yami a glance.

Yami squinted a glare at him. "Dwoes no one tink dere's sometin' off 'bout him?" he screeched, waving his arms about.

"Well, he smews funny," Marik said. "But den again, dat may be 'Kura I'm smewin'."

Bakura shrugged in response.

Yami frowned. "I'm not talkin' 'bout dat!"

"Wait! Listen…" Marik put his tiny hand to his ear and paused. "I tink it's da sound uh no one CARIN'!"

"… Dammit, Mawik, jus wisten ta me! Dis doesn't feel wight!"

"Keep ya feelings ta yerself."

Bakura stepped in this time, putting his hand over Yami's mouth before he could form a retort and they walked that way for a little while, with Yami mumbling protests and Bakura clearly not caring. They kept going in the clearing along side the woods and just beyond them, there were beautiful mountains and hills.

In front of them now was a small, rickety shack standing in the middle of the valley. It looked weathered and old and a bit unsafe, as if it would cave into itself any minute. There was a door just hanging onto it's hinges and Grandpa continued to go towards that shed, not saying anything.

"Wat's dat?" Marik asked.

"It's not safe!" Yami wailed and Marik spat in the young prince's eye. "Uck…"

"Oh…" Grandpa paused. "The crew is coming here to shoot one of the last scenes in the movie. See that mountain over there?" He pointed. "That's what they're using for Mount Doom. Should be quite a scene."

"How conbenient!" Yami huffed.

"It's true. Let's wait in here until they come."

"Wha? Yer nuts! If dey weally are comin' den deres no weason not ta wait OUT HERE in da OPEN."

"Sure dere is," Bakura spoke up.

"_Wat_?"

"In dere is prolly a lot warmer."

Marik nodded sagely. "Good pwoint, 'Kura."

"Dat is NOT a good point! Are ya all stupid? Didja bonk yer heads? Wats wong wid you?"

"Come on then," Grandpa said and entered with Marik on his shoulders. Bakura dragged the kicking and screaming Pharaoh inside as well and once they were in, Grandpa shut the door behind them.

Bakura sat Yami down by one of the walls and the young prince was breathing raggedly when Bakura let go of him. His amethyst eyes were lined with red and he seemed about to go off on Bakura for taking him against his will but before he could, Grandpa leaned against the door and his kindly eyes turned crazed and savage.

He cackled wildly, ripping off the bandana and revealing himself to be the dreaded Marty. "YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE NOW, KIDIES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

They gasped.

* * *

"YAMI!"

"BAKURA!"

"MARIK!"

They screamed as they ran through the woods and tried to listen at the same time for any sound of their other halves' voices. They were, however, rather annoying Peter as they ran around like chickens with their heads cut off.

He frowned deeply and looked to his cameraman and said, "Damn, they're screaming like their kids are about to be molested or something."

* * *

Yami, at the sight of that horrible man once again, yipped soundlessly and then turned to Marik and Bakura who were just as shocked and afraid. "See?" he yelled at them. "I was wight an' da two uh you jus didn't wisten! Ya didn't wisten!"

"Awright, awright," Marik shushed him. "Wets be sowution oriented."

"Sowution fuh wat? Dere is no sowution! Tanks to you simpletons, he's got us cornered in da middle of nowhere!"

"That's right, kiddies," Marty said, a slimly tone to his voice that made the boys shiver. "And for making the biggest fuss out of the bunch, you get to be first."

He picked up Yami by the hair and Yami struggled against the man's grip with all his strength but even when he was normal size, that strength was questionable. Marik looked up at him and shouted, "Do sometin', you idiot! Pwotect yaself!" So, using his only weapon left, Yami wet himself.

Bakura deadpanned. "Oh, dats wovely."

Marty frowned as the golden liquid dripped down his hands, forearms and ultimately his pant legs. Marik rolled his eyes at the spectacle and rushed over with Bakura at his side and they bit the man's ankles. Unfortunately, they screamed and yelped, holding onto their young mouths as Marty grinned in triumph and rolled up his pant legs to reveal steel plates wrapped around them.

"After my defeat on the plane, I came prepared."

"Well, so did _we_," Bakura said matter-of-factly. He slid over to stand in between the man's legs and Marik jumped on Bakura's head, gaining balance and head bashing Marty's crotch.

Marty doubled over in pain and dropped Yami. Marik ended up catching the prince and as soon as Yami was going to thank Marik, the little tomb keeper tossed him up and high-kicked him foreword and into the wooden door of the shack, knocking it down.

Bakura blinked. "Dat… was awesome."

"Tell me sometin' I don't know. Now c'mon," Marik said and with Bakura, they raced outside, making Yami get to his feet as they came out onto the grass. Marty began to get up on his hands and knees and they raced behind the little shed and saw the mountain behind them with people walking up its trail and the distant calling of their names.

* * *

_**TBC…**_

* * *

Her Sweetness: Oh, yes. Less than two hours. XD I did it! 


	22. One Day, In Your Memoirs

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 22:

Just as the chibis rounded the corner of the rickety old shed and realized that someone was calling them, they heard a loud stumbling from behind and whirled around simultaneously to see Marik coming after them, hands outstretched and a wild look on his face.

Yami squealed from fright and took off running, Marik and Bakura following his example even down to the squeals of fright.

They turned into the woods, thinking that it would be easier to avoid Marty in a crowded environment rather than out in the open where he could easily snatch them up again. And they were right; Marty, being the oaf that he was, followed them into the thicket and tripped as he ran over shrubs and roots while the chibis could easily duck and rolled under things.

"YAMI!"

"BAKURA!"

"MARIK!"

The yelling in the distance became closer and closer but the chibis could barely register that the ones doing the calling were the undeniable voices of their other halves. Filled with horror at the sounds of a large person grunting and screaming obscenities behind them, they only ran towards the voices, thinking—hoping—that whoever was on the mountain had purer intentions than their pursuer.

"M-Mah legs as tired!" Yami whined as he rain.

"Ya shoulda stretched er something'," Bakura said back at him.

Marik somehow found time to pick up a small stone and throw it at Bakura without missing a beat at running.

"Wat was dat for?"

"For bein' an idiot!"

"Hey—"

"Yer jus wucky dere ain't enough wocks on Earth ta t'row at ya every time ya deserve!"

Yami was amazed at this sudden defense of Marik on his part and was saddened that he couldn't enjoy because right at that moment, Marty seemed to realize that he was getting no where fast and took a large leap of faith, gaining momentum from pushing off of an uprooted bush and sailed through the air. The chibis didn't realize this and only turned around because they didn't hear heavy breathing or stampeding.

If they had waited a second longer and kept running, they would have been twice as scared for hearing this:

"GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Their eyes were as wide as dinner plates when they saw the man hovering in the air but the incident happened too quickly for any of them to react and unfortunately for poor Bakura, he was right in the line of fire. Marty came falling down on top of the tiny thief and smashed him under his great weight.

Marik and Yami were rigid and frightened.

Yami stuttered. "'K-Kura… ya okay…?"

"Okay?" Marik exclaimed. "Dat deserves a wock. He just got SMUSHED!"

Yami began to cry. "'_Kura_!"

But before the mourning could really begin, Marty, who was laying in a bit of a daze from having hit the ground so hard, began to slid foreword. The ground they had been running on ran at a downward slop until, a few yards ahead, it went from forested to rocky and rough, following the mountain trail.

Yami panicked and Marty shouted as he went foreword, "Holy crap! Someone stop me!"

Marik grabbed Yami's hand and threw the prince on top of Marty's back and launched himself on at the last minute, their added weight giving them enough to go on at an alarming speed.

Marik grabbed two fists full of Marty's hair and pulled them from left to right, using them to steer their vehicle with ease. Yami tugged rapidly on his sleeve. "Mawik, Mawik! 'Kura's still unda dere, we gotta stop!"

"He'll be fine!" Marik called an the wind was blowing against them fiercly as they went to the mountain path. "If he ain't dead already, dat is. If he is, den dere ain't no weal weason to stop, now, is dere?"

Yami gaped. "Yer howible!"

"I know! Don't ya jus love it?"

* * *

"Okay, here is good," said Peter as he looked around, surveying the surrounding area as the cameramen and the actors did the same for the sake of doing it. He looked to his assistant and said, "Get Ian to stand over there, we'll enter this scene with—"

"YAMI!"

"BAKURA!"

"MARIK!"

Peter shuddered and whirled his head around to see the hikaris coming up the mountain and still, as they were on the walk up, calling for their yamis. Peter had finally had enough and shouted at them, "Listen! Guys! The fact that you're looking for those kids is really touching, okay, and I'd be fine with it if I were out here filming a family movie but this is _Lord of the Rings_! So, if you want to stay, do something dramatic and action-packed to get the actors in the mood, otherwise, LEAVE."

Yugi was about to say something but all of a sudden, he heard a scream and looked around. "You guys hear something?"

Little Fruitcake rolled his eyes in Grandpa's direction. 'Please tell me another old fat man isn't going to come jumping out at us again.'

Ryou looked up and pointed. "Look, everyone!"

So they did and their jaws dropped as they saw the tiny forms of Marik and Yami riding on the back of an old, fat man. Marik had gripped his hair in his hands and as they came up to a large rock, Marik yanked back on the fistfuls of hair and the rock was used as a ramp that they went rocketing off of it, coming over it flying twenty feet in the air, overhead of the camera crew and their hikaris.

Peter's assistant looked to him and asked, "Was that action-packed enough?"

"Oh yeah. Maybe we could put that in the movie somewhere…"

The actors were rehearsing their lines a little ways away and Ian was reprimanding the giggling Orlando again.

"I said _labor_, not labia!"

"Y-You said it! Pahahahaha!"

"Oh for… _Where_ is Johnny Depp when we need him?"

And just then, the rather odd vehicle made of fat man landed with a huge thud right between the two actors and while Orlando yipped and ran to hide behind Peter, Ian raised an eyebrow at two of the little visitors he'd had the night before.

"So, you're back, huh?" he asked.

"Damn wight," Marik said, hopping off. Marty was moaning and groaning from the pain and Yami was sniffling, wiping his tears away form his red face. Marik pushed up some of Marty's body and found a tiny pale hand and took it, pulling out a quite dizzy and bashed but not dead thief.

"How was yer twip?" Marik asked him, a grin pulling at his lips.

"Stinky. Yers?"

"Good. Wight, Yami?"

Yami bawled.

"Now wisten here," Marik said, turning to the man in Wizard's clothing. "We delivered dat wig ta dat pansy wike ya wanted now you owe us a wish."

"Um… but…"

"No buts! We wanna be big again. Dats our wish. Gwant it er I'll give ya fwee swimmin' lessons wid a cement kickboard!"

A few yards away were the hikaris who were at a loss for words. They did, however, manage to see that Marty was starting to recover from his fall and raised his tattered and angry face towards the chibis who had their backs turned.

"We have to save them!" Malik cried.

Grandpa turned to them, "He's a pedophile! He'll never stop as long as they're kids! Change them back!"

Yugi looked shocked. "But, we… they…"

"They're so cute…" Ryou provided, looking at his tiny Bakura longingly.

"I know, I know," Grandpa said soothingly and put his hand on Ryou's shoulder. "But if you love them, you'll let them go."

Malik sighed and raised his millennium rod from his belt loop. "He's right, you know. We don't really know what they did, but we have to try _something_."

Yugi nodded and Ryou sniffled but they both brought out their millennium items and they began to glow.

Little Fruitcake watched with interest and his soft white tail patted from side to side. 'I wonder what they'll turn into this time. If I'm lucky, maybe mice.'

Marty was up now and made no noise so as to catch them by surprise. Marik and Bakura were getting very mad at Ian and were shouting that they demanded satisfaction. Yami was the only one to look up and notice the shadow looming over them. He let out a scream as he was picked up by Marty.

"I got you now!"

"Nooooooo!" Yami howled and, suddenly, there was the sound of a sonic boom and a cloud of darkness surrounded the people on the mountain. The only sounds after that were that of choking and coughing. A few minutes later when the smoke wasn't so thick or heavy, the hikaris opened their eyes and fanned at the leftovers hanging in the air.

What they saw on the other side was Marty with his big puckered lips covering Yami's mouth. A grown Yami's mouth. His amethyst eyes were wide open and once he realized that his feet were touching the ground and he'd lost the urge to watch the Teletubbies, he reared back and rammed his fist into Marty's fast, sending the older man's head jerking back and knocking him on to the ground.

Marik and Bakura, both back to their regular height and mentalities looked at the spectacle, saying in unison. "Awesome! You really nailed that freak."

They looked at each other.

"We can talk right!"

Yami opened his mouth and said carefully, "I sell seashells by the seashore. Yep! Everything's on the up and up!" Yami turned towards Ian and said gratefully, "Thank you so much, Wizard. You really saved us."

"Um… you're welcome…?"

"Yami!"

Upon hearing his name, the prince turned around to see his hikari coming over to him, running actually, at top speed with Ryou and Malik at his side and they jumped onto their respective yamis, crying and shouting both words of happiness and scorn.

"How dare you leave the house without telling me!" Ryou said to Bakura, at the same time bopping him on the nose. "Do you know how much trouble you've caused?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"We owe so much money because of the three of you! We crashed a freaking shuttle!" Malik informed the three yamis.

"_Why_?" Yami asked.

Yugi narrowed his eyes at the two taller hikaris. "Actually, that was _you_ guys' fault, not theirs."

"It's all the same, isn't it? Come on, let's go." Marik was getting agitated at still being here and wanted to go home, as did the others. They all agreed and said their goodbyes to the cast and crew.

"Listen," Malik turned to Peter, "can we borrow one of those golf carts you people ride around on? We need to get to the docks and walking… well, walking doesn't seem too appealing right now."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just go already. We've lost lots of good daylight thanks to you people. Orlando, stop _giggling_!"

So they left and Yami said a silent goodbye with his eyes to the man he knew had come through for him, the Wizard of Suggestiveness who cross dressed and pretended not to know what in the world was going on.

They made it to the docks by late afternoon and boarded a ship to take them across the sea to Australia and would take a plane from the international airport there in Melbourne. On the boat, Bakura continued to complain to Marik about how he had abandoned he to ride underneath Marty up the mountain.

"That's low, even for you. I thought we were best friends!"

"We were never written in stone."

Bakura blinked. "Oh, screw you!"

"Don't be salted. You got something great out of it."

Bakura and Yami asked, "What?"

"Yeah. One day, when you write your memoirs, you can add a chapter about your adventures riding under fat pedophiles."

Yami shivered.

Malik waved his hands at the three of them. "Lets sort out the details later; they're having a limbo contest below deck! Let's go play!"

Ryou groaned. "What's the point? Yugi always wins."

They all started to shuffle below deck and Yami stayed put on the wooden floors, looking back. He heard his hikari calling out to him and went below after light fog rolled in and hid the sight from him, that fading pink line which was the coast of New Zealand.

* * *

**The End…**

* * *

Her Sweetness: Ended. Damn, I am so happy to have it over with! I'm going to get to work resurrecting and finishing a story on my Hiatus list so keep watching my profile and stories, alright?

Thanks for all the support on this story, you guys, I was really feeling low about it but your reviews buoyed my spirits until the finish line.

If you want to read a Hiatus list fic, let me hear you SCREAM!

And in case we don't meet again…

Goodbye and Goodluck.


End file.
